Racketyboy Month of Horror 9: The Axis of Sorta Evil

[Ack]

Yeah, I know a lot of people who got bothered by those. Instead, look into some of his later stuff. 13 Assassins would probably interest you more. Or Blade of the Immortal. They're samurai action films, and BotI becomes a straight up bloodbath. Zebraman might also appeal as a weird superhero film that is inventive with it's premise. You should probably avoid the likes of Ichi the Killer or Visitor Q.

[noiseredux]

yeah, I have read the Wiki entries for most of his films once I resigned to not watching his work. I figured at least I could read the plots and know a bit about what he has produced even if I don't want to watch it. The entry on Q was a bit much to even read. Ugh.

...

I started a tradition a couple of years ago that has become known as "Spooky Tuesday" around our house. Every Tuesday in October is a designated date night that revolves around playing some video games fitting of the Halloween season. And over the years it's grown to even be a bit more involved than that, such as sort of also making our dinner that night fit the theme and things like that. It's become a super fun tradition for me, as my wife is great at planning these themed date nights, but October gives me a chance to do the same. I guess my planning skills shine when video games are involved haha.

But that's the other thing - my wife DOES enjoy video games, but she doesn't really make much time for actually gaming. She's kind of the opposite of me with her hobbies. Where as I'm most likely to be gaming, or maybe watching a movie, but just rarely watching TV or reading... she's most likely reading or watching TV, sometimes watching movies and rarely gaming. But these date nights give us a chance to play something new and fun together - and often for me to hunt out new and interesting things. Because it's basically "a couple of hours," that means that we're looking for games that fit this spooky theme that can be played and enjoyed in just a couple of hours. It's not important that we BEAT a game, but rather just that the game feels satisfying to play for just a single night.

So for week number one we played Earth Defense Force 2025. The theme was "Bugs," by the way. My wife made spaghetti (worms) pie, topped with spiders made out of olives that I have to imagine took way longer to cut into shape than I'd have had the patience for. We watched the X-Files episode "Darkness Falls" while we ate, which is an episode about these flesh eating bugs. So I think you see how these date nights work then? Yup. We enjoy the macabre campiness of this kind of stuff. And what's campier than Earth Defense Force? Oh, not very much.

Other suggested viewing pairings for Earth Defense Force 2025: Them!, Eight Legged Freaks, Starship Troopers.

For those who have not played any of the EDF games, here's a brief rundown. First of all the series started as true budget titles (part of the old Simple Series in Japan) but has built up a cult following and sort of blossomed into its own b-movie inspired series over the years. In that sense, I think of it a lot like the Onechenbara series, except instead of girls in bikinis slicing up zombies with samurai swords, you've got marines shooting gigantic bugs using all kinds of crazy guns and vehicles and whatever. These games are super shallow as far as story and substance goes, but they are also so easy to pick and play that they become super fun on an immediately base level. I mean who needs hardcore depth when you can fire a bazooka over and over again while watching an overpass crawling with gigantic ants crumble into what looks like a pile of cardboard before simply disappearing? It's satisfying to say the least.

My wife was totally unfamiliar with the series. I had played Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon back when it was originally released, but only solo and never for any extended amount of time. It was just kind of one of those "oh, okay this is fun" kind of games that I popped in once and never revisited. As of just recently all three of the Xbox 360 EDF games have been made backwards compatible on Xbox One so for this month's festivities I picked up 2025 for no reason other than that just happened to be the one of the three that I stumbled upon at Gamestop in the best physical condition.

When we first booted it up, I don't think my wife was all that impressed. First she was struggling a bit with the camera (I always forget that she needs inverted Y-axis... my bad), and then she was having some trouble keeping track of where I was and where things were on the map. But once she figured that stuff out and realized that we don't even need to stick together because this is ultimately like a big stupid arcade game, she started to actually have a lot of fun with the game.

Early missions are super repetitive - basically just 'kill a bunch of ants,' but things soon start to pick up and you're introduced to new big bugs like these spiders who put up webs between buildings and will actually grab you and pull you up into them. And somewhat later there's even the addition of more robotic alien enemies as well. Seriously, fans of Starship Troopers should play these games. Especially 2025 which even has options for the player to fly around in a jetpacked suit of armor or even control some kind of robot/mech thing. It gets pretty ridiculous SyFy (not sci-fi). In a good way.

