Would you date a bi-polar person?

[jp1]

I don't dismiss anyone based on something they have no control over. However, I have been married for over a decade so dating is out of the question. Nobody is perfect and putting a label on someone or deeming them unsuitable because of something they have no control over is very small minded. On the other hand if you don't really love them there is absolutely no chance of making it under any circumstances. If you do really love someone there is nothing that will get in your way.

[Kid Dracula]

I don't dismiss anyone based on something they have no control over. However, I have been married for over a decade so dating is out of the question. Nobody is perfect and putting a label on someone or deeming them unsuitable because of something they have no control over is very small minded. On the other hand if you don't really love them there is absolutely no chance of making it under any circumstances. If you do really love someone there is nothing that will get in your way.

It's not "small-minded" deeming a bi polar person undateable, because some of them are, it just really depends on the person. I don't know if you really understand the disorder but I really loved her and her mental illness stood in the way, I tried doing everything to keep us together and it just didn't work. You can try to change their mind or be there 100% but it doesn't work, once they get in their depressive state then that's it.

[jp1]

I understand the disorder quite well. In fact I would venture to say I understand as well as any other person alive who doesn't have it. And like I said if you really love someone it won't matter. If you don't then there isn't any need to make excuses.

EDIT: I realize now that the comment may sound a bit snarky but it isn't meant to. I'm simply saying that if you don't love someone enough for it to be worth it then there is no need to dwell on the issue. Also it is a bit presumptuous to assume I don't understand a topic I chose to comment on. I have been personally involved with the disorder for over 30 years.

[Yiddishpilot]

I was in a relationship with a girl for almost 10 years who was bi-polar and it was very difficult. There were times where she was medicated and everything was fine but developed a tolerance and had to change meds and then things would be a nightmare. There was definitely more good then bad in our relationship but it could be very trying. I would say stay away but I don't regret the years that I spent with her.

[Luke]

My wife won't let me date anymore.

If I were single, sure, I'd date someone who is bi-polar, as long as she promised that it wouldn't evolve into other problems such as physical abuse/drug use/etc.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has some issue. She's lucky she knows what her's is.

[crux]

As someone who's been very much in fully requited love for seven years and counting - more specifically, as a person with some mental disorders of my own that still receives requited love - I can confidently say this "love concurs all" notion is malarkey. Yes, everyone has problems, and yes, a beautiful person could be standing behind a terrible disorder, but depending on how that disorder manifests itself, it certainly can stand in the way of "true love." People have different definitions of love, but love and tolerance aren't synonymous.

My marriage has persisted because I've tried damn hard to make it work and to get past my mental instabilities (which aren't nearly as severe as bipolarism). Love plays a part in my motivation to be a better person, but it's my own commitment that allows me to enjoy my marriage, not just my wife's.

[jp1]

As someone who's been very much in fully requited love for seven years and counting - more specifically, as a person with some mental disorders of my own that still receives requited love - I can confidently say this "love concurs all" notion is malarkey. Yes, everyone has problems, and yes, a beautiful person could be standing behind a terrible disorder, but depending on how that disorder manifests itself, it certainly can stand in the way of "true love." People have different definitions of love, but love and tolerance aren't synonymous.

My marriage has persisted because I've tried damn hard to make it work and to get past my mental instabilities (which aren't nearly as severe as bipolarism). Love plays a part in my motivation to be a better person, but it's my own commitment that allows me to enjoy my marriage, not just my wife's.

I'm not saying that it is always a good thing to love someone unselfishly. However, I think (and this is only my opinion) that far too many people think that they "love" someone because they love them when things are good and everything is rolling along smoothly. It is possible to love someone and accept all of their faults even if they affect you negatively. I have several family members who have been married 30+, 40+, even 50+ years and have endured some serious hardships at the hand of their significant other but never wavered in their commitment. To say that it is "malarkey" is a bit short sighted I think.

I certainly wasn't implying that you can make a marriage work with only one person being commited or making any effort.

[crux]

It was the way you phrased it that bothered me. Of course it's possible to deal with a disorder, but you were putting the focus on the love of the individual dating the person with the disorder, which is completely unfair. Just as you don't want anyone to assume you don't have an intimate knowledge about the effects of a bipolar disorder, do you find it fair to make presumptions of his love simply because he stated he couldn't make the relationship work? "Love" is simply too nebulous a concept to put all the focus. The person with the disorder has to want to get help, and love isn't the only catalyst to lead a person in the right direction. Love, no matter how strong, also doesn't guarantee that two people want to go in the same direction.

And yes, "love concurs all" is malarkey. I'm not saying that love concurs much is malarkey. I'm claiming that love concurs all is malarkey. It wasn't just love that made those relationships survive for so long, which is what putting the focus on "love" makes it sound like.

[Kid Dracula]

It was the way you phrased it that bothered me. Of course it's possible to deal with a disorder, but you were putting the focus on the love of the individual dating the person with the disorder, which is completely unfair. Just as you don't want anyone to assume you don't have an intimate knowledge about the effects of a bipolar disorder, do you find it fair to make presumptions of his love simply because he stated he couldn't make the relationship work? "Love" is simply too nebulous a concept to put all the focus. The person with the disorder has to want to get help, and love isn't the only catalyst to lead a person in the right direction. Love, no matter how strong, also doesn't guarantee that two people want to go in the same direction.

And yes, "love concurs all" is malarkey. I'm not saying that love concurs much is malarkey. I'm claiming that love concurs all is malarkey. It wasn't just love that made those relationships survive for so long, which is what putting the focus on "love" makes it sound like.

Agreed, the whole "love conquers all" thing is malarkey. I've been with her when she was in her depressive state and wanted NOTHING to do with me. I fought to be by her side when she didn't want to see anyone and would lock herself away. I just wasn't there when "everything was good and going smoothly". I've been there when she was in the best of moods and when she was in the worst of moods, and I've always told her and showed her that I loved her, but in the end she let ME go. I didn't run away or disappear because she was bipolar it didn't matter to me but I figured that's why it didn't work. She has been in 3 previous relationships and they all ended the same way. I would love to just be her friend, but I wouldn't date her again. So in conclusion all of the shit I did for her didn't seem to matter nor did me being there with her and telling her that I love her, so yes, "love conquers all" is bullshit.

[crux]

I have no idea how I wrote "concurs" that many times without noticing.