RAP BATTLE!!!

[Ziggy]

Also, you people are all killing it. Of course in the spirit of "Rap battle" I won't admit it in my rhymes.

I didn't wanna say anything for the same reason, but, a lot of these lines are making me laugh out loud!

[jp1]

I'm spittin first and gaming later.
I see those eyes rollin Exhuminator.
Roll eyes now, they'll exhume you later.
We're battling, I hate the game and the player!

Pull you out the coffin kid Dracula got.
My "cold stare" keep you choked up coughin' like some hash you bought.
Burn right through that stash you got.
Save the baggie, I'm baggin ya up.
I'm playing pool cuz I'm rackin' you up.
"Pity the fool!" Buzz cut smackin you up.
Steal your gold chains jackin' you up.

If we're gaming I'mma still outplay you.
There's no shame in it, you hit play and got ate by a gru.
My whole styles a mystery to you.
You're puzzled like Myst did to you.

Let's talk about staying power, I'm thinking like Dreamcast.
You've got CDI gaming power, a blink could outlast.
I am calling you out, but not to fight with.
I wanna play co-op, like "girl!" Key-Glyph.

EDIT: Just to clean up the tapatalk mess.

[Exhuminator]

put up your dukes son, you about to be mega done
I'm gonna nuke you harder than I nuked Megaton
I don't need crappy cheat codes to beat you
I'll hex edit your whack stacks and delete you

yo my flow like Framemeister, perfect and lossless
you a shamed shyster in the shadow of a colossus
ya sappy raps so weak they even make Tingle cringe
ya jabs flabby like a dudebro on a Pringles binge

say you a gamer but I know you just pretend yo
da kinda lamer with an iPhone and what, Nintendo?
yo go sleep with Cookin' Mama and choke on 'er lunch
keep steppin' weak I'm gonna bust a falcon punch

hardest hardcore gamer from hard town that's me
every step I take on a 'tard clown leaves a platinum trophy
Mario, Kratos, and Master Chief stare aghast at my thumbs
so if you gotta go fast then come get some

I'm an import roguelike, brutal impossible
you a suicidal Bob-omb, cute while tossable
I'll throw yo static in da trash with no hurdle just joy
while the masses forget ya ass faster than Virtual Boy

[Key-Glyph]

I am seriously loving all of this too, and wanted to drop some props on my favorite rhymes so far:

Ziggy 587

Life's not fair and it's not always pretty
Gotta pour one for my homies Breetai and Snow Kitty

Exhuminator

word up up down down left right aight stop
no cheatin' when I'm beatin' games till they drop
no walkthroughs no guides I keep it real
when you sleepin' I'm creepin' through another King's Field

when I press start, it's ready player WON
game over, all your friends dead son

I'm an import roguelike, brutal impossible
you a suicidal Bob-omb, cute while tossable

jp1

Smash a brick with my head and sit on an axe.
I'm winning the game...and that's while I relax.

I'm gonna put the games aside for a minute, don't worry.
We'll come around and get back in it, let's discuss your furby.

JT

I'm the lyrical master, rap megamix sensei
I got a magical Persona like Shin Megami Tensei

Y'all wish you were me, and all the ladies wanna get this
I slide in my long piece, and I give em a Tetris

One two three four five six seven eight nine
No other controller's got as many buttons as mine

TSTR

Auto-auto always on and there's no debate
Got my rapidfire rhymes burnin up your savestate

[jp1]

River City Ransom beat, beat you to the punch.
Stone hands and dragon feet, eatin sushi for lunch.
I Grand Slam your bar, then hang with my "PYT".
Man you're cannon fodder, get some new "DLC"

I'm like virtual boy cause I'm seeing red.
I'm likely to hurt you Ole boy, you might wind up dead.
Not really, I'm playing unless we got controllers in hand.
Boondock killing while praying, I roll up like MacManus.

I got that "3DO" full motion video flow.
That shit gets ugly sometimes but you still love the show.
I don't know how you can call yourself retro.
You game on a television, I'm gaming with dice "bro".

