Chapters 1 and half of 2 of my book im working on

[deathbed8844]

Thanks for the input guys ill be posting new chapters soon.

[jfe2]

What the hell did I click on?! I feel like I'm in another dimension after reading this topic...

[deathbed8844]

You clicked on a masterpeice of lituerature.

[Ack]

What the hell did I click on?! I feel like I'm in another dimension after reading this topic...

I suppose now is a good time to get Reina to talk about her 8-year-old journey to self-discovery with a Zelda game. It seems like the right kind of thread.

And deathbed, keep on writing. Heck, start prepping for the next NaNoWriMo, it would probably be a good idea for you to try it.

[deathbed8844]

thanks ill take your advice on that.

[Ack]

thanks ill take your advice on that.

No problem. Also, might I suggest a bit more description? I can read your work and visualize how everything looks on my own, but I have no idea how you intend it to look. Are Colon and Palex Caucasian, African American, East Asian, what? Do they have long hair or short hair? Are they short or tall? Consider adding more description, and it will help considerably beef up the text while also setting the scene for the audience.

[Luke]

thanks ill take your advice on that.

No problem. Also, might I suggest a bit more description? I can read your work and visualize how everything looks on my own, but I have no idea how you intend it to look. Are Colon and Palex Caucasian, African American, East Asian, what? Do they have long hair or short hair? Are they short or tall? Consider adding more description, and it will help considerably beef up the text while also setting the scene for the audience.

To add to this, I'd suggest naming the guy Collin, and not Colon.

[jp1]

thanks ill take your advice on that.

No problem. Also, might I suggest a bit more description? I can read your work and visualize how everything looks on my own, but I have no idea how you intend it to look. Are Colon and Palex Caucasian, African American, East Asian, what? Do they have long hair or short hair? Are they short or tall? Consider adding more description, and it will help considerably beef up the text while also setting the scene for the audience.

To add to this, I'd suggest naming the guy Collin, and not Colon.

I don't know he could give him an automated Jetsons style bathtub and it could say "Colon cleanse in process" every time he gets a shower.

[dsheinem]

[Limewater]

I also think that the main character should have a name, but I think deathbed can come up with an awesome name on his own.