What was the last movie you've seen?

[PretentiousHipster]

Biopics are tough to do well. I found that Naked Lunch and Mishima worked the best because they took really radical approaches, but it's probably easier to do something like those cases with authors.

[Raging Justice]

Zoolander 2



I had just as much fun with this as the first one, lots of great callbacks too. These movies are so quotable:

Billy Zane - "Think about it man, what if it's a sign?"
Derek - "What if it's a STOP sign Billy?"

Valentina Valencia - "Be careful, Derek. He'll try to get inside your head."
Derek (action movie hero voice) - "Don't worry. It's closed for business"

[Raging Justice]

Emily the Criminal



You know, there is nothing wrong with people making movies that kind of show you how shitty real life can be. I'm not against it, people are free to make movies about whatever the heck they want. However, I'm realizing more and more that I don't really enjoy watching movies like that. The thing is, in 2023, you can turn on the news, go on youtube or social media, and already see how shitty the world is. I don't need my movies showing it to me too. I like my movies to be "escapism", because I see enough of how shitty real life is by simply living in it. I turn to games, movies, music, etc. to get away from that.

All of that is to say, that like Sicario, this is actually a really good movie with a good script, good performances, good music, etc, etc. However, it's very bleak and is another one of those movies that just leaves me feeling empty and numb once the credits role.

To give a short summary, the movie is about a girl who is struggling to get out of debt and ends up getting sucked into a life of crime in order to get out of it. Unsurprisingly, things eventually go bad as they almost always do in movies like this. What's interesting though, is that a lot of people see this movie as a social commentary about real world problems that lead people to being in her situation. I don't know if I agree with that, as I think that the movie clearly shows that this is a woman who makes bad decisions and is ultimately responsible for the consequences of those decisions. However, she clearly sees herself as a victim and is always looking for the easy way out in life. I think different people will have different interpretations. She's not a victim in my eyes. Either way though, shit goes bad, and the ending isn't exacting a feel good one. Not to me at least.

So I don't know, I can't say the movie is bad...and I love Aubrey Plaza. I just feel like I would have preferred watching something else. At least when I'm watching like an action movie or something like that, I can enjoy all of the fun action set pieces even if the story itself is dark and bleak. That's not the case with movies like Sicario and Emily the Criminal. There's nothing "fun" to latch on to. Again, there's nothing wrong with that objectively speaking, it just means that movies like that aren't really for me. So objectively, I give it a thumbs up. Subjectively, I give it a thumbs down

[Raging Justice]

The more and more I think about it, my biggest issue with Emily the Criminal is that the movie seems to want us to relate to or feel bad for Emily when it's so obvious that all of her problems are her own fault. It's like this weird movie that wants me to feel bad for a criminal even though there's absolutely no reason to. Emily is impulsive, irresponsible, has anger issues, is prone to violence, and never takes accountability for her circumstances.

I don't know, this is another one of those movies that got lots of great reviews and I really don't get why. It's that weird type of movie that probably got lots of nominations at some movie award show even though there's nothing special about it. Meh. It's just kind of a boring story about bad things happening to someone...because she's a bad person. Why should I give a fuck?

[Raging Justice]

Cocaine Bear



Some movies are dumb but fun (Violent Night, Zoolander) and some movies are just dumb. Cocaine Bear is in the second category. Do not watch this trash. Elizabeth Banks is a horrible director with no talent.

[marurun]

I think a fairer assessment is she’s a mediocre director whose talent lies in acting, not in directing.

[Raging Justice]

I think a fairer assessment is she’s a mediocre director whose talent lies in acting, not in directing.

That's fair. I'm going to agree with you on that.

So I watched two more movies....

Train to Busan



This movie is goddamn amazing. It's a zombie movie from Korea (so you'll have to watch it with subtitles), and it doesn't really do anything other zombie movies haven't done...but my God does it do it all EXTREMELY well. The people who made this totally get what zombie movies are all about.

This movie is a fast paced, action spectacle in the vein of something like 28 Weeks later...but on steroids. That said, it still finds time for human drama, a key element to any really good zombie film, but those moments come in between incredible set pieces. This is a movie that you'll never get bored watching because something is ALWAYS happening. I made the 28 Weeks later comparison for a reason as this is one of those "fast zombie" movies, not the slow, shambling types. So when you see them YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN!!!!!!! The zombies are so fucking fast that they end up running into each other and causing the zombie equivalent of a five car pile up. Remember what Zombieland taught us:



Not only that, but once people get bitten they turn REALLY...FUCKING...FAST. Although one criticism I could make is that the movie tends to ignore that fast rate of turning when certain characters get bit. I guess plot armor can slow down those infections

I guess if I was being generous I could argue that those people just have more willpower and can resist turning longer than other people.

Another small criticism, the virus affects animals, but this never really becomes a big part of the story beyond one insignificant scene. It's like the movie wants us to know this...but doesn't actually do anything with it.




One thing I like about this movie is that it creates scenarios where the characters have to get clever and smart in order to get past the zombies. It's a movie where people don't just shoot their way past the zombies in every scene. In fact, there are no guns in this movie. So that adds another interesting element. This is the type of movie where people were not prepared for the zombie outbreak so no one's packing machetes, shotguns, etc. So what do you then? You work with what you got, which often means having to punch and kick your way through zombies (doing your best to avoid getting bitten), or finding ways to outsmart them or sneak past them. When you take conventional weapons out of the equation it makes every encounter with the undead more tense. Even more so considering that much of the movie takes place on a claustrophobic train, not the ideal place to deal with zombie hordes...especially when they move like the fucking Flash. This movie is Resident Evil...when you run out of ammo and have nothing but your knife and your wits to rely on. Hell, nobody in this movie even got the luxury of carrying a knife

I think this movie got a sequel, though I honestly don't know how a sequel could top this. It's...THAT good. Korea has been pumping out some good stuff. There's a zombie series called All of us are Dead that I heard is good...and then there's the Squid Game series (which I've seen and highly recommend). Anyway, this movie is awesome.

