Together Retro: FMV Frenzy

[Exhuminator]

Well, I finished FMV game 3 out of 5 tonight. (Actually I finished this faster than I thought it would, twas a pretty easy game to beat.)



It's Dennis Miller: That's News to Me for the 3DO!

Sanctuary Woods developed and published this game in 1994, with the help of comedian Dennis Miller obviously. Do you folks remember Dennis Miller? He was a hot stuff comic in the early '90s. In this hardcore game, Dennis Miller tells you hardcore jokes! Nah the jokes are actually PG-13, sorry. So you're given four categories of topics to choose from; Politics, Sports, World News, and Showbiz. Each category is broken down by months. Meaning if you choose December for Sports, Dennis will tell you a joke related to that time and concept. I guess. If you do the math, yes there's a total of 48 middling Dennis Miller jokes to be heard. Not just heard, but seen! Yes, Dennis Miller tells you these jokes on camera, via FMV. He's presented as a somewhat deadpan news anchor.



The controls are very simple. Use the d-pad to select a category and month, then press a button to watch Dennis tell you a joke. I beat this game on Easy mode, meaning I watched all 48 jokes and didn't laugh once. No this isn't Mr. Miller's best material. But hey you know what? This game finally got me to try out 3DO emulators. (The best one is FreeDO V1.9 { http://www.freedo.org/ }.) It was kind of interesting to go back to '90s events, and try to remember the context of Dennis Miller's jokes. I mean, it'd been a long time since I thought about Tori Spelling or Melrose Place. Graphically there's not much to see here, the most interesting visual aspect is Dennis Miller himself. There's no music, the only audio I can recall is his voice.



As interesting as That's News To Me was from a historical perspective, and despite the fact it made me try 3DO emulators, this is still like a 3/10. I really had my hopes up high that this was going to be the FMV game to convince me. Alas, I am not yet convinced. But I'm not giving up yet folks. No way! I've still got two more games in the box. Here's hoping number 4 will make me suck crow.

PS if you want more Dennis Miller hard hitting FMV action, check out: That's Geek To Me

[BogusMeatFactory]

Michi, did you see Regina's death yet? That is the most gruesome of them all. It's one of the most psychologically twisted death scenes I have seen in any game or movie. There is also a gory death scene right near the end if you mess up. I messed up a lot and got really tired of seeing it over and over.

Is that the one involving the meat? That one was just....yeah. That one was definitely the most disturbing. I thought the greenhouse one was pretty gruesome, too. I think out of all of them, the least creepy was the one with the bottle, but even that was pretty brutal.

Can you believe that some of these death scenes were put in their magazine? Imagine Sierra before phantasmagoria and how family friendly it was and then BAM!!!!! It is so crazy and fascinating to watch that transition! Glad you guys are enjoying the game so far!!! It is such a wild thing to come from the maker of Mixed Up Mother Goose.

[Ack]

Admittedly, this is also a company that had three employees pose naked in a hot tub, including Roberta Williams.

Anyway, I have beaten Phantasmagoria. Yes, it involved being choked, being hit in the head with a pendulum that would make Poe salivate, and getting my face ripped open by a demon. It's done now though, and I have successfully completed a game that has been on my radar for over 20 years but that I had just never sat down and given a fair shot.

It's quirky, bizarre, and at times problematic, which I will go into in the Games Beaten 2018 thread later after I get some rest. However, the verdict is that I did have a good time playing it. Now I need to think over my options and figure out what I may play next.

Also...Carno really had a thing for killing folks in unique ways in pretty much every room of his house. That dude was creative. Needs more murder though; he completely missed the bathroom.

[BogusMeatFactory]

Admittedly, this is also a company that had three employees pose naked in a hot tub, including Roberta Williams.

Anyway, I have beaten Phantasmagoria. Yes, it involved being choked, being hit in the head with a pendulum that would make Poe salivate, and getting my face ripped open by a demon. It's done now though, and I have successfully completed a game that has been on my radar for over 20 years but that I had just never sat down and given a fair shot.

It's quirky, bizarre, and at times problematic, which I will go into in the Games Beaten 2018 thread later after I get some rest. However, the verdict is that I did have a good time playing it. Now I need to think over my options and figure out what I may play next.

Also...Carno really had a thing for killing folks in unique ways in pretty much every room of his house. That dude was creative. Needs more murder though; he completely missed the bathroom.

The bathroom death is in phantasmagoria 2:Carnos electric boogaloo.

[J T]

Bogus don't tease them! You're making it sound like Phantasmagoria 2 has anything whatsoever to do with Phantasmagoria 1, when you know fully well it is a sequel in name only. We can only dream of Curtis in an electric boogaloo!

I found an old post I made about Phantasmagoria. and another from Phantasmagoria 2.


Also, Dennis Miller did an FMV thing for 3DO? Weird. I had no idea. I used to enjoy his old "rants" on SNL and his audiobook before he went off the deep end and became a weird conservative wonk. "That's News To Me" doesn't seem very interactive though. It sounds like even less of a game than Monty Python's "Complete Waste of Time". You have found some rare... not gems... but uh, I guess... rare lumps of coal, Ex?