I did google to see how long this game is and - damn, it's long. I guess the main campaign is like 85 missions, which is a lot. We did about a dozen in just under two hours. But it was a lot of fun, and really who cares about a story here? Like I said, to us it was just kind of a cheesy arcade game that was a lot of fun for a couple of hours. The last mission we played DID require some team work as she covered me while I worked on firing a bozooka into alien saucers as their doors opened. Good times! This isn't the kind of game that I'd want to play every night until beaten, but it IS the sort of game that we'd come back to when we wanted to kill an hour or so mindlessly. Super mindlessly. In a good way.

[Ack]

Hahaha, there is a remastered version of 2025 on Steam and PS4 called Earth Defense Force 4.1: The Shadow of New Despair. It's like 89 missions long, but it also tracks which difficulty level you beat each level on of the 5 difficulties and across which of the 4 classes, so...1780 total levels. Keep playing once the month is over, and you'll see some crazy stuff, like a mech fight with a Kaiju and swarms of dragons. I've beaten the Normal difficulty with the Ranger class, and it's a beast to get through the whole thing.

[noiseredux]

yeah, we'll definitely continue to play this one (and others) in the future, but it's not something we'd marathon. More like play two hours one night, then probably not touch it again for a couple months. It'll just go into the rotation with stuff like Mario Kart or Diablo III or whatever.

BTW, I don't know why that little lighbulb emoji thing is in my post haha.

[Ack]

20. The Mutilator, AKA Fall Break

Now here is one of those slashers that drifts between bland and good. At times it hits every major trope and doesn't feel like much of an improvement on anything. Could it be The Prowler? Could it be Final Exam? And then it has moments of shocking brilliance that make you hurt in body parts you don't have. If you've seen this movie, it's the gaff scene. if you haven't seen this movie, I'll get to it.

The Mutilator is about a bunch of college kids who go to the beach condo of one of their fathers. What they don't realize is that Dad is more than a little psycho; he's just been on a bender, he's way into hunting, and his wife was accidentally shot by their son, which comes up like twice and then never does again. But that's ok, because college co-eds on their fall break are far more concerned with two things: boozing and sex. So they drink and try to have sex until Dad shows up to kill them.

I say try, because nobody ever actually has sex in this movie. Dad kills them before they get the chance. Hell, they even often get naked or in sleepwear and then change back into their clothes before getting murdered. But at least there is humor, with a practical joker who easily slips between entertaining and annoying all through the film. He even argues to a black man that this white college kid is being discriminated against because there is a senior discount on beer. You can see the look on the shopkeeper's face, like, "Please, white guy, tell me about discrimination." And then he leaves, and the shopkeeper makes fun of him. I'm glad we got to know that everyone finds the clown to be full of shit.

There is also an upbeat theme song all about having sex during the fall break. Ok, it's supposed to be more about some kind of romance, but let's face it, we know what the song is about. It's way more catchy and happy than it should be, considering the last time we hear it, we've just seen a guy get cut in half with his entrails hanging out, which in itself is done in a way that's kinda funny.

What's not funny is the gaff kill. This is the only scene in the movie where I felt repulsed. It involves one particular college co-ed, who we know will probably get killed because she just made the stupid mistake of going off alone, and she gets grabbed and put on the killer's desk of tools. And then he takes a gaff, which is that massive fishing hook on a pole you see up there in the movie poster. And then he hooks her through the groin. Oh yeah, it went inside, and up, and through, and all I can think about is how sexualized violence is wrong as I'm watching this poor girl scream and paw weakly at this big bloody hook sticking outta the front of her pelvis. Yeah, that's staying with me for a bit.

And then we're back to forgettable slasher tropes. Yay. It turns out the crew were all film students. It shows, but they had heart too. I gotta give them credit. I'd have said they have cajones as well, but, well, gaffs. Just saying.

Pre-Gaming
1. Deep Star Six
2. Harbinger Down
3. Island Claws
4. Rabid
5. Attack of the Killer Donuts
6. Demon Wind
7. The Flying Serpent
8. Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings
9. Galaxy of Terror
10. The Dead Pit
11. It Follows
12. Don't Breathe
13. The Alien Factor
14. Howling III: The Marsupials
15. Mutant
16. Final Exam

October
17. Larva
18. Body Melt
19. Voices from Beyond
20. The Mutilator

[Michi]

Ah, yes, the fishing gaff scene.....*shudders*

@Michi: How come no sub-title for this month's thread? Are you reflecting on how horror movies have a tendency to reboot now?

