What was the last movie you've seen?
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noiseredux
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Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
that's what I figured. And I actually own most of them already - so I will get to them.
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
LEGO Batman, y'all. It's as ridiculous as you'd expect. My face hurt after the movie from laughing and grinning too much.
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
Oh man, I wanna see that sooo bad! Glad it's good. I loveded The LEGO Movie.
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noiseredux
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Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
looks really funny, but I'm gonna wait for bluray. Honestly, the calendar of shit that I plan to see at the movies this year is thick enough.
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
Gentlemen, I have not posted in several days, but I promise, it is for good reason. I am currently climbing the Mount Everest of crap. This may well be the worst thing I have ever watched, and I need some time to process what I am seeing. Seriously, I'm watching a movie so bad, so truly terrible, that it shakes me to my very core. It may well be the worst movie I have ever seen, and that...that would be a feat.
When I am done, I will share with you the horror of the terrible things I have seen. And you shall bare witness to my despair.
It's also foreign, and I don't speak the language.
When I am done, I will share with you the horror of the terrible things I have seen. And you shall bare witness to my despair.
It's also foreign, and I don't speak the language.
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fastbilly1
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Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
I feel that it encapsulates the entire year that it is in reference to
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
DON'T TEASE ME BB
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
We're quivering with anticipation here, Ack. Please hurry and share with us so that we may all bask in the glory of its wretchedness.
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
There are times in a man's life when he faces the most incredible odds. When fierce adversity must be overcome. When the fate of the world hangs in the balance and it seems all he can do to merely hold on to the barest thread of civilization with the last fading ounce of his being.
Gentlemen, I have been unto the mountain. I have climbed its peaks and navigated its valleys. I have struggled to claw my way past the shattered bones and frozen corpses of those who came before me and failed. And when I reached the summit, I planted my flag and screamed my name into the wind so that the gods themselves would know me, most favored son of all that is crap and grime cinema.
What is this film? May I present the greatest work of trash since the days of Ed Wood: 2016.
2016
2016 is a 2010 Ghanaian direct-to-video science fiction extravaganza, in which aliens decide to invade Ghana, "the most peaceful country on Earth," so they can then colonize and take over the world within six years. I know this because I read it somewhere online. While English is the official language of Ghana, there are over 250 distinct languages spoken in the small African country, and I don't know which one is used. There are also no subtitles, so flatly put, I literally have no idea what anyone is saying beyond the odd English word, such as "space ships." Which might mean something totally different in that language for all I know, like "I need a Coke" or "This movie sucks."
Anyway, a local scientist apparently realizes he can see a spaceship on his crappy Mac screen saver, and using the magic power of a 20-year-old stereo system, he can overhear the crappy CG aliens' plan to colonize the Earth while his iTunes download. He then holds his head and groans a lot. Meanwhile a woman translates an English news report to a woman wearing the same material that her couch is made out of, some guy named Timothy walks around and gets other people to say his name a lot, and an annoying 12-year-old annoys people. I suspect the 12-year-old is the director, for this is a Ninja picture.
That's right, Ninja is the pseudonym for the director/screenplay writer/DJ who made this and a bunch of other really terrible direct-to-video movies in Ghana. And that 12-year-old seems to be in all of them, so that has GOT to be him. He also likes to showcase his music work a lot by playing it repeatedly during the picture and occasionally just blasting "D-D-D-DJ NINJA" over and over again.
As for the aliens, they're poor CGI renders of the xenomorphs from Aliens, the Predator, and the T-800 merged together with bad photoshop skills and all the CG capabilities of a low budget production circa 1991.
