What Made you Smile/What Ticked you off Today?

[Ziggy]

I have known many people that have relocated, and many people that wish to relocate. Myself included.

Just curious Ziggy, where would you prefer to move to? Many of my friends and family that I grew up around have also left NY. Some went to CT, others down to the Carolinas, Virginia, and Florida. For most people I know, it was either a financial decision or work related.

My sister and her husband will also be moving down to Virginia in the fall (due to a job opportunity for her husband), and my mom might potentially go there with them. Will be weird not having my family in the area.

I don't have a preference at this point, not exactly anyway. Just the desire to relocate, but not a particular place that I want to relocate to. My current feelings are that there are 49 other states in this country. Why limit myself to NY just because I was born here? There might be worse places to live, but there are certainly better places. In terms of people's attitudes, cost of living, traffic, etc. There's a few places that I have researched a bit and sound great. I'm not very fussy about the where, to an extent.

I have friends and acquaintances that have relocated, and I haven't met a person yet that regrets it. Rather the opposite. Most of them say something to the effect of "I should have done this sooner." I have one friend that moved to Florida, and loved it, but moved back here for a friend/family network that him and his wife were missing, but otherwise loved it in Florida. And that's pretty much what's keeping most of my friends and family here. All of THEIR friends and family are here.

But yeah, I know multiple people that have moved to NC from here. That's a popular state for sure. One of them being one of my long time and best friends. I've had long conversations with her about it, and she has zero regrets and loves it down there. And when she comes back to visit, she tells me as soon as she's on the LIE she's reminded of how awful people here are. And she knows plenty of people where's she at that were former NY residents.

And I'm not saying there no desirable reasons to live in NYC or LI. Just for me, the cons have come to vastly outweigh the pros. It seems I'm not alone in that.

@Ziggy587 so basically it's possible, regardless of difficulty, to find a potential friend or casual acquaintance at a place where people with a certain interest are logically likely to gather?

At this point even just one potentially jerkass cashier at a comic book store is better than my current chances NOT living in a town with a comic book store.

God knows I've considered opening a comic book store but all the best places get snatched up and turned into something we've got plenty of in this town. And I'd host MtG games, tabletop gaming events and if I had a screening room I'd show some of the weird cult films I'd sell.

What about finding fellow film buffs at film screenings? God knows I would have LOVED to gone to the screening of the 4K restoration of The Doom Generation in NYC. I might have gotten my Criterion-style cover printed and framed if getting it autographed or even just giving it to Gregg Araki was an option. Thankfully it's on The Criterion Channel.

Yes, it's possible. If that's all you want to hear.

I mean, whatever dude. If NYC is some dream you have, I'd hate to crush that for you. I'm just warning you, if you ever actually managed to get yourself there, it's not going to be the candies and roses that you seem to think it will be. Potentially meeting a friend at a film screening will not outweigh the misery you will have here. I'm giving you advice as a person that has grown up here. You don't want to take the advice of a born and raised local? Fine, no skin off my teeth. Just know that there are tons of people fleeing the city to LI, and tons of people fleeing the city and LI to other states.

Funny enough, I actually struck up a conversation with the counter guy at a local musical instrument shop. It was a small shop early on a weekday, so no one else was in there. I ended up chatting with him for about an hour. But that is so untypical. I'm not exaggerating. It's not that I don't go to places of interest, of which I have many. It's just more often than not you're going to meet total jerks than people that are interested in being friends with you. Or even giving you the time of day. And what you call the total jerk, we call an average New Yorker.

DAMMIT, that guy is too close, I guess I HAVE to hold the door for him. FUCK, they said THANK YOU? I'll just grunt at them! That motherfucker put his blinker on to change lanes? Well I can't have that, better speed up so he can't get in! Oh shit, that guy behind me changed lanes and passed me on the left?! Even though I was content with my speed, I'll have to speed up to show that guy he isn't better than me! (My fellow New Yorkers will understand this completely)

You're not going to magically find that spot because you're in New York, or because you're going places. You have to try.

That's basically the point I was trying to make in my last post. Just because you share an interest with someone doesn't mean you will automatically be friends. And this is New York. Assholes can also like movies, comics, etc. And you know where you can find a huge concentration of assholes? New York!

[bmoc]

For what it is worth, I found it easier to make new friends in the sticks of western NC than where I currently reside which has a considerably larger population. There is just more competition for people's free time where I am now. More people were willing to come over and play board games, have a cookout, or play couch co-op video games because there just wasn't much else to do in rural NC. I can confirm that moving to a bigger city does not necessarily mean more friends. D&D seems popular here so I am giving that a go with work friends. D&D has never been my thing but I'm willing to give it a shot to expand my own horizons and possibly recruit people for my interests as well. Sometimes you have to look outside your comfort zone and put yourself out there.

[marurun]

So I looked at a map. You have a na Al base right there at Virginia Beach. While military folks are somewhat self-selecting, you can bet with a base there there’s at least a couple nerds about. Try visiting businesses just off-base, places like coffee shops. Or hell, skip the base and hang out in coffee shops. Check on-line message boards for local groups. That way you can find people with interests without having to stumble into them.

