I've Reached a New Low

[Luke]

I made fun of a fat kid. But, hear me out.

There are a lot of things that piss me off, but one thing that really gets me fumed is people who illegally park in or block handicapped spots (yes, I know the Dennis Leary song "I'm an asshole"). When I see someone illegally parked in one, I confront them. Usually I simply ask them if they are mentally or physically handicapped. If they get smart with me, I get smart back. Either way, it usually ends with me telling the person that their Mother would be ashamed of them.

So yesterday, I pulled into the parking lot and saw this obese lady putting her groceries away, and she was parked next to a designated handicap spot. I already knew it. I fucking knew it.

I knew her lazy ass wasn't going to put the cart away, but I didn't expect that she would just leave the cart in the center of the spot. And it's always the ones who need to walk fifteen feet to put a cart away that don't. So, I'm livid. She didn't even care that all the other handicap spots were taken, plus she's a lazy fat ass.

Now usually I handle this situation with more tact. But this time I went Christian Bale on her double butt. I get out of my car before she can enter hers, but her car door is open, and she's about to get in. This is as close to word for word as I can remember, my words black, hers red:

WAIT! What the FUCK do YOU think YOU'RE doing?

Excuse me?

I said what the Fuck do YOU think YOU'RE doing? Your fat ass is just going to leave the cart blocking a handicap spot?

What!?!

Your lazy lard ass can't walk fifteen fucking feet to put away a cart? I mean look at you. You need some exercise you fucking hippo*

They got people who get paid to put the carts away.

Like that's any excuse? (At this point I see her son in the passenger seat, completely petrified). What kind of example are you setting for your son? And look at him! Look at your fat fucking son! He's going to grow up to be a fat fucking lazy lard ass like you. (At this point the kid, who is probably 12-14 turns beet red in the face. I also felt a little bad for making fun of him, but not much).

You mind your own business.

And you go on a fucking diet, and get some fucking exercise by PUTTING THAT FUCKING CART WHERE IT BELONGS.

Fine! (pushes the cart to the store) Does this make you happy Asshole?

What would make me happy is if you either learned about responsibility or had a heart attack.

(Gets in her car and flips me off)

NICE EXAMPLE YOU'RE SETTING FOR YOUR FAT FUCKING SON!


So, then I went grocery shopping. When I left, I (and I promise) helped an elderly lady put her groceries in her trunk, which really helped to calm me down.







*When I get really ticked, I always use playground insults like 4-eyes, hippo, and of that ilk. My vocabulary just ceases to exist.

[Frag Mortuus]

Awesome.

I hate when people use their weight as an excuse for laziness. Their weight is their fault. Very rarely is it actually due to a thyroid problem, but is actually caused by excessive eating of terrible foods, inactivity, or both. They shouldnt inconvenience everyone else and make our lives harder because they are too big to do anything about their situation.

It also pisses me off when fat people take the motorized carts at walmart because they are too fat to walk. If they walked more they wouldnt need the cart.

[deathclaw]

I made fun of a fat kid. But, hear me out.

There are a lot of things that piss me off, but one thing that really gets me fumed is people who illegally park in or block handicapped spots (yes, I know the Dennis Leary song "I'm an asshole"). When I see someone illegally parked in one, I confront them. Usually I simply ask them if they are mentally or physically handicapped. If they get smart with me, I get smart back. Either way, it usually ends with me telling the person that their Mother would be ashamed of them.

So yesterday, I pulled into the parking lot and saw this obese lady putting her groceries away, and she was parked next to a designated handicap spot. I already knew it. I fucking knew it.

I knew her lazy ass wasn't going to put the cart away, but I didn't expect that she would just leave the cart in the center of the spot. And it's always the ones who need to walk fifteen feet to put a cart away that don't. So, I'm livid. She didn't even care that all the other handicap spots were taken, plus she's a lazy fat ass.

Now usually I handle this situation with more tact. But this time I went Christian Bale on her double butt. I get out of my car before she can enter hers, but her car door is open, and she's about to get in. This is as close to word for word as I can remember, my words black, hers red:

WAIT! What the FUCK do YOU think YOU'RE doing?

Excuse me?

I said what the Fuck do YOU think YOU'RE doing? Your fat ass is just going to leave the cart blocking a handicap spot?

What!?!

Your lazy lard ass can't walk fifteen fucking feet to put away a cart? I mean look at you. You need some exercise you fucking hippo*

They got people who get paid to put the carts away.