You can tell yourself that. But actually I just sorta forgot, so if anyone has any suggestions for a subtitle for Year 9, I'm all ears.

[Ack]

Ah, yes, the fishing gaff scene.....*shudders*

@Michi: How come no sub-title for this month's thread? Are you reflecting on how horror movies have a tendency to reboot now?

You can tell yourself that. But actually I just sorta forgot, so if anyone has any suggestions for a subtitle for Year 9, I'm all ears.

Oops, you're right, it's a gaff, not a billhook.

And we have to go with Racketboy 9: Axis of Evil...though I do like Racketyboy.

[Ziggy]

Scream 4 (2011) is an incredibly fun, self-aware slasher film that doesn’t do anything new...and is perfectly comfortable with that fact. It classic Wes Craven in every way, and it is comfortable almost to the point of being laid-back (which, admittedly, is a pretty strange thing to write about a horror film). Mostly, it’s just a lot of fun, and it is easily the best Scream film since the original.

I really liked Scream 4. I would agree it's the best one since the original. A lot of times when there's a large gap of time between releases, the follow up tends to fall flat. But I was very surprised with Scream 4. As you said, it was a fun movie. The only thing I didn't like was that the movie lacked the song Red Right Hand some where in it. It was somehow fitting in the first movie, and I always felt like its presence in the second two kinda tied them all together in a way. I was disappointed that I didn't hear it in 4. But other than that one minor thing, I very much enjoyed watching 4.

[Michi]

Ænigma


Kathy, a rather homely young woman who attends St. Mary’s College for girls (or it’s sorority, I’m not sure), is going out on a date with Fred, the schools hunky gym teacher. Unknown to her, the whole thing is a setup for a very cruel prank by Fred and the other girls at the school. Trying to flee from her pursuing tormentors, Kathy is run into traffic and winds up in a coma. After almost dying on the table, Kathy suddenly finds her mind free to roam outside her body. She uses her newfound skill to possess Eva Gordon, the newest student at the college, in order to enact her revenge on all those who tormented her.



Okay, let’s get this out of the way: the plot of Ænigma doesn’t make much sense.

Well, no, that’s not exactly accurate. The plot of Ænigma is simple enough to understand: Girl is seriously wronged, Girl takes revenge on those who wronged her. As far as understanding plot summaries go that one is easy-peasy pumpkin-squeezy. Where Ænigma truly falls apart is in the story and execution. Most of it just doesn’t feel like it made it past the first draft before filming started. Possible plot points are brought up only to be immediately discarded, character motivation seems to be all over the place, it’s never clear how the victims are dying, no explanation is given for Kathy’s supernatural powers, some scenes seem cobbled together and poorly transitioned, and the gore, what little there is, is lackluster, to say the least.

That last point, considering Lucio Fulci’s reputation, is probably the most disappointing, though not surprising considering when the film was made. On top of all that, the dialogue is cringe-worthy, the English dubbing is poorly done, and most all the characters are terribly unlikeable. Clearly, Ænigma had a lot of strikes against it before it even really got started.


The girls at St. Mary’s College in “Boston” aren’t impressed and they weren’t even in the movie.

The main theme of the film is classism, and in that regard the film did a good job in its portrayal. Okay, it did a semi-competent job in its portrayal. Kathy is the daughter of the schools ‘retarded’ maid, while all the other girls come from privileged backgrounds. Thus, Kathy’s revenge center’s around using those markers of high society against her tormentors. Fred, for instance, is obsessed with appearance. Because of course he is, he’s the gym teacher. At one point he smacks one of the girls on the butt and criticizes her for her ‘flab.’ Considering this is a horror movie and every woman in it is required by law to 20 lbs underweight and in the tightest clothes possible, I can only assume he was referring to the 1 mm of skin that wasn’t perfectly toned on her hip. Regardless, he’s clearly a superficial ass and thus his punishment is to be killed by his own reflection. Another character mocks an already comatose Kathy by criticizing her love of garlic-y escargot. Naturally, her fate is to be...smothered by snails?


She must have skipped the class where they taught everyone how to roll over….Or just move in general.
I mean, it’s creepy, but I’m not really sure how this was supposed to be a viable threat, quite honestly.

But, again, the story isn’t 100% consistent, so this pattern of retribution sort of falls apart towards the end.