You think I'm kidding? I'm not. Here's the trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAlAcRdW18U
THAT, folks, is the greatest trailer ever made, especially when the baby gets kicked. The best part about that scene is that the Mom is carrying her kid, sets him down, has time to cry about it for a minute, and then runs off. Then TWO MORE GUYS show up, see the baby, fret over him, and then run off. AND THEN IT TAKES ANOTHER MINUTE FOR THE ALIEN TO GET THERE TO KICK THE BABY. AND YES, THE BABY GOES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR AND LANDS IN A BUSHY FIELD. YOU GET TO SEE THE WHOLE CRAPPY THING. And the lady flattened by the car? CG BLOOD OOZES FROM BENEATH IT FOR THE NEXT THREE MINUTES AS A LADY SCREAMS NEARBY. I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT ALL CAPS HELPS ME VENT AFTER SEEING THIS MOVIE. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO HANDLE IT.
This may be the worst movie I've ever seen. This may be worse than my most hated film, a South Korean picture entitled Teenage Hooker Becomes Killing Machine, and that particular movie has a
And the best part?
There's a sequel.
Gentlemen, I have been unto the mountain. I have climbed its peaks and navigated its valleys. I have struggled to claw my way past the shattered bones and frozen corpses of those who came before me and failed. And when I reached the summit, I planted my flag and screamed my name into the wind so that the gods themselves would know me, most favored son of all that is crap and grime cinema.
What is this film? May I present the greatest work of trash since the days of Ed Wood: 2016.
2016
2016 is a 2010 Ghanaian direct-to-video science fiction extravaganza, in which aliens decide to invade Ghana, "the most peaceful country on Earth," so they can then colonize and take over the world within six years. I know this because I read it somewhere online. While English is the official language of Ghana, there are over 250 distinct languages spoken in the small African country, and I don't know which one is used. There are also no subtitles, so flatly put, I literally have no idea what anyone is saying beyond the odd English word, such as "space ships." Which might mean something totally different in that language for all I know, like "I need a Coke" or "This movie sucks."
Anyway, a local scientist apparently realizes he can see a spaceship on his crappy Mac screen saver, and using the magic power of a 20-year-old stereo system, he can overhear the crappy CG aliens' plan to colonize the Earth while his iTunes download. He then holds his head and groans a lot. Meanwhile a woman translates an English news report to a woman wearing the same material that her couch is made out of, some guy named Timothy walks around and gets other people to say his name a lot, and an annoying 12-year-old annoys people. I suspect the 12-year-old is the director, for this is a Ninja picture.
That's right, Ninja is the pseudonym for the director/screenplay writer/DJ who made this and a bunch of other really terrible direct-to-video movies in Ghana. And that 12-year-old seems to be in all of them, so that has GOT to be him. He also likes to showcase his music work a lot by playing it repeatedly during the picture and occasionally just blasting "D-D-D-DJ NINJA" over and over again.
As for the aliens, they're poor CGI renders of the xenomorphs from Aliens, the Predator, and the T-800 merged together with bad photoshop skills and all the CG capabilities of a low budget production circa 1991.
You think I'm kidding? I'm not. Here's the trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAlAcRdW18U
THAT, folks, is the greatest trailer ever made, especially when the baby gets kicked. The best part about that scene is that the Mom is carrying her kid, sets him down, has time to cry about it for a minute, and then runs off. Then TWO MORE GUYS show up, see the baby, fret over him, and then run off. AND THEN IT TAKES ANOTHER MINUTE FOR THE ALIEN TO GET THERE TO KICK THE BABY. AND YES, THE BABY GOES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR AND LANDS IN A BUSHY FIELD. YOU GET TO SEE THE WHOLE CRAPPY THING. And the lady flattened by the car? CG BLOOD OOZES FROM BENEATH IT FOR THE NEXT THREE MINUTES AS A LADY SCREAMS NEARBY. I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT ALL CAPS HELPS ME VENT AFTER SEEING THIS MOVIE. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO HANDLE IT.
This may be the worst movie I've ever seen. This may be worse than my most hated film, a South Korean picture entitled Teenage Hooker Becomes Killing Machine, and that particular movie has a
There's a sequel.
Re: What was the last movie you've seen?
See, now I'm intrigued about the Korean movie you mentioned.
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