1.
Chrono Trigger (SNES)
2.
Gyromite (NES)
3.
Lucy -The Eternity She Wished For- (Steam)
4.
Ys III: Wanderers from Ys (Famicom)
5.
Radical Dreamers (SNES)
6.
Video Games 1 (TI-99/4A)
7.
Portopia Renzoku Satsujin Jiken (Famicom)
8.
Exile (TurboGrafx CD)
9.
Exile: Wicked Phenomenon (TurboGrafx CD)
10.
Xak (PC Engine CD,
Xak I・II)
11.
Xak II (PC Engine CD,
Xak I・II)
12.
Neutopia (TurboGrafx-16)
13.
Captain Silver (Sega Master System)
14.
Märchen Veil (Famicom Disk System)
15.
Vanguard (Atari 2600)
16.
Kangaroo (Atari 2600)
17.
Front Line (Atari 2600)
18.
Mario Bros. (Atari 2600)
19.
Harmonia (Steam)
20.
Donkey Kong (Atari 2600)
21.
Jungle Hunt (Atari 2600)
22.
Dragon Slayer: The Legend of Heroes (TurboGrafx CD)
23.
Gorf (Atari 2600)
24.
Neutopia II (TurboGrafx-16)
25.
Dungeon Magic (PlayStation 2,
Taito Legends 2)
26.
The Lost Vikings (SNES)
27.
Blue's Journey (Wii Virtual Console)
28.
Wizard Fire (Wii,
Data East Arcade Classics)
29.
Super Mario Run (Android)
30.
Dragon Warrior II (NES)
31.
Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure (GOG.com)
32. Witch & Hero (Nintendo eShop)So I don't intentionally play bad games. But the Nintendo Life review of this particular title piqued my interest. See, the reviewer said something incredibly contradictory, namely that
Witch & Hero was:
1. Pretty crappy and,
2. Utilized the bump system in combat
Now, obviously there was some error made here. No bump system game has
ever been bad. So, maybe the game is good and/or the game doesn't actually use the bump system? I had to find out!
Okay, there's a lot of bumping. And the game isn't bad per se, but it's incredibly tedious.
Witch & Hero, available on the 3DS eShop, comes to us courtesy of CIRCLE Entertainment, a publisher who has managed to crank out quite a few "retro" games these past few years. Like most CIRCLE titles,
Witch & Hero sports a pseudo-8-bit look accompanied by chiptune-y music. Neither element is outstanding, but merely utilitarian.
Conceptually, the gameplay is pretty interesting.
Witch & Hero is like a cross between a tower defense game and an action-RPG. The protagonist is the "hero": a knight seeking revenge on Medusa, who has turned his witch companion to stone. Said witch is being dragged along for the ride, as she can occasionally rise from her slumber to unleash devastating magical attacks.
Stages consist of a single screen with the stone witch placed dead-center. Enemies slowly approach from all sides, and it's the hero's job to vanquish them before they damage the witch. Both the witch and hero have a health bar, though Game Over only occurs when the witch's HP reaches zero. The hero merely becomes stunned momentarily, and the duration of said stun can be shortened by rocking around the thumbstick. Combat is a bit more akin to
Hydlide than
Ys, in that the bumping is less strategic and there's no way to defeat an enemy without also taking some damage yourself.
XP and money are not gained automatically, as they are represented by gems left by slain enemies. In later stages the hero can also collect blood: when given to the witch she'll unleash a wind or fire attack. There's also a "holy sword" attack boost that can be utilized, though I'm not sure if its appearance is triggered by loss of HP or the number of hits the hero doles out.
The hero gains levels after certain XP totals are reached, this mainly results in a HP boost. Attack, defense, speed, and magic upgrades must be purchased at a store that can be accessed any time between stages.

There's a good amount of strategy required here, mainly the constant weighing of risks vs. rewards. Run around and collect gems for upgrades or stay close and protect the witch? Give the witch the blood now, or wait until stronger enemies (possibly) appear? The developers threw in some unexpected tricky elements too. Some enemies drop chests with extra goodies, but these take multiple hits to open so precious time can be lost while doing so. Also, leaving chests hanging around will slow down certain foes that have to walk "through" them. Then there are the bosses, which are mainly larger and stronger versions of the regular enemies. A level ends whenever a boss (or bosses) is slain, but standard bad guys will still trickle out after the boss makes an appearance, so it can be smart to "juggle" the boss a bit, keeping it away from the witch, while taking out additional enemies for the XP and money.
I would have enjoyed the game quite a bit had success been determined by strategy and some small amount of level-grinding. Unfortunately,
Witch & Hero requires a tremendous amount of grinding. As in, be prepared to play each stage 5-10 times to prep for the next. It's excruciatingly dull, and there's no way to "speed up" the grinding, even after significant XP gains are made, as the boss appearance is based on a timer so the net time duration of a given stage never changes. Thankfully, the game is on the 3DS so it's easy enough to play it "mindlessly" whilst watching TV or whatever. As such, I'd recommend staying away from the Steam port in favor of the handheld original.
This is wasted potential, essentially. A cool concept that takes a backseat to needless repetition. When I found myself
playing the game proper, I had fun. But these moments were all too fleeting. There is a sequel, which I purchased alongside this game, which appears to be marginally better. Apparently, you can even move the witch! I'll get to that someday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna play a 16-bit RPG. I heard there was no grinding in those.