I was busy gaming before "graphics" were a thing.
Incidentally I'm framing "static" so it clings.
Evidently the slate of gaming is erratic that I bring.
Consequently my rate of shaming your rhetoric stings.

Your about as genuine as Rice-a-roni homeboy.
Callin out a gentleman and chastise him a phony, Sorry, "no joy!"
The only thing that's phony is you with candy crush.
Keep playing on that phone "B" real games are just too much.

[J T]

I get my kicks from cuttin' moves with super turbo kung fu
Step to the sticks and buttons. Let's play Street Fighter II!
Player Select: lemme guess... you're gonna be Ryu or Ken
You know there's other choices, right? Yet you pick 'em again and again.
You're so damn predictable; your moves are all played out
You can even pick my character and I'll still knock you out
"Play Dhalsim!" you laugh "His slowness is bound to annoy you!"
Never underestimate me. I will meditate and destroy you.
"Round One.... Fight!"
As expected, you turtle in the back like a fireball machine
But what!? My stretched foot kicks your face from across the screen
You cry "NO FAIR! Those long legs are so cheap and so lame!"
Fine. Step a little closer bitch. HA HA! "YOGA FLAME!"
"Round Two.... Fight!"
You shoot projectiles again, but you're too close for the attack
I slide underneath the fire and plant you flat on your back
Aw, you poor baby gamers scamper in your Pampers and Huggies
Here's one to grow on: Can't block the headlock yoga nuggies!
You go on the offensive, tryin' to get in close for a throw
But I hit you with a headbutt double bump "K.O!"
You accuse me of cheating and demand a "rematch"
Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile: I'll beat you with the whole batch
I start off playing nice saying "Hello. How do you do, Ken?"
But then I hit ya with the quarter circle forward "HADOKEN!"
Ya think you can jumpkick me, but I'm not sure ya can
When I forward down diagonal punch "SHORYUKEN!"
With Blanka I'll shock ya and bite ya because I'm gnarly
You'll miss the thrill of winning, more than Guile misses Charlie
You leap my Sonic Boom, but Flash Kicks were always my plan
You've met your doom, boy "Go home and be a family man"
I break more players than Honda's ass breaks chairs
Hundred hand slap your face 'til your nose needs repairs
As Zangief, I wrestle bears and come home the survivor
I slam down health bars with my spinning pile drivers
It's your last quarter, with mercy I'll give you an honorable way to die
Somersault to a handstand: crush your head in Chun Li's thighs
You tried real hard, you tried to come correct
But did you hear what the announcer said to me? "Perfect!"
Your skills are so tired it's like you O.D.'d on ambien
But I don't mind being the World Warrior champion
I just wish I had a worthy opponent to brawl
Guess I'll just keep practicing uppercuttin' waterfalls

[jp1]

I am seriously loving all of this too, and wanted to drop some props on my favorite rhymes so far:

Ziggy 587

Life's not fair and it's not always pretty
Gotta pour one for my homies Breetai and Snow Kitty

Exhuminator

word up up down down left right aight stop
no cheatin' when I'm beatin' games till they drop
no walkthroughs no guides I keep it real
when you sleepin' I'm creepin' through another King's Field

when I press start, it's ready player WON
game over, all your friends dead son

I'm an import roguelike, brutal impossible
you a suicidal Bob-omb, cute while tossable

jp1

Smash a brick with my head and sit on an axe.
I'm winning the game...and that's while I relax.

I'm gonna put the games aside for a minute, don't worry.
We'll come around and get back in it, let's discuss your furby.

JT

I'm the lyrical master, rap megamix sensei
I got a magical Persona like Shin Megami Tensei

Y'all wish you were me, and all the ladies wanna get this
I slide in my long piece, and I give em a Tetris

One two three four five six seven eight nine
No other controller's got as many buttons as mine

EDIT: And damn! That whole last post. Amazing dude.

