I didn’t know if I was going to have the energy to finish this today like I originally planned, but I managed. Go me.
The following write-up is brought to you by Luke and noiseredux….
Because one of them talked me into it and the other bid on it.
I now redirect your attention to my semi-regularly scheduled write-up.
I Know Who Killed Me
This is the movie that noise has chosen for me to watch after placing the winning bid in our racketboy charity auction. But before I get to the movie, I’d like to give you a little background info on why there was such a delay in getting it finished.
The auction ended on January 18th and I made my Amazon purchase that weekend, expecting my movie the following week. When Friday rolled around I went out to my mailbox and was most joyous when I opened it and saw my packages. I opened up the big one first, placing my new books on my shelf, then turned my attention to the smaller package. I opened it up, slid the DVD out and was greeted with this:
SON. OF. A. BUGGER.
I guess somebody at the Amazon fulfillment center had a sense of humor that day. After being redirected several times on Amazon.com, I finally managed to find a phone number for customer service.
Customer Service: And what seems to be the problem?
Me: I was sent the wrong movie.
Customer Service: What did you order?
Me: I Know Who Killed Me.
Customer Service: And what did you get?
Me: The Pursuit of Happiness.
Customer Service:
For your enjoyment, I have illustrated my plight in comic form:
- dvd_drama2.jpg (384.02 KiB) Viewed 2647 times
I hope you feel you’ve gotten your $3 worth, noise.
And that, boys and girls, is the story of why it took so damn long to get to this point.
Onward ho…..
I Know Who Killed Me is about a young student named Aubrey Fleming. She’s a small town girl living a peaceful little life until the day she gets abducted by a creepy killer who likes to wear blue. Miraculously, unlike the unfortunate previous victim, Aubrey turns up alive and well, minus a couple of appendages. She also returns with a new personality, that of exotic dancer Dakota Moss. Her parents and the authorities think she’s completely lost it, but when strange wounds start appearing on her body Aubrey becomes even more desperate to figure out what’s going on before the killer manages to finish her off.
Believe it or not, this movie wasn’t half bad. In fact, I found it to be pretty good.
Say whaaaaa?
The first thing you’re going to notice about this film, so I’m just going to get it out of the way now, is the color blue. It’s everywhere and I mean
everywhere. The killer is blue. The killer’s knives are blue. Lindsay is blue.
Walls are blue. Creepy-a$$ bus stops are blue:
Seriously, that looks like it’s covered in blood. GO. SOMEWHERE. ELSE.
Aubrey’s clothes are blue
It wants me to write down what I’m feeling today? I’m going to go with…blue.
There’s at least one instance when it gets tired of blue and switches to grayscale and blue
Movie: “I give you….Art!”
Did I mention Lindsay was blue?
A refresher in case you missed it.
You get the picture.
Often the movie uses this color scheme to its benefit by way of some very pretty contrasting segments.
But really, it likes to focus more on the blue. The movie does differentiate between Aubrey and Dakota by giving them separate color schemes. Aubrey gets good girl blue. Dakota bad girl red. But for the most part: blue. It’s all heavily symbolic, but I can see how this color choice could be a bit overpowering to some.
The movie also has a surprising amount of blood and gore and isn’t afraid to show it. In fact, there are a couple of scenes where it almost revels in it, to the point where one could say it verges on torture porn.
Dry ice…hand…skin…peeling…GAH!
The camera lingers on these scenes and it’s all very squirm worthy. You are not permitted a break as the blue gloved killer peels back the ice and slowly cuts off a frostbitten finger. It’s gruesome and very voyeuristic, making it all the more uncomfortable.
Of course, that means that you spend a lot of time watching Aubrey/Dakota deal with her missing limbs. The camera doesn’t shy away from showing you the dismembered limbs, but those moments are short. Aubrey/Dakota quickly gets a new mechanical arm and leg to help her function. Something I’m sure had the added benefit of saving on CGI costs.
Who the hell’s insurance covers bionic arms? If anyone knows please tell me so I may switch coverage immediately.
As far as the acting goes, that was a bit of a mixed bag. After hearing so many people give Lohan so much flack I was surprised how tolerable she was here. She pulls off the dichotomy of the two separate identities quite admirably. Not perfectly, mind you, but admirably. There were a few times when I noticed her eyes give off a glossy, not-quite-there look. It was most notable in the stripping scenes. Her eyes would kind of glaze and you could tell she had gone to her happy place, probably because she wasn’t too comfortable up there on that pole. And to answer any of your lingering questions, no, she is at no point topless in this film. Despite the strip pole you will see no Lohan boobies. You will see
other boobies, but not Lohans.
As for the other characters, they sort of run the gamut. There’s a lot of under acting and, in some cases, overacting in this movie. Some of the latter of which can be down right hysterical.
Doh!
Probably the worse cases of these are the mother and Aubrey’s boyfriend. Poor Julia Ormond is just trying too damn hard. It’s a bit disappointing, as
she’s accumulated quite a decent little amount of acting award nominations. There is one scene where I felt she was quite impressive
And surprisingly touching.
So I’m not sure what was going on there.
And I’m sorry, but I find it hard to believe that Aubrey would be dating such a lunkhead like Jarred. He’s just too much of a dolt. She seems completely disinterested in him mentally and physically, so other than some amputee-sex with Dakota I’m not sure what his purpose is. Is he supposed to come off as being that blah? Then why would Aubrey date him? Alas, an annoying plot hole that will never be answered.
As is the question of where all those blue roses came from because
THOSE AREN’T NATURALLY OCCURING, DAMNIT!
One other thing I’d like to mention about this movie is the music. Say what you will about the plot, cinematography, and acting, but the music was spot on and gorgeous. Hell, I sat through the closing credits just so I could listen to the whole thing. The entire score adds a level of class to a film that probably doesn’t deserve it. It’s really quite fabulous.
Here’s the soundtrack score suite. Do give it a listen.
I must admit, this movie was a pleasant surprise. Despite its many flaws, the mystery is intriguing, the movie is pretty to look at and it is, for the most part, decently acted. It’s by no means a perfect film, but I don’t feel it quite deserves the full weight of its bad reputation. It reminds me a bit of
Jennifer’s Body, another movie that had an excellent premise that it tried, but didn’t quite live up to. It has its issues, but if you like mystery-thrillers, like films with a strong use of color, and can appreciate the slightly campy vibe than it’s something you can look more into.
And yes, at one point Lindsay does exclaim, “I know who killed me.” Which I thought was actually a nice touch, corny as it sounds, as it reminds me of some Italian thrillers. Slight conundrum though, as no one’s dead when she says it (except for that poor girl at the beginning of the movie) and she doesn’t really have a clue who the killer is. The more I think about it, the more I feel it was added just for the hell of it. Just an interesting final thought I had.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to see if I can track down the soundtrack.
