Would you date a bi-polar person?

[Kid Dracula]

Okay, so I dated this girl off and on since 8th grade and I'm now in my second year of college. When we first started dating everything was grand but it took a turn for the worse. She started getting depressed, and having terrible episodes in the past couple of years, that she didn't have earlier. So we started going out again like 3 weeks ago and within 5 days she broke up with me and went to her grandmother's house because "she hated people more and more everyday". Now the signs were clear earlier but I never thought about it, but she's just now telling me that she's bi-polar, which explains the off and on relationshit. It hurts but now I understand. So let me ask, would you or have you date a bipolar person?

[zxqdms]

Right now I would say no because I don't want that kind of drama and there's plenty of fish in the sea. But I bet if I fell in love with someone with bi-polar disorder, I would be stubborn and try to make it work.

[racketboy]

After going through a divorce, I'm pretty picky, so I'd avoid it if I could see it coming.
But I know it would be a hard decision if you're well into the relationship already.
Dating might not be hard, but marrying one would be tough.

[GamerMON]

I would stay away. You can't "fix" her. Enjoy the memories of the good times but remember the bat shit crazy times. I am sure during her happy episodes she may be cool but is it worth all the bullshit?

[AppleQueso]

Simply depends on how well they can cope with their own disorder and whether they're getting any kind of treatment for it.

[Kid Dracula]

I would stay away. You can't "fix" her. Enjoy the memories of the good times but remember the bat shit crazy times. I am sure during her happy episodes she may be cool but is it worth all the bullshit?

Yeah, that's why I'm staying away. I can't go through that emotional roller coaster again and it's totally NOT worth it.

[spacecog]

Dated one once for 6 months. Don't recommend it. I guess it really depends on if they choose to get help or not. They have to *want* to be better, at the very least. If the person actively tries to keep their situation in check, sticks to therapy etc, is interested in being rehabilitated, then I think it could be okay.

The downside is, some people are just addicted to misery. Maybe perhaps they feel things can't get any worse if they top out at the bottom.

If this person is comfortable with being disturbed they will use it as a way to dodge responsibilities, give you countless guilt trips, and you are in for a really one-sided prolonged emotional drain. Sure, there will be fun times too. These people are up and down. But when they are down, you will get the brunt of the misery.

My suggestion is that you try to make it work if they actively try to get help, but only if you think they deserve another chance.

Don't be an emotional welcome mat or they will trample you continuously. It's an up and down cycle, and once you let them know they can walk on you, they will. Draw a line in the sand.

And if that doesn't work, don't worry. There are a lot of nice girls out there, and not that there aren't tough times for everybody-- but a positive outlook makes all the difference in the world; and provides a much more balanced give and take relationship.

[Flake]

If she admits she has a problem, gets help and sticks to her meds...then yeah.

She might be bipolar but that doesn't mean she's worthless. If you care and she's willing to do what she needs to do to be healthy, why not give it a shot? You could always dump her later. Just be careful with the engagement ring distribution.

[BlackDS]

No, it seems like she isn't going to get much better any time soon.

[crux]

This really depends on context. If we're talking in the context of a blind date where my only information is the mental disorder, of course not. On the other hand, if this was a close, personal friend of mine, of course it may be possible to look past their imperfections, however severe. A bi-polar disorder can be extremely dramatic though, so it's not something to be taken with a grain of salt.