TSTR

Auto-auto always on and there's no debate
Got my rapidfire rhymes burnin up your savestate

Some of my favorites:

Ziggy
Ya never really know what this forum may bring
Henrygrik came here to learn new thing

You spit out words and think you can win
Ima bout to bust you up with my Hadouken
Take it like a man and don't make a fuss
I want you to know that all your base belong to us

JT
You tired emcees need to WAKE UP
and hit the coffee maker
Here comes JT to BREAK UP
stale flows with a "C-C-C-Combo Breaker!"

I'm the lyrical master, rap megamix sensei
I got a magical Persona like Shin Megami Tensei*

*had to give this a nod as well, so sick!

My Vic Viper hits a "speed up" and I start to soar
As I shoot the core, and get the HIGHSCORE!
Y'all came to battle, but weren't prepared for war
Me? Son, I brought a BFG 9000, a rail gun, and a cerebral bore

Exhuminator

Damn near every verse. But here are a few standouts.

steppin' up to the mic like 8-bit Tyson
boxing beats rough like Alpha 3 Bison
reppin' stuff hardcore like Contra on the Genny
outfoxin' you casuals 'cause I'm sick like The Many

stayin' retro when this boy make a racket
with a hatchet 'cause you suckas can't even hack it
playin' modern time games ya'll sorry like Jaguar Atari
bits aged like fine wine's only how I dine mine when I'm

put up your dukes son, you about to be mega done
I'm gonna nuke you harder than I nuked Megaton
I don't need crappy cheat codes to beat you
I'll hex edit your whack stacks and delete you

Key-Glyph

Also amazing, multi-syllabic the whole way through. Within bars and across them, did you write this off the top of your head? Pen and paper?

So what's the KeyGlyph manual sayin'?
What's the backstory how I got playin'?
Well it started with my brother's birthdayin'
in 1990 when all boy kids were gamin'.

Now scroll to the right, and there's Key.
mostly list'ning and watching intently.
She's four years old when she meets that NES,
intrigued, yes, but not expressly impressed.

Now I'm thirty and I have even more fun.
I'm crushin' hard stacks of games like they're Columns.
I'm munchin' black forest cake for the science.
I'm sportin' all the service medals they've got in the Alliance.
Think it's dangerous to go on alone?
Stick by me; I'll getcha outta this Comix Zone.
Every pixel villain better beware;
I'm like Samus, kicking asses with my super-long hair.

TSTR
No lag when I blast if you could not tell
Checkpoint on yo ass, gonna ring yo bell
Cuz y'alls Rated E rhymes bout weak as hell
With all the shit y'all talk I'm surprised it don't smell

Round here in the forums of the R to the B
Where I AM John Cena bitch YOU CAN'T SEE ME
Bout to put y'all boys down in just 1-2-3
Speedrun over y'all—I'm the turbo MC

[Key-Glyph]

J T:

You're so damn predictable; your moves are all played out
You can even pick my character and I'll still knock you out
"Play Dhalsim!" you laugh "His slowness is bound to annoy you!"
Never underestimate me. I will meditate and destroy you.



PREACH

[J T]

[Exhuminator]

Exhuminator is the greatest of the great
an Amazing Tater and there's no debate
my flow's pure precision no blunt incisions
a lyrical logician's successful Front Mission

yo my Primal Rage will leave the mic smoking
rivals fade till they heave and die choking
firefighters come hard and bring they FLUDD
'cause I'm like Charizard when I'm out for blood

wanna beat my rhymes best keep up the grind
can't reach my level but I'll watch ya climb
I'll tear you down 'cause that's what I do
my skill's a rarer thing than Cryo's Salammbô

with delicious vicious complexity I'm too hard
pernicious malicious perplexity like Cave Noire
yo that's a game you ain't ever even played
so stay fake while you drank your Fool-Aid

I'll fry you alive with Ken's flamin' uppercut
rhymes so fly they slay like Tonberry's butter butt
whoa he meant to say knife wow he got distracted
yo DJ scratch that last sound bite it's redacted

my foes like Wii U on life support it's not scary
pull the plug file the obituary get buried
confess you a mess Ex left a wreck see kid?
rest best hit the deck or suffer like G did