And it’s that lack of consistency and clarity that’s really the film’s major downfall. For instance, one of the students conspiratorialy whispers to the newly arrived Eva that some nights all the administration disappears and there are strange noises coming from the headmistresses chambers. What could this mean? Is it a late night meeting? Is something sinister going on that could explain Kathy’s mysterious supernatural powers? A demon summoning? A lesbian orgy? Who the hell knows, because it’s never brought up again for the rest of the film. Similarly, Kathy’s poor mom is seen glaring menacingly from behind corners and appears to have a sporadic case of strange red, glowing eyes. Is this where Kathy gets her powers? Is Kathy possessing her own mother when she’s not bothering Eva? Again, no one knows. Maybe not even the director, because it’s never touched upon again or explained in any way. And none of that even touches upon the characters fluctuating motivations (most notably including Kathy’s) and the utter incompetence of every single person at every level of authority. I could probably write a thesis solely focused on the number of plot holes and idiotic story elements in this twisted tale of terror.


But, seriously, why does she have weird cat eyes? Someone explain this to me.

As mentioned above, this is a Fulci film, so some might go into Ænigma expecting a certain level of blood and gore. Those people would be undoubtedly disappointed. The film is surprisingly lacking in the gore department and a lot of the really gory bits that are here happen mostly just out of range of the camera, as do most of the deaths. One gal falls out a window, one dude gets strangled, another gets crushed by a statue and you don’t end up seeing a damn lick of any of it. So there’s nothing particularly memorable here death-wise, minus the snail/slug thing. Everything is pretty standard. Oh, and despite a noticeable focus on eyes, there isn’t even a hint of ocular damage during the entire film. Not even for Kathy, who was supposedly mangled by a car. It was something I totally expected to see and was surprised wasn’t present.


Unless you count blood getting in your eye. In that case, this is a close as you get.

So yeah, Ænigma ends up being pretty bland. The characters are annoying and largely interchangeable. With the exception of Snail Lady the death are uninspired and the story, what little there is, seems cobbled together from a number of better ideas. It’s a shame really, as I see potential in this Carrie rip-off, but the execution just doesn’t let any of it shine through. If you like Lucio Fulci, than Ænigma might be of interest to you. Just know going in that it’s far from his greatest work.


He did sneak in a cameo as the incompetent inspector, though. So, yay?

Ænigma is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.

[Ack]

21. Killer Workout, AKA Aerobicide

This movie has more cheese than a deep dish pizza.

People are getting killed in a gym by a murderer armed with a large safety pin. Det. Lt. Morgan, a tough mullet cop with a bad attitude, is on the case. But so is muscle-hunk Chuck Dawson, a new employee at Rhonda's Fitness. And meanwhile, beautiful women and muscular men keep ending up dead. Also, the sexual harassment and machismo is real!

I feel like this movie is an excuse for people to watch aerobics videos without the stress of knowing you're actually watching an aerobics video. Throughout the film, you just go back to footage of models exercising. The outfits only change once too, so you know all of this was from like two classes at most. Meanwhile, B-grade '80s pop songs that are totally about sex but unable to say so play in the background. And then we go back to the killings, which are...dumb.

You know what's not dumb? Ted Prior, the actor playing Chuck Dawson, looks and moves like he could kick someone's ass. There's a fight scene about 2/3 of the way through the movie where he gets his ass kicked but still smacks a dude with the wrong end of a rake. It's surprisingly well choreographed. Good fight scenes deserve better movies, folks.

So...yeah. Hot folks get killed in dumb ways. The cops are completely inept. Everyone is in spandex and leg warmers. Mullets abound. I don't-

AEROBICS BREAK!

-get who thought this was a good idea. And yet, it's hilariously awful. This is the kind of movie you watch in a crowd, because it's so dumb, it needs to be experienced with friends. I mean it.

Pre-Gaming
1. Deep Star Six
2. Harbinger Down
3. Island Claws
4. Rabid
5. Attack of the Killer Donuts
6. Demon Wind
7. The Flying Serpent
8. Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings
9. Galaxy of Terror
10. The Dead Pit
11. It Follows
12. Don't Breathe
13. The Alien Factor
14. Howling III: The Marsupials
15. Mutant
16. Final Exam

October
17. Larva
18. Body Melt
19. Voices from Beyond
20. The Mutilator
21. Killer Workout