Historical Christmas Archive - December 2014

[Luke]

ANT DAY

someone make it happen.

[prfsnl_gmr]

Thank you Santa for the tough-love lesson in critical thinking. I'll make sure to make you milk and cookies again as a gesture of my gratitude, though I'm reasonably sure (as much as an agnostic can be) that I will be the one eating them later. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

How crazy would it be if, when you went for the milk and cookies this year, someone else had already eaten them? That shit would turn your world upside down...



(Also, great story.)

[Jmustang1968]

Yeah I had similar skepticism and betrayal over Santa. I figured it out early, too many clues didnt add up. I also drew the parallel of Santa is for kids as God is for adults. Be good and get rewarded, be bad and get punished, they are always watching etc...

I respect those who celebrate it for spiritual reasons, and not everyone has to celebrate it the same way or for the same reasons.

[MrPopo]

I think we can all agree that the best holiday of the year is E3 week.

[prfsnl_gmr]

I think we can all agree that the best holiday of the year is E3 week.

You still believe in E3?

[MrPopo]

I think we can all agree that the best holiday of the year is E3 week.

You still believe in E3?

Leave it to the lawyer to try and suck the joy out of something.

[jp1]

My Christmas Story:

I remember when I found out Santa wasn't real; I was crushed. My emotions banged around from anger to embarrassment to sadness. I felt betrayed by everyone in the whole culture who had lied to me about my beloved Old St. Nick. I felt foolish for having ever believed (especially since I had had my doubts at times), yet still distraught at feeling like I had lost a good friend who it turned out was never really real in the first place. Dear old Santa. I didn't want this kind of experience to ever happen again. I hate being fooled, and I hate not knowing who I can trust. My thoughts immediately turned to God, who I similarly loved very much. He's a magical old man with white hair who everyone tells me is real, but I've never seen before. Supposedly, he also knows if I've been bad or good and provides rewards accordingly. He sounds an awful lot like Santa Claus. Is he another trick? Maybe when you turn 80 all the really old people let you in on the little lie you've been living all your life? The thought of this ever happening again was more than I could bear at that young age, so I became critical of all magical thinking and supernatural beliefs. I filled up with doubt, which was at first unpleasant, but as the years went on, and I ultimately embraced my doubt and coupled it with some good old rational empiricism, I found it liberating to admit that I don't know everything, and I don't need to know everything, though the pursuit of truth remains a noble endeavor.

Christmas holds a special place in my heart for making me agnostic. Plus, I do love presents and spending time with family who I eventually learned to trust again and love and appreciate for who they are, even if they are flawed characters like me. Thank you Santa for the tough-love lesson in critical thinking. I'll make sure to make you milk and cookies again as a gesture of my gratitude, though I'm reasonably sure (as much as an agnostic can be) that I will be the one eating them later. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

This makes me sad. Mostly because I couldn't recall any portion of my childhood in such detail, but also because you will never know the love of Charles Darwin! That man does not exist, he cannot love you. I defy you to prove it with something other than books sir!

This was the best written, worse Christmas tale of all time. You wrapped up your whole life of cynicism in that one defining moment. If anyone should hate Christmas, it should be you, but you love it anyway. Much the way God loves you even though you refute his existence.

Just kidding. I'm a Christian, but instead of having to resort to disclaimers (sorry you had to Mike) I'm just gonna joke around with you hell dwellers! Also, I want to fit in with the crowd, so Fuck all y'all! Except TSTR Tot.

[Opa Opa]

I didn't care that Santa wasn't real. It meant I got the cookies.

[Ack]

Guys, I think you all missed the real meaning of Christmas:

Die Hard

[prfsnl_gmr]

Guys, I think you all missed the real meaning of Christmas:

Die Hard

Actually...it's Bloodsport. Not that Bloodsport relates in any way to Christmas. It's just fucking awesome and is the real meaning of pretty much everything.