Pizza Delivery

[The Apprentice]

OMG Funny story:

Me and my friend Dylan were having pizza delivered. When the doorbell rang I jumped up to pay the guy and this is how the payment went- "Thank You." "Uhhh, um, do you like coke?" "Yeah I guess.." " Um, here. this is free." "Thanks?" *Hands me a walmart bag with a coke bottle inside* "That'll be $16.95" *I hand him a $20 bill. He looks at it strangely then opens a pocket with at least $200 in it.* "You can keep the change" "Uh, I'm aware of that sir. (he calls me sir, and he's at least ten years older than me) "I have a card... Uhh, it's for $5 dollars.. uhh, it says it on the card.. And I have a second one here. Use it by the end of this coming weekend" (It's Saturday) "Thanks." *He goes to sign the card for validation and he drops his pen* "Oops.." "Thank you... Dylan, could you get the door?" *Man leaves, Dylan shuts the door. We burst out laughing.*

True story. The guy had to be stoned or something. It was the best part of my week.

[The Apprentice]

Even better- Some guys from my dad's work were going to the airport for a trip to Bahamas (or however you spell it) and since it is a bit embarrasing I will give these guys false names. Joe is using the bag he usually uses to dive in. His boss, Earl, is with him. They put their bags in the X-Ray Machine, and all of a sudden a man asks them to step out of the line. Apperently Joe's diving bag still had his 6.5 inch diver's knife in it. So Joe tells the security guy that he can get a new knife and to throw away the old one. The man says "That would be a great plan, but unfortunitly carrying a knife over 6 inches long into an airport is a fellony." Since it was a federal crime the FBI got involved, and they start to ask Joe some questions. One of which was "Who do you work for?" Joe tells him "I work for [employer] and I represent the National Rennosanse Association." Unfortunatly for Joe, he ment to say The National Reconosanse Association. The National Rennosanse Association happens to be a domestic Nazi terrorist group! To make the matter worse, when the FBI called Joe's work to confirm his employment, the guy who answers thinks it's a prank call from one of his work buddys and HANGS UP ON THE FBI! Earl corrects the Police when they bring up the whole terrorist thing while the now serrioussly PO'd FBI calls his job again. Some other guy answers and confirms Joe's employment. Joe got to go to the Bahamas, but after he gets back, he's on the no-fly list.

[lordofduct]

ummmm.... ?

Pizza guy?