When I walked into the room I could tell that the atmosphere of previous conversation suddenly became very stilted. It was a small group gathered that I could tell is used to the "usual" people. It is the equivalent to a blind man walking in and everyone realizes that they can not use the phrase, "Hey man, are you blind?" In my case, they suddenly can not use any big boob remarks. (Hey, a girl can dream can't she?)
Spending most of my life as a gamer has taught me how to handle having guy friends. It comes with the territory. What I have never gotten used to is how uncomfortable I seem to make the other guys every time I walk into a gaming centered shindig. I have considered making a memo that should be announced so that all of the guys can prepare mentally for having a girl intrude. Maybe it should go something like this:
Featured this week at Magic the Gathering: Model 1986 female. All original parts. One previous owner. Loves games. Not an alien.
I found my friend talking Magic strategy with a group standing around the Spider-man comics. It sounded like a different language but lucky for me, my time in Egypt taught me how to interpret the best I could. I took my Racketboy friends advice and put on my confident face while trying to add to the conversation.
Opponent after opponent they came, they won. You know when you are being spanked repeatedly by things called, "Minotaur Warriors" you are in for a rough night.
I had already melted into an inward dialogue of self pity when my final opponent stepped up to the table. He owned every piece of Magic the Gathering equipment I think anyone could own. He came prepared knowing that I would be intimidated by his Magic tshirt, bag, lifecounter iphone app, watch, and card deck case. We all know that someone in possession of so much fan paraphernalia is a great player, right? To make matters worse, he had hair longer than mine that reminded me in native tribes long hair is sometimes a sign of "uber-is-ness." I don't know how the Magic the Gathering tribe divides status among it's natives, but if hair was any indication, I am pretty sure he would be the granddaddy of chiefs. I don't think I would consider his hair anywhere near uber, but he thoroughly enjoyed the status he seemed to think it gained him. I surmised he was also trying to grow a beard to further establish his superiority, but only the bravest of hairs sprouted, leaving a haphazard desert of hair. He spread out his official Magic the Gathering tournament play mat in front of me and simultaneously shuffled his cards. Once when I looked down at my deck, I am pretty sure he used his mind powers to make cards dance around his head.
The execution was swift.
In the end, I had a good time and learned how to play a very interesting game. I had some good laughs and it sorta reminded me of a really bad night of speed dating, only more painful and with more awkward tension in the room. Not to mention their aim was to knock my life points down, not lay me down.
I did walk away with a new game to add to my list and a lesson in intimidation. I am glad I went.
Good shit