RPG Progress Report

[Exhuminator]

Thanks Ack. Any particular reason you played the game on mute? Are the sound effects horrible or something?

[prfsnl_gmr]

You kids are so cute with your fifteen-hour RPGs. I am 14 hours into DQVII, and I haven't even reached the job system yet. (That said, the game is ridiculously easy so far; so, I can't exactly say that DQVII is the most challenging game.)

[BoneSnapDeez]

Glad you're playing on a handheld?

[prfsnl_gmr]

Glad you're playing on a handheld?

Yep. This one's going to take a while! (It's really fun, BTW, and the remake plays very similarly to DQIX, one of my very favorite RPGs.)

We still haven't set up a TV in our new house yet, but with "horror movie month" coming up, I don't think we can take it much longer. (It is hard for more than one person to watch a movie on an iPad.) Accordingly, I will make a temporary television set up tonight. It will have to suffice until I have my dedicated video game room.

[Exhuminator]

Yeah moving sucks, I feel your pain. I've spent four nights just packing my dork cave up, and I haven't even gotten to the closet yet. I dread having to re-setup all this stuff again in the next dork cave. I just tell myself "well this time it can be smarter/better" to make it seem worth the trouble.

[MrPopo]

I believe the SNES port utilizes the SNES mouse.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_NES_Mouse

It does not. But Might & Magic III does.

[Ack]

Thanks Ack. Any particular reason you played the game on mute? Are the sound effects horrible or something?

No, nothing like that. I was just playing in the same room while my girlfriend was watching television. It was a courtesy choice.

[Ack]

Eye of the Beholder II

A preface:

When I first ported over my party from EotB to the sequel, I discovered I could bring along any of the six party members I had used to take on the Beholder. That meant I could easily keep the cleric I had struggled to find, but it would be at the expense of one of my named party members. I flirted briefly with the idea of using a hex editor to modify said cleric's name, gender, and portrait to take the place of the lost forum member but then shook my head and struck the thought from my mind. No, I had picked four ne'er-do-wells, and I would keep them, consequences and sanity be damned! With that in mind, I selected Ack, Bone, Exhum, and Noise to continue on in the journey...and I already regret it.

The adventure begins...

==================================================================================

It was a night of heavy drinking in Waterdeep. The beholder was dead, the party had escaped the ruins below, and the townspeople had joyously offered up their coffers. Ack, Bone, Exhum, and Noise ate and drank like kings in the local tavern on everything they could get their grubby hands on. The sight of their feasting was enough to drive even the most hardened barkeep to the back alley to vomit.

Unfortunately the revelry was not to last. While in the midst of a competition attempting to urinate into a beer mug across the room, a messenger arrived, summoning our four heroes to the home of Khelben "Blackstaff" Arunsun, Archmage of Waterdeep. Drunkenly the four stumbled bravely onward to his home, where he met the party in his private chambers.

"I fear a new threat encroaches on Waterdeep," Khelben warned. "Something is amiss in the Temple of Darkmoon, and the spy I have sent is missing. The journey will be most perilous, plagued by pain, torture, and death. There will be incredible hardship. I...why are you salivating on my carpet?"

"Will there be blood?" Ack asked, a crazed gleam in his eye.

"Uh...yes, most assuredly, Warrior Ack," the wizard replied.

"Will there be heathens to convert to the great god of Ys?" Bone questioned as he held up a holy symbol of ancient excellent PC RPG bump gameplay.

"Uh, why, of course, Brother Bone."

"And bosoms?" The short Exhum grinned lustily and licked his lips.

"I don't know, maybe?"

"Uh, pain? That sounds kinda scary guys. Do I have to go?" Noise whined.

"YES!" The other three barked in unison.

"Fine," Noise declared with a whimper.

"Ugh, let's just get on with it," Khelben grimaced and rubbed his forehead. He waved his arms in the air and cast a magic spell which teleported the four. As soon as they vanished in a flash of light, he turned to his waiting butler. "I really hope those four die this time."

-----------------------------------------

With a sudden flash and an offending odor of magic, Ack, Bone, Exhum, and Noise appeared in the forest near Darkmoon Temple. The four took a moment to dust themselves off and look about when suddenly a dire wolf set upon them! The wolf crouched and suddenly sprang, teeth ready, claws extended, ready for the kill! Just as soon as it leapt-

Ack grabbed it in mid-air by the face and shoved it to the ground. Ack shouted, "Kill! Kill! Kill!" as he punched. Bone jumped onto the wolf and beat it with his holy symbol. "Ys! Ys! Ys!" Exhum laughed and threw himself at the wolf, swinging his small halfling fists wildly. "Tits! Tits! Tits!" Noise collapsed in a quivering heap and urinated on himself with fear.

Now covered in the forest dirt and blood of the wolf(and Noise in his own urine), the four rose from the dirt and marched bravely onward towards the temple. An old crone appeared suddenly from the underbrush to welcome them, but the sight of the four heroes(not to mention the smell) was enough to send her scurrying off into the underbrush.

"I smell a conversion!" Bone roared. The party rushed after the old woman, only to discover the entrance to the Temple of Darkmoon. They stood outside a moment to bask in its unholy majesty.

"G-g-guys, do we have to go in?" Noise whispered.

"YES!" the other three shouted, and they grabbed Noise by his collar and threw him through the doorway.

Inside, the four were met by a pair of glassy-eyed grinning clerics. "Welcome to our perfect Darkmoon Temple of happiness and love. We're not an evil cult," the male cleric declared.

"Oh no, not a cult at all!" The female cleric said.

"Welcome to our Temple. We hope you stay a while. It's such a happy place," the male cleric said.

"Oh yes, so happy," the female cleric said.

"We're going to murder a lot of clerics this time," Ack muttered.

-----------------------------------------

And with that, our brief intro concludes. Tune in next time to find out: just whose blood is that crusted on Ack's armor? Will Bone unlock the secrets of the mysterious moon language of his ancient god? Will Exhum finally make it with the half-orc woman of his dreams? Will Noise ever be useful?

Find out next time on EYE OF THE BEHOLDER II: THE LEGEND OF DARKMOON!

[noiseredux]

When I first ported over my party from EotB to the sequel, I discovered I could bring along any of the six party members I had used to take on the Beholder. That meant I could easily keep the cleric I had struggled to find, but it would be at the expense of one of my named party members. I flirted briefly with the idea of using a hex editor to modify said cleric's name, gender, and portrait to take the place of the lost forum member but then shook my head and struck the thought from my mind. No, I had picked four ne'er-do-wells, and I would keep them, consequences and sanity be damned! With that in mind, I selected Ack, Bone, Exhum, and Noise to continue on in the journey...and I already regret it.

I admire your loyalty.

Will Noise ever be useful?

Doubtful.

[BoneSnapDeez]

I'm a bit sick at the moment but that post brightened my day, Ack.