I INHERITED $5.5 MILLION DOLLARS...

[General Chaos]

These are hilarious. I read them out loud to my wife all the time. I just got one from "Success Brown." WTF--that's some name.

Dear respectful One,

I am success Brown in progress and difficulties; I’m using
this very long needed opportunity to write to you once
more. May i also know from you the academics works and
health? Please i want you to assist me transfer my money
to your country, my father deposited the money in the save
keeping company here before his sudden death, when my
father was in the hospital he called me and release this
information to me as the only daughter, and the amount is
$5.5 millions USD dollars.

Thanks Miss Success Brown,

[Pookie]

So, I contacted the "Attorney"

Attention:

I happen to know Mrs .Cynthia Ricardo very well, over the years I had been assigned by the firm I work with to handle her file and this brought me close to her, she is in intensive care now and she claims to be closer to her God "day by day" borrowing from her terms, it would have been wonderful if you had known her as she is definitely a people oriented person. Only Mrs. Cynthia. can best explain how she got your contact details, I can only imagine it was from her personal search.

I would suggest you follow this through to at least satisfy your conscience, if she donated funds to you, then I would expect you should question why? Especially if you did not really know this woman of faith.

You see she had no issues (child) and so she gave her funds to her brother and sister she actually gave a rather large amount as a gift to her relatives and requested they use some funds for charity, they thought she would die soon so they confiscated everything for their selfish use, this lead her to will her remaining funds to someone else, I had often asked her about this someone else, all she told me was God will show her. I guess you are that someone.

Mrs. Cynthia Ricardo did in fact engage my firm's services in securing requisite documents on your behalf to enable you withdraw her funds presently lodged in an online bank account which she is giving to you in anticipation that you will use the funds judiciously for the good of others. Ordinarily she could have left it for me (her attorney) to handle, but she wanted it to be random, there are a lot of random energy that make up life itself. Some call this fate and some call it destiny. the same factor brought her cancer and it is now bringing you a unique opportunity to be of service to mankind. My job is to ensure you have all the legal backings to withdraw the funds bequeathed to you, Her illness has changed her approach to life.

Therefore note that the details you received from her (tsd/08/ikg/91) was a probing move to establish contact, because I am sure you know as well as I do that most people would snatch at the offer considering the large amount involved and also since the disbursement of this funds would be entirely in the hands of the claimant. For this reason she felt that after our initial communication, I should be able to determine if we can proceed based on certain indices as well as intuitive feeling I would deduce. I shall undertake to collate relevant details with regards to the funds withdrawal process. this will include the original deposit certificate issued by the finance house where her funds were deposited, {you will need to present this at the financial institute where the funds are presently lodged, Power of attorney and her will. And I will find it no imposition to assist you when that time comes.} The relevant documents which include the power of attorney must be completed with pertinent information from you, these will include the following:

Full names:
Address:
Country of origin:
Gender:
Age:
Direct telephone numbers:

Once you send the above details, I shall draft the power of attorney and send you a copy for your use alongside the online bank's contact information details, so you can contact the online bank to make the funds withdrawal. please note that all paper works to gain you access to her funds which you are specifically to put to charitable use will be given to you by me.

Please respond promptly to enable me carry out my legal obligations to you and Mrs. Cynthia Ricardo.

Regards,
Frank Wem.
Attorney at Law.

Niode: Edited because it's impossible to read on some forum themes

[aaron]

do a google search for "Frank Wem, Attorney." pretty interesting how unoriginal these things are.

[SpaceBooger]

I got a good one today from "FedEX":

Dear customer,

You have a Package that is registered with us for shipping. However, the
registered content is a Bank Draft $820,000.00 (Eight Hundred and Twenty
Thousand US Dollars).
Reg .Number: P-01-402761625/Reg Date: 08/13/2009
Your package is registered with us for mailing by your colleague who is
currently undergoing survey project with NNPC (Nigeria National Petroleum
Company). We are sending you this email because your package is been registered
on a Special Order. What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery
Department for immediate dispatch of your package to your residential address.
Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your information, it will take
three (3) working days (72Hrs) for your package to arrive at your designated
destination.
For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have
been paid by your colleague.
However, you will have to pay a sum of £105 GBP which is equivalent to $210 USD
to the FedEx Delivery Department being full payment for the Security Keeping
Fee of the FedEx Company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also
be informed that your colleague wished to pay for the Security Keeping charges,
but we do not accept such payments considering the fact that all items &
packages that are registered with us have a time limitation and we cannot
accept payment without knowing when you will be picking up the package or even
respond to us. So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such a payment
incase of any possible demurrage. Kindly note that your colleague did not leave
us with any further information.
We hope that you respond to us as soon as possible because if you fail to
respond until the expiry date of the foremost package, we may refer the package
to the British Commission for Welfare as the package do not have a return
address. Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Ship Manager) with the
details given below:
Contact Person: Mr. Richard Raynor
Email: [email protected]
Tel: +2347062266794
kindly complete the below form. This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal
address for clarification.
FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
Zip/Postal code:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:
As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the
necessary payment procedure for the Security Keeping Fees. As soon as they
confirm your payment of £105 GBP which is equivalent to $210 USD, they shall
immediately dispatch your package to the designated address. It usually takes
72 Hours being an express delivery service.
Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email address and ensure to
fill the above form as well to enable successful reconfirmation.
Yours faithfully,
Mrs. MARY MAXWELL
FedEx Online Team.
All rights reserved. © 1996-2009 FedEx

[grittykitty]

i never get these types of emails in my personal accounts anymore (of course the first time i did i was like "what?!?"), but we get at least 5 every day at work. i guess if you have nothing better to do, you can play along with them. some guy did that with hilarious results:

http://www.dumbentia.com/gallery_scammers.html

the top one on that page is great! i haven't read any of the others yet though, but still... great

[Jrecee]

Lol I find it hilarious that after all the coverage of "nigerian scams" any of these people would still claim to be from nigeria or even mention nigeria in their e-mails. I'm also baffled by the fact that they can plan out these elaborate scams, yet still can't grasp the english language well enough to write something professional sounding. Seriously whenever I read these I get flashbacks of customer service calls to indian call centers.

Hello, I must, please, check my resources now, as to provide you with this information. One moment, please, thankyou.

[Niode]

Anybody fancy a P-P-P-Powerbook?

[Haoie]

Yay spam!

Fun to read?

[Niode]

OMG the irony!

Spam in a thread about Spam! This has now been elevated to epic thread status.

[General Chaos]

OMG the irony!

Spam in a thread about Spam! This has now been elevated to epic thread status.

Haha... That's just too awesome.