What Made you Smile/What Ticked you off Today?

[jp1]

I gotta wait for a bit longer, I really do need to talk to my dad about all this first.

You should express your feelings, tell him you don't feel safe...whatever. Don't mention cps as a threat, that is a bad idea. If cps is to be called in, you need that to happen without blame falling on you. School counselor is a great asset, not just for someone to talk to, but to have someone in your corner. Obviously you are better equipped to assess the situation, but you never know how much gasoline is waiting for that particular match. It's better to handle the difficult situation immediately and cautiously.

[Michi]

I agree with jp1. That very much sucks, SamuraiMegas.

My friend had a not-so-great parental situation, too, except with her stepfather. He got it in his head while she was in High School that they should all move off to Iowa and live on a farm (One wonders why. He had no experience with such things.) Not long after that she was the one who ended up calling the cops, because he came in one evening drunkenly swinging a shotgun around the house

Now, she ended up leaving and getting emancipated some time later, because she didn't feel safe. But it sounds like you've got your dad in this situation, so try to sit down and talk with him first to tell him how you feel. Then, if that doesn't work... Yeah, call CPS. I know you're worried about your dad, but if you don't feel safe there and your dad isn't listening to you, than you need to do something so that you are safe. The man might be in shock (I'm sure you probably are, too), but it might take that kind of a nudge to get him to realize how unsafe you feel.

Also...

You should express your feelings, tell him you don't feel safe...whatever. Don't mention cps as a threat, that is a bad idea. If cps is to be called in, you need that to happen without blame falling on you.

This. Very much this. You just want to sit down with your dad and tell him how unsafe you feel. It shouldn't be a confrontation, it should be a plea for help for the both of you. By threatening to call CPS you risk redirecting the guilt and blame I'm sure he's already feeling about himself, on to you, which is no good. Sit down and talk with him as calmly as possible, without any mention of calling the authorities of any kind. I repeat: NO THREATS. Only after he doesn't listen, do you call CPS.

[Hobie-wan]

That sucks you're stuck in the middle of that mess. Do what you have to do to stay safe.

[jp1]

I gotta wait for a bit longer, I really do need to talk to my dad about all this first.

I want to add, don't go through this alone. If you don't have anyone locally, or don't want to talk to anyone locally feel free to PM me. Or PM someone else here you feel comfortable with and trust. You need help making these decisions, and a perspective that isn't based on emotional attachments. This is a serious issue that could become deadly serious at any moment. Things may not escalate to the point you think that is possible, but it only takes one time. Please, do take some action and stay in touch with one or several adults who can help you.

[SamuraiMegas]

Yeah, you're right. I've mentioned that I feel uncomfortable at home but I'm just getting sick of constantly dealing with bullshit. I've become so used to my mom getting physical and throwing shit that when I walk into the garage when I get off the bus coming home, I can tell if there's been a fight by how misplaced an item is. I'll notice a brush on the ground and get prepared for a night of screaming.

I've also got many people I talk to about this, so I'm good.

[Blu]

SamuraiMegas, keep your head focused on your goals. Despite your world swirling around you, your education could be the thing that gets you out of that sort of environment. You're what, a sophomore or junior in high school? Find some after school extra curricular activities. Join a club or two. Take an SAT or ACT prep class. Get that money for college, or ask your shop teacher/counselor where your local guilds office is. Echoing what a lot of everyone else was saying -- find those in school who could be in your corner. It seems like it it's a very tumultuous time in your house right now and having a heart to heart with your dad is important and that might be what you're focused on, but know who else is around you if you need some support and aren't getting it. You might pinpoint some other solutions that you're not seeing because of what's weighing down on your mind so much to you right now.

A great thing you can do for yourself right now is think about how you can further yourself, and don't lose sight of that, despite what the circumstances are currently dealing you.

[SamuraiMegas]

I'd have a lot less problems if I was a sophomore. I'm a freshman and can't drive so I can't get a job to help keep my mind off things. I'm already in an APARTMENT class so I have that.I'm also starting to focus on my Cx debate topic cause I care about the subject so I may be the lead writer on our aff case. I have too many thing to focus on to get into any clubs really amd I don't want to ride the bus home at like 5:30.

[BoneSnapDeez]

Growing up my family situation was complete ass. One of my biggest regrets is that I never confided in anyone, never alerted anyone, just tried to suck it up and roll with everything the best I could. Sometimes I think about how my quality of life could have improved had I gotten out of that situation sooner. Not saying my situation is similar to yours Samurai, just thinking out loud...

[AppleQueso]

So my house my mom rolled from one abusive boyfriend to another, and each one was worse than the last. This combined with my brother made it a very unpleasant place.

When I met my girlfriend around 15 I was at her house nearly every day, partly because I liked being with her, and partly because it was an escape from all the nasty shit going down at home. I moved over there at 18, got a job and we both moved into our first apartment when i was 19. Fun times.

But yeah my mom always gives me updates about her life, and well... things have not improved at all. Still abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend, my brother still causes a lot of trouble... I really feel bad, 'cause there's honestly nothing I can do about it, she sorta ignores my advice.

But yeah, I know how you feel.

[Luke]

Sammy, we might seem like family to you, but we're not. So for what it is worth:

You have your entire life ahead of you. Not a damned thing wrong with saying "I'm still a kid but I can make my own decisions". Use CPS as a last resort. Talk with your Pops and have a good heart to heart.

From reading your posts I feel like if you have a relative that lives by that would take you in, you should highly consider that as an option. And don't think of this option as creating drama within your family. Because if you say "I'm going to stay at Uncle so and so for a while" you may provide the kick in the you know where your parents may need. Their problems should only be theirs.

Emotional maturity. You seem to be ahead of the curve on it. Keep that up. Difficult for sure, but don't let others emotions drag you down. Again, you have your entire life ahead of you.

But for the sake of God/Allah/Buddah, etc., express your feelings to your family. Explore your options, and don't feel bad if you place yourself first in this trying situation.