racketboy.com

(Copy paste from exact thread I just posted on Assembler games)

I don't mean feeling sad about something. I mean depression so bad it messes with your sensory input and memory your perception of time is completely messed up. Basically FULL on Clinical depression.

Today so far has been the first normal day I've had since Late August where everything I did just fit together to form a total picture of what a day is. So I'm pretty sure I'm either over it or almost over it.
I've had to deal with a clueless therapist who looked like Ursula from the Little Mermaid, I was put on Lexapro which I'm pretty sure almost killed me. That and all the Crap I was self medicating with. You ever see Totoro on Melatonin? I have it was not a pleasant experience.

Anyways the effect it had on me gaming was an odd one.

I got a Mega Everdrive X7 thinking it would knock me out of this...it didn't I was a bit over whelmed by all the games presented to me and nothing I was playing really broke through.

Dragon Ball Fighter Z was something I could play but I wasn't getting the most out of it, The damage done to my attention span didn't make getting how it played down all that well, Most fights seemed to be shorter than they really were.

Very early on in depression I got Guardian Heroes, I couldn't even play it. (and it came with the spine card taped to the case, I'd have raised more hell about that in my right mind)

Axelay I always sucked at, while depressed, I sucked at it even more.

Vampire Savior on Saturn, I actually learned a few things about how the game played I never knew but a session felt like 5 seconds and I beat the game twice with Morrigan and BB Hood.

Mega Man 11 over loaded my senses and I could not enjoy it at all, the Demo hit pretty early in my depressed state so I had gotten familiar with Block Man's stage, but Going through it was nearly impossible. I played it on the 2nd difficulty and found it way too easy. So I blasted through it in an afternoon which again seemed like a much shorter time span. I restarted on Normal, beat Block Man Sunday morning and in my Lexapro haze, I forgot to save so when I picked it back up thinking Great I NEVER have to do Block man again (which I will as I will play the hell out of this game) I just beat Block man about an hour ago (while typing this) I'm playing it mostly in Handheld mode on Swtich since I kicked myself out of my apartment.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest was HARD to get through I maxed out my rank and leveled up a few times, but last Tuesday I reached level 34 and felt nothing. I find it impossible to be sad playing Splatoon but just playing the game was very difficult as I couldn't focus and with my altered perception of time 3 minutes either felt longer or shorter while experiencing it. I did gain a love for Splatzones though.

And finally the kicker. Depression made me decent at Donkey Kong ALL my highest scores ever were while I was depressed, My current high Score is 35,100. I hope to get up to around 100k at some point. I don't know if my skills will transfer over to a normalish state.

I thought somebody might find this interesting. I haven't even touched Fist of the North Star Lost Paradise yet. I want to be 1000% when I play that. While depressed I already felt like my head was going to explode and that I was Already dead.

I like comfort games when I’m depressed - games I’ve played a thousand times before. They’re not terribly challenging; they’re just comfortable like an old sweater.

For me it’s Sonic the hedgehog 2, Streets of Rage 2, or Super Mario Bros. For other people it might be Ocarina of Time or 1942.

I’m not saying that these games make me less depressed; I’m just saying that’s what I play when I’m already depressed anyway.

Playing games in that state is not the greatest idea. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but look at a few outdoors activities, get moving, see the sun. Get a spray of the good chemicals on your brain before trying on any more games.

jfrost wrote:Playing games in that state is not the greatest idea. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but look at a few outdoors activities, get moving, see the sun. Get a spray of the good chemicals on your brain before trying on any more games.

You aren't wrong.

samsonlonghair wrote:I like comfort games when I’m depressed - games I’ve played a thousand times before. They’re not terribly challenging; they’re just comfortable like an old sweater.

For me it’s Sonic the hedgehog 2, Streets of Rage 2, or Super Mario Bros. For other people it might be Ocarina of Time or 1942.

I’m not saying that these games make me less depressed; I’m just saying that’s what I play when I’m already depressed anyway.

I think my depression was chemical, I'm probably deficient in something and I just made it worse with medication.

So I don't have to detail everything again, here's the Assembler thread.
https://assemblergames.com/threads/gami ... ost-979044

It was a giant black hole for me... added a bunch of stress from a variety of sources, such as total immersion, OCD levels trying to 100% everything, OCD levels increased more by the collecting side of things, general feeling of being overwhelmed. So I just stopped and did some other stuff for a while.

I'm back now as I think I have better self control. We'll see though lol

Curlypaul wrote:It was a giant black hole for me... added a bunch of stress from a variety of sources, such as total immersion, OCD levels trying to 100% everything, OCD levels increased more by the collecting side of things, general feeling of being overwhelmed. So I just stopped and did some other stuff for a while.

I'm back now as I think I have better self control. We'll see though lol

I can relate. Though not OCD with game completion but OCD with what I was experiencing and that probably dragged it out a good 2-3 weeks longer.

In the assembler thread somebody suggested playing a long ass RPG. So I picked up Xenoblade Saga 2 yesterday and last night ordered The expansion prequel. I'm going to play those and see how I feel at the end.

If I ever reach it.