[marurun]

I think coal is his goal. I am just trying to figure out if his final title will be a coup de grace to the genre with the worst title ever or a great title that serves as a redemptive example.

[Exhuminator]

It sounds like even less of a game than Monty Python's "Complete Waste of Time".

Did you know that Monty Python also released two rare "games" for the CD-i?:


Invasion From the Planet Skyron


More Naughty Bits

I thought about playing their PC release. But as much as I love Monty Python (btw I love Monty Python), I'm going to take them on face value when they say "Complete Waste of Time". So, nah.

You have found some rare... not gems... but uh, I guess... rare lumps of coal, Ex?

I think coal is his goal.

If that were the case, I'd have played this first:

Yes it has live actors in it. And dinos. SPACE DINOS

Gentlemen, I have been dutifully seeking enlightening experiences. Despite how erroneous my choices have been thus far, I hold onto hope. I have no doubt there are exemplary FMV games to play from the '90s. Surely there must be astounding FMV games which will shake one's paradigm to the core, breaking free the shackles of misbegotten genre-prejudice.

We have only just begun the second week of April. There's still weeks left for fellow TR members to carve their own path through the FMV jungle! Who knows what treasures they may find to show and tell? Meanwhile I await genre stalwarts like J T and Bogus to bring us to the promised land. I can't wait to vicariously experience the best of FMV games, via their detailed playthroughs of the apogees right here in this very thread. I'm very excited!

[J T]

Exhuminator, the reason you do not find the FMV enlightenment that you seek is because you seek it. There is a famous zen saying that states "To a man of satori, nothing happens." Enlightenment does not change reality, only how you relate to it. The famous zen master, D.T. Suzuki, who helped bring buddhism from the East to the West once famously described the experience of enlightenment as being "just like normal life, only two inches above the ground." If you clutch water with a fist, you will spill it. You must hold a space for it, and you must allow it to flow, or you have lost its essence. You must hold with a graspless grasp to walk through the gateless gate.

The key to FMV enlightenment is to let it be as it is. Release your expectations. It's not about finding something better, it's about finding better in what you have found. This is not a Together Retro for boasting about games beaten or classifying the ultimate example of the genre. It is for appreciating the innate perfection that exists in even such a flawed genre. Playing all of the FMV games in the world will not make one enlightened if one plays each game with the wrong approach. You already have all you need to be FMV enlightened if you will simply open up to it.

A man once approached a zen master to ask him about enlightenment. He explained to the master that he had read all of the most famous texts and listened to a great many talks from various masters around the world, and so he had climbed to the mountain top to learn from this glorious master as well. The master listened to the man while he poured tea. The master poured and poured until the cup was spilling over onto the floor. "Master!" the man exclaimed "You are pouring too much! It's spilling out of the cup and making a mess!" The master explained "I can teach you nothing. Your cup is too full." So you see, a cup is only useful if it is empty enough to be filled. Too many expectations, beliefs, and assumptions will only get in the way of your FMV enlightenment.

So it could take you 100 grainy video games to reach FMV enlightenment, or it could take you only half of one. But when you reach it, you will know. The gamer who attains FMV enlightenment by luncthime, can die happy by dinner. Or in the immortal words of Mr. Pottsdam from the game Harvester "Forget the pot roast, mother! Pot roast isn't for backstabbers. For persecutors! I won't share my meat with him!"

But if you keep expecting FMV or its enthusiasts to be something other than what they are, then all I can say is...

[Exhuminator]

If you clutch water with a fist, you will spill it.

One may choose to let the essence come as it merely flows, or one may choose to consciously direct that flow into the destiny they desire. I can clutch ice in my fist without spilling it.

Too many expectations, beliefs, and assumptions will only get in the way of your FMV enlightenment.

So let's say everyone clears their minds and hearts to a blank state going forward. To that extent, why don't you and Bogus make a top ten (or five even) list of FMV game examples you personally love? In which others may experience glorious FMV enlightenment? What were the games that made you personally become a lover of FMV? Such a catered list could be very useful for participants in this thread to reference.

if you keep expecting FMV or its enthusiasts to be something other than what they are, then all I can say is {get used to disappointment}

I appreciate the humor (and film reference), so no offense I promise, but that all sounds like a smarmy way of saying you have no intention of beating any games for this TR. I really hope that is not your intention. You and Bogus were strong advocates, proselytizers even, of this TR topic winning this months' theme. It is only right, in my opinion, that you both play and beat some FMV games which you two believe exemplify the merits of this genre. Lead us all by example.

[BogusMeatFactory]

I do not need to prove myself to you. Together retro, to me, is not about how many games you beat, but how you contribute to the thread and help raise other people's enthusiasm and ability to appreciate their games. I've beaten a vast majority of fmv games in the past. I have offered lists of great games to play as well as informative tools such as old magazines, podcasts and documentary series about the style.

I have taken my experiences and applied them to bringing up a more positive experience for others. I have real life responsibilities that make my free time extremely limited. It's been a week into the month.

I will continue to help others and encourage them along the path to having fun and enjoying some great games. Just because you made the decision to ignore my recommendations and choose the dullest of the dull does not in any way reflect poorly on the options available to others.

Just take a deep breath. It's gonna be alright.