The Black Phone



Here's another horror movie that I watched. This movie was pretty good. I feel like I can't say much about it without spoiling it though. It's one of those movies where I think the less you know the better. All I'll say is that it's about a creepy guy who kidnaps kids. It's worth a watch.

[marurun]

The Super Mario movie is now on Peacock streaming and I watched it with my kid. I heard a lot about the film and was expecting to feel a certain way about the movie and am surprised to find that I have quite a more complex perspective. On the whole I actually enjoyed it, at least on a very surface level. Most of the character voices were generally good, even Pratt as Mario. He struck a better compromise than I expected and the vocal interplay with Day as Luigi was good. The only voice I really didn’t like was Anya Taylor-Joy as Peach, and that’s not her fault but rather a failure of casting. Peach is so consistently such a high-pitched character In the games that Taylor-Joy is just completely in the wrong register.

I had read lots of complaints about the plot being inconsistent and nonsensical but those must be from folks who have never actually noticed the utter dearth of consistency and high volume of nonsense in the stories in Mario games, assuming there’s even any story to speak of. Honestly, I found the setup to be comparatively coherent next to the narrative experience of the Mario series. I enjoyed all the Easter eggs and callbacks, subtle and not-so.

I would like to address some common character complaints.

“Mario is pretty nimble in Brooklyn. Why suddenly clumsy in the Mushroom Kingdom?” - I can write it off as environmental comfort/familiarity and then lack thereof.

“Peach is so hyper-competent why does she need Mario?” - She doesn’t need Mario. She needs Mario and DK and Toad and more. Doesn’t matter how awesome one person is against some challenges. Sometimes you need a team of competent allies. It is a little strange she’s SO good at everything, but she did grow up in the Mushroom Kingdom and train there and the Mushroom folk are notoriously not aspirational of physically gifted.

“WhyTF does Bowser want to marry Peach? That’s weird and gross.” - Ask Nintendo. That’s their thing. That was not original to the movie.

Fine movie for kids and Mario-fan adults who don’t take the property WAY too seriously. Not actually a GOOD movie in any way, but the primary audience, kids, aren’t too picky.

[Raging Justice]

My biggest issue with the Mario movie is that Mario feels like a sidekick in his own movie. Luigi gets treated even worse. They basically put Luigi in what should have been Peach's role, the damsel in distress. Now there is a lot of counter arguments about this, claiming that Peach is a capable heroine in many of the video games. I agree on this point, but more enough than not she is the damsel in distress. Super Mario Odyssey was the last big Mario game before this movie came out and it literally begins with Bowser capturing Peach with her crying out for Mario to save her. The very first Super Mario Bros. game that came out in the eighties was about Mario saving Princess Peach from Bowser. That is her traditional role in these games. I just went from the first Mario game to the latest one and in both games she is the damsel in distress...but we just can't have that in 2023 because so much of our culture is obsessed with showing strong, independent women now.

Now, I'm totally cool with Peach being a badass who can take care of herself, but I feel like that would have been a cool story arc that could have played out over 2 or 3 of these movies. Instead, they just made her a badass right out of the gate, while Mario is put in the position of having to learn how to be a hero and ultimately fails when he's only able to beat Bowser when him and Luigi are given an invincibility star (and I think it was Peach, not surprisingly, who gave it to them). The whole training course scene served no other purpose than to show the audience that Mario sucks and Peach is awesome, she even said she cleared it on her first try. So the argument that she has been doing this longer than Mario falls flat if she cleared it on her first try. She then tells him that he can still accompany her even though he sucks. So Mario is accompanying Peach on HER adventure. Wait, wasn't this supposed to be the Mario Bros movie? Why does it feel like Mario is the sidekick? I feel like the movie just has this kind of feminist vibe to it where they just don't want to make the female character look weak, but it's perfectly okay to do that to Mario...even though it's HIS movie.

I also hated the scene where Peach's subjects ask her who Mario is and she says, "He's nobody" or the scene where she makes fun of how small he is. It's like the whole movie is Peach being awesome and Mario being made to look like a fool and that kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

A lot of people love this movie though and I'm happy for them, even if I feel differently.

[marurun]

But Mario does have to rescue Peach, and all of Mushroom Kingdom, because the Kong Army plan fails. Mario still does the rescuing. Bowser is too tough for anyone to beat without invincibility.

As for Peach clearing it on the first try, sure, but she also probably didn’t attempt it as a mere baby fresh out of the warp pipe. I think that also speaks to her lack of context. She knows she’s not a Toad, but she also doesn’t really know what it is to not know the Mushroom Kingdom and it’s weird ways. Further, Peach is the Princess, not some wilting flower. She has a plan to stop Bowser and Mario accompanies her and ultimately is the factor that turns the tide after things have gone very wrong. Mario is the Isekai hero here.

Mario games are all different, and if Peach not being a damsel out the gate is what’s throwing you off then yes, I can see how the entire movie would feel like a disconnect. But I also think that’s not a very necessary bit.