It’s only impossible if you continue to do nothing.

[Ziggy]

While military folks are somewhat self-selecting, you can bet with a base there there’s at least a couple nerds about.

So just to agree with you, and to further my point about people I know that have ditched NY...

I had a friend here that I would have considered a good friend of mine. He wasn't satisfied with his life, and ended up joining the Army. I forget exactly where he did basic training, but it was South of here. Arizona maybe? I forget. Point is, he's a total nerd. My other friends and I were pretty sure he has Asperger's. So it could be challenging to talk to him at times, or about certain things. But a really nice guy, and a good friend. We nerded out over video games and such. And he was into much nerdier things than I, like Warhammer.

Point is, this is a real life person that you could have found outside an Army base. And this is a real life person that was born and raised on LI, and left.

[PretentiousHipster]

You wanna make friends? Go to the bar, or whatever your preferred local spot is. Find one you like and hang out there.

I have been chatting for a while with someone I met on an app as a friend. Hopefully we'll hang out soon. I will go to bars soon but I wanna adjust and go with another friend first to dip my toes in so to speak. I still am an introvert and one with a lot of paranoid delusions so I should limit myself. Still, yes it is easy. Interests can help but they are not a requirement: being personable is.

[MrPopo]

Come move to SoCal Ziggy. It's just as expensive as NYC, so you'll be able to handle the prices, but there's no snow unless you want it (i.e. head an hour or two east into the mountains) and we could hang out.

[REPO Man]

I haven't had snow in my town since early 2018, just a few months before I moved out of my great uncle's place.

Probably for the best since winters in my current place are tough enough without adding snow to the mix.

I bet if I lived in NYC I'd spend every snowy day off from work just walking through the nearest public park taking IG-worthy pics and drinking hot cocoa. If it's a special occasion I'll spring for some cocoa from one of those cafès that make homemade marshmallows. Otherwise I'll just stick with a thermos of Swiss Miss, made with milk and with crushed candy canes.

Maybe I'd give ice skating a chance... and then fall flat on my ass.

[Ziggy]

Come move to SoCal Ziggy. It's just as expensive as NYC, so you'll be able to handle the prices, but there's no snow unless you want it (i.e. head an hour or two east into the mountains) and we could hang out.

Who said I can handle the prices?

I've actually come to prefer the winters to the summers.

I bet if I lived in NYC I'd spend every snowy day off from work just walking through the nearest public park taking IG-worthy pics and drinking hot cocoa. If it's a special occasion I'll spring for some cocoa from one of those cafès that make homemade marshmallows. Otherwise I'll just stick with a thermos of Swiss Miss, made with milk and with crushed candy canes.

I'd bet against that. Again, I really hate to burst your bubble, but you really don't get snow days in NYC and LI. When it's snowing, even approaching blizzard conditions (or when there's an impending blizzard), most businesses still expect you to show up to work. I am not joking in the slightest. You will not enjoy snowy days, and you will learn exactly what "white knuckle" means. New York business owners do not value the lives of their employees and see a snow day as lost revenue. Only during extreme blizzard conditions is when businesses start to close. Or on the rare example of a small/private business owner that actually gives a shit about you. More often than not, the only way you will stay out of work on a snow day is if you call out sick. And then that will be generally frowned upon by your co-workers that showed up to work during the snow.

That's one of the points I've talked about with friends of mine that have moved from NY to NC. They tell me that down there, when it snows even a couple of inches, most places close and people stay home. When it's finished snowing, and the roads are cleared, then people go back out. That's not at all what happens here in NY. Even at a couple of inches, all of the stores are cleaned out and the roads are packed. People drive like shit here on a sunny day, and they don't modify their driving when it snows. So it becomes chaos. It's amazing. We get snow here every winter. And yet people have no idea how to drive (safely) in the snow. But I know you don't drive, so have fun walking in a blizzard to work. Or else you'll risk being let go. You'll probably be hit by a car, because most people don't bother to clean the snow off of their cars and it reduces their visibility. And again, they drive like shit. I know multiple people that have been hit by cars on foot or on a bike. Including one person that was hit by an SUV, and he told me it was BECAUSE they didn't clean the snow off of anything but their windshield.

Your perception of NYC really reminds me of that episode of Scrubs were Elliot wants to have a nice night out on the town. She gets out of a cab with all smiles, and the music is all cheerful. She does a spin and throws her hat in the air, then someone snatches her hat out of the air and there's a record skip to stop the cheerful music. Just then, she realizes she's not in the fairy tale she thought she was, and promptly hails a cab to get the hell out of there.



If you want to move to NYC, good luck!

[REPO Man]

I meant a day off that just so happens to be snowing.

[SamuraiMegas]

I already cancelled one trip to new York this year, but I'm honestly thinking about trying to go again just so I can post pictures of my artisanal hot chocolate in the snowy park.


You've been talking about going to NYC for so long that I was able to finish my childhood, move out of my parents house, move again, start university and a career. I'm 23 and have been on here since I was like 12.