What was the last movie you've seen?

[J T]

Yeah, Pennywise was way scarier as a dancing sewer clown. Leave the spiders from Mars to David Bowie.

[Fragems]

Just watched Green Room and it's definitely a great horror movie if you don't mind a little gore. Sucks that Anton Yelchin passed away he did a great job in this one. Didn't realize Patrick Stewart was in this he also did an awesome and I love how calm his character was the entire film really upped the creep factor.

[Ack]

Something tells me Ack has a high tolerance for movies.

You have no idea.



Future Kick

Yes, this ad is meant to make you think of Terminator. No, this movie is nowhere near as good.

In the future, rich people live on the moon and make video games, while on Earth the rest of us play death sports, evil corporations harvest our body parts at a rate of like 1 heart a day or something for no given reason, and there are strippers everywhere. You seriously can't turn a corner without bumping into a stripper. Also, there was a group of cyborgs built to be super cops by a corporation, but then they realized the corporate types were a bunch of douchebags, so the corporations killed them all...except for Don "The Dragon" Wilson.

When Meg Foster's husband gets killed while slumming it on Earth, she comes down to find out what happened and ends up getting involved as killer cyborgs fight it out and rip out hearts at the behest of corporations and one lone corrupt police captain...for some reason. Why a police precinct captain has sway over a major corporation, I have no idea. Anyway, Foster and super cyborg "The Dragon" end up teaming up to fight psycho heart-ripper and his cyborg buddy, Chris Penn, who apparently just likes to show up and help folks who rip out hearts. In a bunch of scenes that make no sense(but generally involve gratuitous amounts of strippers), they investigate and then fight it out.

But in the end, it turns out it's really all just a video game!

This movie...sucks.



Xtro II: The Second Encounter

The first Xtro was a gory alien-fest advertised as an anti-E.T. that managed to make it onto the dreaded Video Nasty list in the UK. Xtro 2 is a cheap and cheesy Aliens rip-off that only vaguely resembles the first movie. While previous events are referenced, said previous events didn't actually happen in the first Xtro, so I have no idea what in the hell anyone is talking about.

Basically a bunch of scientists create a portal to another world, but the first crew sent in all die except one. She comes back infected with the ugly alien, who then wrecks havoc on the facility. However, since people are smart, most everybody abandons the place at the first hint of trouble and put the facility on lockdown. That leaves us with our heroes: the people too stupid to get the hell out who are now trapped in with said ugly alien and facing a timetable for decontamination via flooding with radioactive material. By the end, nearly all of them have died, including that guy who totally played Krycek on the X-Files.

But the hippy soldier makes it. In fact he turns out to be the only interesting character, making weird ass comments about communion wafers and auras while making sandwiches. Thank goodness he's also one of the few survivors. I hated him at first and then realized he was the comic relief. Not bad for a guy who doesn't mind warfare because he believes in reincarnation.

Bottom line: I liked it more than Future Kick, but that isn't saying much. Come if you want to see the odd cheesy gore effect. Stay for the dark camera work and terrible soundtrack. Avoid if you want to watch something good.

[noiseredux]

references Alien & Predator on the poster? Sign me up.

[Ack]

Graveyard Disturbance

In the late 1980s, Lamberto Bava had a short-run series of made-for-TV movies called Brivido Giallo. Only 4 episodes were made: Graveyard Disturbance, Until Death, Dinner with a Vampire, and The Ogre. The Ogre may be the most notable due to its connection to the Demons series(The Ogre saw a release as Demons III in some regions) and because it was the first to be released in the US, in 2003. The rest of the series would take until 2009, though by now all four have arrived.

But this isn't about The Ogre, it's about Graveyard Disturbance, a tongue-in-cheek zombie movie about kids who rob a store and then get trapped out in the middle of nowhere when their totally rad airbrushed van gets stuck in a stream. They find a nearby tavern built into the side of a cemetery, where they are told a story that they can have a pile of jewelry and money if they are willing to spend the night in the crypts which may lead down into Hell. The kids, being morons, agree. How can I tell they are morons? Well, anyone who uses a massive van with the Heavy Metal movie poster airbrushed on the side as a getaway vehicle is probably not the brightest bulb in the box.

Anyway, they go into the crypt, and there they try to evade and avoid the variety of zombies, monsters, skeletons, and whatever else roams around. No, nobody dies. No, there is no sex, no nudity, no gore, nor really much of anything else. So what is there? Monster designs! That's really the only reason to watch, if you want to see Lucio Fulci-style critters in a PG setting. The most impressive of these in my opinion is revealed to be the Grim Reaper after he tears his face off to showcase a green skull for a face. In fact it was an image of Death's face that piqued my interest in the movie in the first place.

Graveyard Disturbance is pretty forgettable, but it served its purpose as a fun little taste of what I have coming up in October. Check it out if you're a Lamberto Bava fan.


Here's looking at you, kid.

[Xeogred]

Basic Instinct was pretty wild. Reminded me a bit of Gone Girl. I guess Hitchcock's Vertigo was a bit influence for stuff like this or something, I need to check that out.

For Paul Verhoeven, these ones I don't hear about everyday look pretty interesting...

http://letterboxd.com/film/black-book/
http://letterboxd.com/film/elle/
http://letterboxd.com/film/the-fourth-man/

Showgirls doesn't really seem interesting and I recall Hollow Man being terrible. Those must be his low points.

[noiseredux]

Vertigo is def my fav Hitchcock movie Xeo. Check it out for sure.

[Xeogred]

I've only seen North by Northwest so far due to a friends recommendation, it was awesome haha. Cary Grant was so cool and believable, I guess he himself didn't even really know where the movie was going but Hitchcock wanted that or something so it worked out. Overall sounds like Hitchcock is the godfather of mystery/thriller so yeah I'll probably like a lot of his stuff.

[Michi]

Showgirls doesn't really seem interesting and I recall Hollow Man being terrible. Those must be his low points.

I actually kind of like Hollow Man.

Not because it's good or anything. Probably more because it's not so good

[noiseredux]

Showgirls isn't "good." Its cult status is mostly due to the fact that it's basically a big budget Cinemax b-movie. It's worth seeing for the historical ridiculousness.

Robocop is the best, though. And I love Total Recall.