How to Get over a Breakup?

[J T]

What do you guys do?

Everything I have reminds me of her.. our third year anniversary was in a few days. We just broke up on Saturday and I was the one to do it.

You JUST broke up. It's going to suck for awhile. It's supposed to. I wouldn't expect to be feeling better just a few days after. You have to grieve the loss. Just make sure you give yourself some breaks from the grieving. Throw yourself into your work, your game, your workout, whatever. When you're on break, keep pulling your mind back to what you're doing in those moments everytime it wonders back to her. When you're not on break, just think about what it was and what it wasn't. But there's no easy answer. Wounds take time to heal.

[HellHammer]

As sad as it is, it can take years to get over someone you cared deeply about. In all honesty, I'm still not even over my first 'serious' girlfriend from highschool. I still write songs about girls I broke up with 5 years ago. Sooo...if I've learned anything, don't expect to be over it any time soon. Things like new girlfriends, going out to the bar, or being around close friends can be helpful distractions though.

Hopefully, it's a learning experience and you can develop some awesome character traits and coping skills because that's what I think breakups are about.

Also, drugs. I abuse drugs heavily.

[fastbilly1]

I advise to stay away from alcohol. Hitting the bottle hard can lead to worse things. Most of the heavy alcoholics I know started from a breakup - forty years later, still hitting the bottle. A vacation is a good ticket. I used a vacation to get over one of my breakups. Though that vacation mostly meant I went to go see Ack and some of my college friends and we played FFCC for a week.

Ive found what works best for me is physical labor. Last time, when my girlfriend of on and off for five years (ironically the same one for the FFC weekend), broke up with me through facebook, I felled a tree at my parents house and I chopped almost a cord of wood out of it. Yeah it was bad, threwout both shoulders and strained my back...

[Hatta]

I advise to stay away from alcohol. Hitting the bottle hard can lead to worse things. Most of the heavy alcoholics I know started from a breakup - forty years later, still hitting the bottle. A vacation is a good ticket.

While you're on vacation though, drink heavily.

Seriously though, you're now free to approach any girl you care to. Do that.

[Niode]

Sleep with her best friend/sister. Best thing you could ever do.

[boobie]

i broke up with my girlfriend who i dated for 4 years.. life was hard after the break up.. actually life was shit. the things that saved me:
1# my best friend who was just awesome. he didnt try to do or say anything.. he just hung out with me even tho i wasnt the greatest company.
2# going to the gym. i have always gone to gym but i took it to next level and really started to go. it distrackted me when i started to sink in self pitty + now im in the best conditon i have ever been which never hurts.
3# sad songs. they worked as a therapy for me. you have to greif theres no way around it. and this was my way.

my life is getting better(its been 4 months now).. still its rough some times but getting better.. just dont let the sorrow take too much of a hold of you!

[MrPopo]

I'll reiterate what others have said; occupy yourself. You want to take your mind off the breakup. Additionally, you want to cut off all contact with this girl for at least 6 months. Trying to downgrade your status to "just friends" is like picking at an open wound; you gotta let it heal. After that's happened you can be friends again.

[sevin0seven]

just keep reminding yourself why you broke up with her in the first place. I've been on that shoe before. it's not easy but i got over it. you have to understand that you will always have a history together and throwing\selling items that reminded you of her helps too. keep ya head up man.

[Inazuma]

You are better off not having a serious relationship anyway. The only reason you are upset is because you don't fully understand that. The best thing to do is just stick to having sex and never let the relationship become serious at all. Treat your woman like a human toilet and you won't get upset when she leaves. You wouldn't be all that upset over losing a toilet, would you?

Friends are for hanging out with, etc. Fuck buddies are to help you get off, nothing more. If you allow yourself to become more than a simple fuck buddy, you open yourself up to many problems, such as becoming sad over a breakup.

[Original_Name]

I'm going through an utterly bizarre situation right now where I had a girlfriend who was absolutely perfect for me, and then everything went to shit for a thousand different reasons -- a million fucked up things happened in her life, and at the end of it she fell out of love with me. She's told me she needs space, and that's incredibly difficult since I was 100% in love with this woman and was basically cut off cold turkey out of nowhere, but I'm managing to do it. To be perfectly honest, I did when it first happened, and I still dream (/have nightmares) about her constantly, but you've got to pour all of your attention into improving yourself -- you will never find yourself in a situation in which you are completely incapable of letting yourself feel better -- so try and fill this void up with as many good feelings as possible. And if you just CAN'T focus on anything but the pain, do it. Let it flow. Listen to music from Revolution Summer and cry your little eyes out, because after you let yourself hit rock bottom, things will only get better -- you're gonna need reboots from time to time. But as soon as you've choked up all the tears you can muster, start working hard on improving some aspect of your life -- as many as possible. Life is about feeling as good as possible. Oh, and I would recommend downloading Embrace's self-titled EP; you might not like the sound, but the lyrics can heal all wounds, even if they poke at them a bit first.

Your emotions are nothing but politics, so get control.