Guilt and Gaming

[dunpeal2064]

I am not disagreeing with you, I just do not see why someone would even bother telling someone else how they think they should raise their kids

Its entirely up to the parents.

On the point you were talking about, I think its individual. I would agree that not hiding it may be a good idea, but some kids may react differently than others. I think that the only person in the place to judge what a kid should and should not see, and when, is the parent

[brunoafh]

No. You don't get it. The kids are fucking 3 years old. This is different. Leave your parent issues and leftover teenage angst out of this.

Agreed with this. You're projecting your own past experiences with the subject and ending up with a completely ridiculous response.

[dsheinem]

You may think you are doing good by hiding sex and violence from kids, but you are actually doing harm. Kids are not stupid. If you do a good job explaining things to them, they can handle sex and violence.

Izzy Izzy Izzy...you always do this. You take a position which has some merit and then apply to an extreme degree. As is always the case, you come across looking like an uncaring lout. I don't think that you are: I think you have the best interest of people in mind in your own way. But surely you must see the irony that exists between your own dogmatism and those you deride.

Frank and open discussion with some kids, at some ages, certainly does make sense. But showing a 6 year old porn to explain to them what their willie is for just doesn't make any sense. Brains develop over time. Even yours did! Give a kid too much to handle at too young an age and you run the risk of serious social and perhaps psychological problems. There is a TON of research to support this point. Same as if you forever shelter a kid from multiple worldviews and the realities of the world - you will fuck them up. The trick is striking a balance. And HOW that balance should be struck is necessarily based on a case by case basis. Some kids are more mature earlier, some are not. Surely you must understand that?

[dunpeal2064]

... back on topic.

Play moar shmupppps. There is always time for them.

I am really glad my gf can stcik through watching my play something for as long as she can. Been playing Mana Khemia for over a month, and I am stuck dying on the same boss over and over... but she is still entertained

... wait... maybe she just likes watching me die. What a sadist

[alexis524]

wow this is a great thread. As a parent of a 5 year old, i definitely do not play violent or even semi-violent games around her. I tend to wait until she's asleep or out with the wifey altogether to play that genre. I want her to maintain as much innocence as possible. yes, my wife and I explain what we need to her when we need to, but i feel strongly about exposing her to things that are waaaay beyond her age-appropriateness. It's hard enough to shield her from scenes of young boys and girls kissing on disney and nick.

[phaedrus]

@inazuma really kiddo until you have kids you gotta shut it. i personally do not either although i also am not arrogant enough to give advise where i have no experience. now go back and play your games and let the big kids raise their own.

[Hatta]

Inazuma is right in principle, but not for 3 year olds. They really don't have the abstract reasoning skills yet. You can't teach them what is inappropriate when they don't have the concept of "appropriateness" yet. By 6 or 7 years old they are plenty old enough to be enrolled in a martial arts program, and understand that there's a time and place for hitting and the difference between play, practice, and reality. That's the point when censorship stops being useful.

As for the original topic, this is what you sign up for when you have kids. There's a reason why parents are unhappier than non-parents. They're a drain on your time, energy, and finances. You have to work harder in order to support them, and when you get home, you can't even relax the way you prefer.

[Inazuma]

Inazuma is right in principle, but not for 3 year olds. They really don't have the abstract reasoning skills yet. You can't teach them what is inappropriate when they don't have the concept of "appropriateness" yet. By 6 or 7 years old they are plenty old enough to be enrolled in a martial arts program, and understand that there's a time and place for hitting and the difference between play, practice, and reality. That's the point when censorship stops being useful.

As for the original topic, this is what you sign up for when you have kids. There's a reason why parents are unhappier than non-parents. They're a drain on your time, energy, and finances. You have to work harder in order to support them, and when you get home, you can't even relax the way you prefer.

I love everything about this post and agree completely.

Yes, if they are 3 years old and cannot understand being taught about sex and violence, wait a few years until they are ready.

And yeah, people with kids are generally less happy than people without. That is exactly why I choose not to have kids of my own. It is silly for someone to have kids and then later complain about time, money and being overall less happy than they used to be.

[Pingfa]

On the point you were talking about, I think its individual. I would agree that not hiding it may be a good idea, but some kids may react differently than others.

This is the main thing. For some people, certain things can be harmful.
Personally, I do believe it's best to be open and honest with children at a young age and, of course, have a real rational reason for doing things and be able to explain this to them. That being said, certain things don't apply to certain people.

So, in short, it depends on context. Keep it in context.

[mjmjr25]

Inazuma is right in principle, but not for 3 year olds. They really don't have the abstract reasoning skills yet. You can't teach them what is inappropriate when they don't have the concept of "appropriateness" yet. By 6 or 7 years old they are plenty old enough to be enrolled in a martial arts program, and understand that there's a time and place for hitting and the difference between play, practice, and reality. That's the point when censorship stops being useful.

As for the original topic, this is what you sign up for when you have kids. There's a reason why parents are unhappier than non-parents. They're a drain on your time, energy, and finances. You have to work harder in order to support them, and when you get home, you can't even relax the way you prefer.

I love everything about this post and agree completely.

Yes, if they are 3 years old and cannot understand being taught about sex and violence, wait a few years until they are ready.

And yeah, people with kids are generally less happy than people without. That is exactly why I choose not to have kids of my own. It is silly for someone to have kids and then later complain about time, money and being overall less happy than they used to be.

When did anyone in this thread say they were unhappy? Or regretted having kids? I would not trade my life w/anyone - for a day, err, maybe, but not permanent. If I regretted having kids, I wouldn't have had 4 and looked into adapting. Absolutely, to be a good parent, means you can not be a selfish person - to do it "right" you have to sacrifice time for sure, but that isn't much of a sacrifice really. With that said, I do have some guilt in that I want to do certain things at certain times but am restrained by choices i've made - check that, gladly made and would ABSOLUTELY make the same choices if I could I have a do-over.

Also, @hatta and inazuma, I commend you both for recognizing you are selfish of your time/money/energies (and that's not a sleight) and probably shouldn't have kids. Many people do not realize that fact until it is too late. Parenting is not for selfish people. And while you may think people with children are unhappy, that is an opinion. It is dangerous to spout as if that is fact - it is not. Perhaps for a male 22-35 he is happiest single and without kids - that may be true (though I doubt that too) but at the hospital I work at with a large hospice and mental health unit - I assure you the majority of our clinically depressed patients are single adults. Furthermore, our hospice patients with families (ie, their children, are far happier than our patients who have no family to come see them (those who did not have children).

I'll close with this - are their nights I think, "Damn, wish I had a sitter so I could go do XYZ right now". Yes - absolutely. But much more often than not the opposite is true. Last night I gave my son a new Pokemon game - he is an absolutely gorgeous boy with bright eyes and a brighter smile and personality. He looks at me, smiles wide and says, "Dad, oh Dad. I love you soooo BAD. Dad, I wanna marry you!" and then ran over and gave me a big slobbery kiss. I think the many parents on this thread will agree that those type of moments vastly outweight the, "Darn, i'm depressed I have these kids" moments you guys seem to think are the case.