A question to our openly female racketboy members?

[J T]

I just read through this interesting article at kotaku about how women usually stay anonymous in online gaming circles to avoid harassment. I think this is terrible that they feel that this is something they have to do, but there are some nasty dudes out there that make it hard to do much else.

I know we have a few ladies on here that have revealed their gender. Ideally, I would like to think that Racketboy is (or at least can be) a better place for women to discuss games than many other gaming circles around the web. For those of you that are women, I'm just curious about what your experience is like here on Racketboy. Did people freak out? Do you feel treated differently? Do you still feel welcome here? Have you received nasty pms? Is there anything we could do better here to make this a more open web space for both genders?

[brunoafh]

I find the fact that it's common for males to pretend they're females more disturbing.

[Flake]

I find the fact that it's common for males to pretend they're females more disturbing.

I think it's a wash. Online, girls pretend to be guys to keep skeezy ass losers from harassing them while guys pretend to be girls to get credits, in-game items, or just to screw with the same skeezy ass losers.

In the end, everyone who can act like a decent human being despite the anonymity wins.

[fastbilly1]

I find the fact that it's common for males to pretend they're females more disturbing.

I dont know what you are talking about *huff*

[irixith]

This site is a good space -- but then, smaller communities generally are. I don't care what gender anyone is, as long as they're good people. That being said, being female does affect the way I see the world, my opinions, the games I enjoy and the reasons I enjoy them. That's really the only reason I bother to disclose it.

I used to be one of those people who simply pretended to be a guy to play in the online space, but it's actually a pretty tough deception. Just like a guy pretending to be a girl, the truth comes out eventually, because there are things you just don't know/can't really fake. Now I'm open about it, and just ignore the "pics of your breasts please" and various other commentary.

I like talking about games, you like talking about games, let's talk about games together.

[noiseredux]

I like talking about games, you like talking about games, let's talk about games together.

/thread.

[Flake]

I like talking about games, you like talking about games, let's talk about games together.

If only it was that simple. Part of the problem I imagine women face in this culture is that the natural escapist nature of games precludes any emotional development for so many of the younger male gamers for whom gaming is their main hobby.

All games share at least two primary tenets: There is no lasting penalty for failure and since nothing is 'real' it is easy to treat everything in-game, even other players, with complete detachment.

As a result, even if a dipshit gamer who thinks he's the cat's meow because he just sent an in-game message to a female gamer asking if she'd like to see his penis has the capacity to become a decent and mature person when dealing with the opposite sex in real life, he has no impetus or obligation to become that better person while playing games.

My girl friend is as much a gamer as I am. Maybe even more. She eschews any and all online gaming experiences for the very reasons I stated above. I do not at all blame her and, having dated her for over 2 years, have come to understand the plight of the female gamer. I do not blame any girl for adopting either a masculine or at least androgynous persona while gaming (or just getting) online.

[JordanPlayer]

I used to play Unreal Tournament 2004 competitively for 3 or so years; we had a decent sized Assault community with a couple female gamers (one ended up joining the clan/group I was in). We would practice and have matches together and she was treated just like anyone else... a part of the team. We had the joke-makers, talked about random shit, but at the end of the day she wasn't ragged on or talked about more than any other member. I think that in heavy team-based games (such as how the article describes Team Fortress 2 medic) people don't care about gender, just about working well together to achieve a goal. These games are also harder to come by, most games have more of an individual focus even if they are online so there is less connection.

[Inazuma]

As a bisexual man, it doesn't matter much to me what your gender is. I also don't mind if anyone tries to hit on me in online games and forums. I am a man, after all.

But after saying that, I still find myself being surprised and strangely attracted to females who love video games. I think it's because of how rare they are. I grew up in a time where women never played games at all (8 and 16-bit generations), so it's still a big deal whenever I come across one.

[brunoafh]

I think the whole "girl gamers plight" thing is a bit silly. Everyone is a victim to idiots while playing online games, regardless of your gender. I get death threats and have my sexually questioned while playing Street Fighter IV online somewhat regularly. I don't think getting some stupid messages from horny 14 year old boys online qualifies as anything to get upset over.