Like that's any excuse? (At this point I see her son in the passenger seat, completely petrified). What kind of example are you setting for your son? And look at him! Look at your fat fucking son! He's going to grow up to be a fat fucking lazy lard ass like you. (At this point the kid, who is probably 12-14 turns beet red in the face. I also felt a little bad for making fun of him, but not much).

You mind your own business.

And you go on a fucking diet, and get some fucking exercise by PUTTING THAT FUCKING CART WHERE IT BELONGS.

Fine! (pushes the cart to the store) Does this make you happy Asshole?

What would make me happy is if you either learned about responsibility or had a heart attack.

(Gets in her car and flips me off)

NICE EXAMPLE YOU'RE SETTING FOR YOUR FAT FUCKING SON!


So, then I went grocery shopping. When I left, I (and I promise) helped an elderly lady put her groceries in her trunk, which really helped to calm me down.







*When I get really ticked, I always use playground insults like 4-eyes, hippo, and of that ilk. My vocabulary just ceases to exist.

Man, this was stunning I would so want to see them after they left...Are they going to learn a lesson? Or are they going to eat some more, just to calm down and cope with the stress? Is it going to leave a good impact on them? I hope so.

[kgcarini]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...................................Remind me not to piss you off.

That was wayyy overboard.

I personally can not stand what happened either. I make it a point to get the cart myself while the person is still there to put it where it belongs. I do get great joy seeing the persons face being mortified at theit own lazyness!

[gtmtnbiker]

That was quite a response. A bit on the extreme side.

I do get annoyed when people abuse the handicap spaces. The one time I confronted someone at the supermarket. I said that they were parked in a handicap space in case they weren't aware. This was winter time when there was snow on the ground but the space was clearly marked by a sign on the light post. The woman said that it's not a handicap space unless it's marked on the ground. WTF? You lazy shit?

I went outside and saw a cop in the parking lot. I flagged him and pointed out the offender's car. He wrote up a ticket for her car.

It is insane to see people drive around trying to find the closest spot. I purposely park far away to get a little more exercise and to decrease the likelihood of some dolt dinging/scratching my car.

[arion]

"Someone works here that will take care of it" I really hate it when people think like that. What it means is they don't have any responsibility at all. Even when they are completely responsible. This kind of thinking is the reason some people when they go shopping just leave stuff around they decided not to buy. Never mind the fact that the product might need to be kept frozen or cold. "Someone works here and will take care of it"

Anyway she deserved it.

[fastbilly1]

You are a better man than I Luke. When I worked in a mall and I saw the assholes who took a handicap spot since they couldnt walk from the far lot (less than a 1/4th of a mile at the most), I would call a vulture tow truck I met who had a lot about a mile down the road. He would swing in, tow the sucker, and cause all sorts of pissed off folk.

Im sorry, they are designated for a reason. You dont park in a handicapped spot or on a fire lane - the only accident I ever had was when I swerved around a guy in a parking lot who jumped out at me and my right rear hit the front bumper of a car parked in a firelane, I got the fine. Ive gone so far as to call the cops on people parked in firelanes.

[samsonlonghair]

It also pisses me off when fat people take the motorized carts at walmart because they are too fat to walk. If they walked more they wouldnt need the cart.

My wife once tried to ride one of those Wal-carts because her back was hurt very badly. It turns out they are designed only for fat people. The seats can not be adjusted so that a skinny person can fit in the cart properly.

[Luke]

I personally can not stand what happened either. I make it a point to get the cart myself while the person is still there to put it where it belongs. I do get great joy seeing the persons face being mortified at theit own lazyness!

I do the exact same thing, usually while looking at the person while shaking my head from side to side.

And I'm usually not that touchy and boisterous, but yeah, I went a little overboard, but the crowd I attracted seemed to enjoy it.

Anyway, I'd say close to 90% of the people who need the handicapped spots really need the spot. 10%, probably more, are just fat lazy people. Hey, that is fine with me, as long as they go and get the proper tags.

I can just feel the frustration that some people must have because they can't park where they need to park because of some lazy fat ass who doesn't want to walk an extra few feet.

[Ivo]

You probably could have done effectively the same (which I think you are right to do) while leaving out the "profanity" (at least until she called you an asshole) and without mentioning the kid - then it would have been a flawless victory in my book.

Ivo.