As an adult player, why did you not "grow out of gaming"?

[o.pwuaioc]

This is mere speculation, but I wonder if it didn't have something to do with Japanese perceptions of video games v. more Western ones? "Kawaii" culture was in full swing by then, perhaps there was some influence that transferred over?

That may have worked back then, but I think the opposite is true these days...

And yet, on the flip side: http://foreignpolicy.com/2016/07/18/wha ... in-common/

[ElkinFencer10]

Since I can't read that without signing in to a subscribed account, I'm going to assume that it said something along the lines of "Pokémon and anime and Japanese shit is cute and colorful and kiddy," but I'd be willing to bet (note that I'm just guessing with no statistics to back this up) that with video games in the last 7 or 8 years, things that are super Japanese/anime and get released in the West are ecchi if not only-barely censored hentai (which is exactly why I love my Vita so much).

[o.pwuaioc]

Since I can't read that without signing in to a subscribed account, I'm going to assume that it said something along the lines of "Pokémon and anime and Japanese shit is cute and colorful and kiddy," but I'd be willing to bet (note that I'm just guessing with no statistics to back this up) that with video games in the last 7 or 8 years, things that are super Japanese/anime and get released in the West are ecchi if not only-barely censored hentai (which is exactly why I love my Vita so much).

It actually says that kawaii-culture was born out of the natural youthful desire to prolong adolescence and rebel against the strictures of adulthood, similar to punk's emergence in UK and the US.

Kawaii culture was not always so mainstream, however. It emerged as a schoolgirl rebellion in the 1970s, Japan’s corollary to British punk culture. Teenage girls adopted childish handwriting and baby-speak and wore cutesy clothing as a way of disobeying their teachers’ ― and wider society’s ― will to mold them into responsible, mature, and serious adults, according to anthropologist Sharon Kinsella.

Unlike Western teenagers, who usually rebel by adopting attitudes and habits beyond their years ― smoking, drinking, piercings, and tattoos ― to try to break away from parental and societal authority, Japanese teenagers acted like children to postpone the bleakness of adulthood and its accompanying stresses and remain in a Peter Pan-like idyll forever.

What started as rebellion, however, has now become the status quo. Japan has come a long way from the early tentative efforts by companies like Sanrio, the maker of Hello Kitty, to sell pencil cases decorated with bug-eyed frogs. Kawaii has turned into a society-wide embrace of the cute aesthetic in practically all situations. Japan now even prints cartoon bunnies on reminders for cancer screenings, tsunami warnings, and insurance brochures.

She does go over some positive aspects, and it's not at all placed in a "Japanese are the only weirdos to do X" you see so prevalent in the media, but the main point was that it has some harmful effects, too:

But there are negative aspects of kawaii, too. The feel-good, happy hormones cute things trigger can overwhelm other, more rational thoughts and feelings.

...

The other problem with kawaii is that it has a tendency to dumb things down, obscuring serious issues and threats. Much like the Puss in Boots character from the Shrek films, a hired assassin who lulls his enemies into a false sense of security by adopting an innocent, wide-eyed expression, kawaii can obscure or neutralize dangerous and upsetting elements of reality. In Tokyo, for example, the police force’s kawaii mascot, Pipo-kun, masks the menacing aspect of law enforcement. A cutesy cartoon of lung cancer hides the ugly reality of blackened organs, reducing motivations to quit. At the strange historical juncture we find ourselves at, Pokémon Go may be a glorious escapist trip into a layer beyond the reality of race politics, the prospect of increasing terrorism overseas, and a tense presidential race, but it may also steal us away from actual problems that require our attention.

She shoehorned too much irrelevance at the end, but there's the gist.

[Forlorn Drifter]

Hmm, I don't know if I'm old enough to count as an adult player, (almost 21) but I'll weigh in anyways, as y'all can just ignore me.

Looking at it, I had a time when I was pretty much ready to get out of gaming. I think it was a about half way through the 360/PS3 gen, and I was around 12 or 13 (or my memory is failing me and I was younger). Much of that was peer pressure, but also because that echo of "you are wasting your time" was hitting me. So, for a time, I did quit... to find I had nothing else to fill the time with besides books and TV, which is what most of my leisure time alone consisted of besides gaming. At that point, I figured it wasn't doing me any harm, and I wasn't attracting girls anyways, so why did it matter?

