Most bizarre video game ports

[J T]

I like to imagine that there was some poor kid whose parents wouldn't buy him any consoles other than his R-Zone who was really excited for all these ports because it was the only way he could play these franchises.

[SamuraiMegas]

There was more than one Shaq Fu?

[Ack]

There was more than one Shaq Fu?

There's five ports, though the Game Boy game is different. I've no idea on the computer versions if they are closer to the handheld with its 2-button controls and platforms or the console versions.

[aaron]

There was more than one Shaq Fu?

There's five ports, though the Game Boy game is different. I've no idea on the computer versions if they are closer to the handheld with its 2-button controls and platforms or the console versions.

don't forget the Audio CD port.

[noiseredux]

lol, if I remember correctly the name "Shaq Fu" came from the track he did w/ Fu-Shnickens.

[Ack]

Word. Though I gotta say, the prequel is better.



This man has a doctorate.

[prfsnl_gmr]

I like to imagine that there was some poor kid whose parents wouldn't buy him any consoles other than his R-Zone who was really excited for all these ports because it was the only way he could play these franchises.

Why would you like imagining something so horrible and sad?

"Oh, man! My mom is too poor to buy me a Saturn; so, thank heavens Sega is porting Panzer Dragoon to the R-Zone! I have been dreaming about playing that game ever since she let me walk through KB Toys two years ago!!!...This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"

[Luke]

This man has aN HONORARY doctorate.

Fixed!

I think shaq also has an honorary MBA and another MBA from some on-line questionable school.

Related.

[Ack]

This man has aN HONORARY doctorate.

Fixed!

I think shaq also has an honorary MBA and another MBA from some on-line questionable school.

Related.

Uh, no actually. After four and a half years of study(mostly via satellite classrooms and video conferencing), he graduated in 2012 from Barry University with a 3.81 GPA and was awarded an Ed.D in Leadership in Education, specializing in Human Resources Development. His doctoral capstone topic was "The Duality of Humor and Aggression in Leadership Styles."

[Original_Name]

I like to imagine that there was some poor kid whose parents wouldn't buy him any consoles other than his R-Zone who was really excited for all these ports because it was the only way he could play these franchises.

Oh, gah -- ow -- J T, please. Please stop. Ow -- oh, my heart, it hurts.

"Crazy Taxi: Catch a Ride" for Gameboy Advance

Technically a ridiculously impressive release considering that it's making the Gameboy Advance run an actual 3D engine, but it's lousy with slowdown among other issues, effectively removing the most essential element of the game. Possibly could have worked from an isometric perspective, but still, it wouldn't exactly be Crazy Taxi.

"Guitar Hero: On Tour" for Nintendo DS

The little brother of an old girlfriend of mine had this, and the control scheme always seemed like the most impractical configuration for a portable game to me, and pretty clearly chucked the idea of approximating the dimensions of an actual guitar out the window. According to him and reviews I saw of the game, the general consensus seems to be that they somehow pulled it off playability-wise, although the audio quality of the DS must've hindered the experience.

"Panzer Dragoon Mini" for Sega Game Gear

Not as ridiculous as the R-Zone port, but as has been said a few times throughout this thread, almost nothing was as ridiculous as those. If I squint my mind's eye, I can sort of see what they were going for here -- the Space Harrier port for the Master System (and therefore Game Gear) was serviceable, so maybe the same could be said for Panzer Dragoon. It was an ill-advised idea to begin with, don't get me wrong, but I think they could have come up with something decent enough here with some ingenious programming and art direction. Unfortunately, they didn't -- unlike Harrier, there aren't even obstacles in the playfield to mix up the graphics and gameplay. From playing 8-bit Harrier, I'm positive that the partially submerged pillars, alien foliage, and desert whirlwinds could've been retained for some scenery and gameplay variation. The funny thing is, while writing this up, I couldn't help but think of how cool a port of Rez for Game Gear might look in the right hands.

"Virtua Fighter: Animation" for Sega Game Gear

Technically not a port since it's based off of the Virtua Fighter anime instead of an entry in the main series, but if you thought trying to pull Virtua Fighter 2 off on the Genesis was crazy, wait until you see this one.