Why? Why do this to yourself?

[Curlypaul]

I dont think that its something anybody feels that they are ready for until you just take the plunge and do it. What I mean is that if you want kids but are waiting until you feel that you are responsible enough to cope with it then you will have a very long wait.

When you do choose to have a baby, the responsibility isnt just an overnight thing, it slowly grows over time so you dont really notice it. You have time to become accustumed to it before you get to the real biggies, the things that will effect your child forever.

I do hear what you are saying though, and I'm not trying to badger you into having a family - I just wanted to make the point that 20 is perfectly old enough to choose to start a family and the OP should just lay off other peoples life choices.

[instant_classic]

whenever any of my friends bring up the subject of pregnancy/children i always refer to the chart on this page entitled 'Why Breed?'


http://vhemt.org/biobreed.htm#instinct

[Haoie]

Oh you virile idiots.

[RCBH928]

It worries me more that it is happening without marriage

[andymol21]

I think there is a fine line between a ready world for a child, and an unready one. There is no problem with age, it is more whether or not the environment the child is to be born into is financially, mentally and emotionally stable to give the child a good home. For example, a 40 year old prostitute who lives in a motel and does not know the father of the baby she is about to give birth to is a lot less of a suitable mother than a 20 year old who is in a loving relationship with the father and has a steady financial flow. Accident or not, one is more likely going to be able to care for the baby better than the other.

The problem is that everyone is different, so the prostitute may be the best mother in the world, whereas the 20 year olds may turn out to be pedophiliac axe murderers! You only know after the baby is born!

[PharmaceuticalCowboy]

Oh you virile idiots.

I agree with this...

[Hatta]

Yeah, I'm not sure why anyone would choose to have children, regardless of their age or financial situation. I don't have enough time for sex, drugs, and rock n roll as it is. Being responsible for another persons life for the next 18 years sounds like a lot of stress, and very little reward.

If you are the breeding type though, 20 is plenty old. In fact, if you look at the natural history of Homo sapiens, 20 is a very late start. People used to be married off and breeding by 15, but of course that was when life expectancy was around 35.

Edit: I should also direct you to this study. In short,

"Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers," says Florida State University's Robin Simon, a sociology professor who's conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. "In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children. It's such a counterintuitive finding because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not."

[Ack]

So what?

Some folks want kids, some folks don't. Who cares? Why are we all trying to make decisions for other folks anyway?

[MrPopo]

So what?

Some folks want kids, some folks don't. Who cares? Why are we all trying to make decisions for other folks anyway?

In my case, I don't want unfit parents raising and screwing up kids so they can perpetuate the cycle.

I've always thought it interesting. I need a license to drive. I need a license to fish. But if I want to create a human life no one is going to stop me. And I can do all kinds of things to screw up that child's life without anyone being the wiser.

[RemyC]

All That matters:

There is no problem with age, it is more whether or not the environment the child is to be born into is financially, mentally and emotionally stable to give the child a good home

Most people in my family are starting families, or getting pregnant by the time they are 20. Even if it wasn't planned, and she's a single mother...the rest of us hop on board to help out, however we can; babysitting once in awhile, giving old cribs, and clothes, etc.
I personally couldn't imagine starting a family for another 10 years. So this is the one time that I'll agree with you guys and say...its preference. hahahaha.

I don't want unfit parents raising and screwing up kids so they can perpetuate the cycle.

I most certainly know some people that shouldn't be spreading their genes.