As of now, I probably game more than I ever have. Though, that echo is still there. I do feel like there is better things I could do with my time, but as to what, I really have no idea. Besides getting a job, there isn't much else to do at college besides socialize and study, and since I'm terrible at socializing and studying isn't an everyday thing for me, I game. It still bothers me though, and I haven't ever been able to shake the feeling.

And while I've already seen the idea railed against here (Xeogred, I believe), I do worry about how it might affect my dating life- with the circles I run in, and the types of girls I tend to to like, gaming isn't exactly a hobby they would list as wanting their partner to have. Mix that with the amount of time I spend gaming, and it gets even rougher. That's the other echo in my head, about the same level as the other for me.

[Exhuminator]

If you're trying to date someone, and they aren't into video games, then you simply don't go on and on about video games. It'd be just as annoying if you were hardcore into Spanish galleons and that's all you wanted to discuss. So you find some common ground interests, and talk about that. You ask her tons of questions about herself and figure out what she likes, and talk about that. It's not rocket science. Granted, if a girl walks into your place and it's wall to wall gaming paraphernalia, she's gonna think there's an unhealthy obsession going on, and possibly be intimidated by that. And she'd be right.

I've had more than a few relationships, and none of those girls ever had a problem with my gaming (rather my temper, OCD, and control freak nature). Even my wife who was not a gamer when I met her, never gave me crap about it. The most she's ever said negative is "I'm glad you keep all that stuff in there", meaning I keep all my gaming stuff in the dork cave. But she's never, not even once, given me shit about playing games, neither did any of the other women I dated. Probably because I always made a point of spending quality time with them, instead of spending all my free time just playing games and expecting them to just sit there and be OK with that.

[MrPopo]

You're not going to be into everything your romantic partner is into, and that goes both ways. A quality person will see a hobby you enjoy that they aren't necessarily into and be ok with it as long as it doesn't impact the quality of the relationship. But for others it just might be a dealbreaker for whatever reason. So you move on and find someone else. Turns out there's over 3 billion women out there.

[Tanooki]

I never grew out of it, and I think the fact is I've done it so long I'm used to it, it's just a part of life. While my motivation is largely shot on it the last couple of years over old game shenanigans and new to market stuff feels like prettier last gen stuff so it's mostly boring I still play. I just fill many hours with other stuff too so it gets a back seat, but not boxed away. When I find something fun I do it, when I do not, it kind of gets ignored until the mood hits.

[marurun]

There are statistically more women on earth than men. Just putting that out there.

OK, with a quick look, I'm wrong. Birth rate is believed to be 107 women vs 100 men, but because of some particular types of annoying cultural BS, actual final population across the world is 101 men to 100 women.

[Xeogred]

If you're trying to date someone, and they aren't into video games, then you simply don't go on and on about video games. It'd be just as annoying if you were hardcore into Spanish galleons and that's all you wanted to discuss. So you find some common ground interests, and talk about that. You ask her tons of questions about herself and figure out what she likes, and talk about that. It's not rocket science. Granted, if a girl walks into your place and it's wall to wall gaming paraphernalia, she's gonna think there's an unhealthy obsession going on, and possibly be intimidated by that. And she'd be right.

I've had more than a few relationships, and none of those girls ever had a problem with my gaming (rather my temper, OCD, and control freak nature). Even my wife who was not a gamer when I met her, never gave me crap about it. The most she's ever said negative is "I'm glad you keep all that stuff in there", meaning I keep all my gaming stuff in the dork cave. But she's never, not even once, given me shit about playing games, neither did any of the other women I dated. Probably because I always made a point of spending quality time with them, instead of spending all my free time just playing games and expecting them to just sit there and be OK with that.

Not sure if this was directed at me, but it's defintily all in moderation. And when I say gaming posters up on the walls in the living room / kitchen, it's only about four. Only have one big shelf of games. So it's not smothering. You can tell I'm a gamer when you walk in, but you're not going to be drowning and overwhelmed by it.

And yeah to what Popo said above. Frankly I'd rather find someone that has different interests and hobbies and she can do her own thing at times. That would be more appealing and interesting to me, while there's a middle ground somewhere with some connections obviously. Someone that's just a point for point copy of your likes and dislikes to me sounds boring and creepy.

[Exhuminator]

Someone that's just a point for point copy of your likes and dislikes to me sounds boring and creepy.

You're right about that. One woman I dated was a hardcore gamer and a hardcore anime fanatic. (I mean this girl had a modded Saturn, just for starters.) Turns out having common hobbies is the least important part of a romantic relationship. Seems obvious now, but back then I hadn't learned that yet.