Lack of gaming friends?

[cha cha]

Most of my friends are gamers, I meet most of them through gaming. I am super not shy or introverted in person, so I strike up convos with just about anyone with similar interests that attends gaming events I am at. This goes a long way to making friends and getting invited to play with new groups of people.
At my wedding 4 out of 5 of my groomsmen were friends I made through gaming, but those friendships blossomed beyond just playing games and we all became lifelong friends.

Anyways, just gotta put yourself out there man. Don't live in a city or big town? Travel around to game stores, conventions and tournaments for games you are interested in. You will find plenty of friend potential there.

I think the biggest hurdle now, as opposed to "back then", is I was part of the last 'arcade generation' of gamers. There was a lot more socialization in-person back then. People were forced to go out and meet people if they wanted to play a game vs others, even if it was at someone's house.
Nowadays online connection quality is good enough to dissuade gamers from leaving their couch (coupled with a lot of cities losing most if not ALL of their arcades and LAN centers), as they can get their 'social gaming' in from behind a TV screen or keyboard. I doubt if I were a teen in this era, that I would have met even 1/2 the people I know through gaming, maybe more. It's a shame but that is the truth of it now... but that doesn't mean you can put yourself out there and find events/LANs/conventions to hit up, it just makes the work of finding people harder.

So yea... I think there is a message somewhere in there

[fastbilly1]

I think what chacha is trying to say is you need to start an Arcade or Lanparty. I second this motion.

[cha cha]

I mean, he lives in Seattle.... not exactly a city devoid of gaming culture. In fact it's probably got more going on for gaming than most cities. Just gotta get out there, become a familiar face at stores, arcades and LANs, get to know people and become part of groups that are willing to play each other on a regular basis. Hell, you have PAX on top of all that gaming culture in Seattle... shouldn't be hard to find people.

You can sit here and argue with me that your "situation" this and "it's not what you think" that, until you are blue in the face. The reality is- I have lived in 6 different cities and if I couldn't find games groups or scenes to become a part of... I just went ahead and created one; Putting yourself out there is key, and your efforts will be rewarded if you just don't give up after the first unsuccessful go at it.

Tap your resources is another thing I am trying to convey... If normal gaming avenues haven't worked out for you- try attending things that gamers commonly branch out into like comic conventions/shows, anime clubs and university game clubs for games you may not be exactly "interested" in but may find gamers within that play the uninteresting game IN ADDITION to many games you like also... and so on.

I could write a book on all the ways you can find gamers and create friendships through gaming. My best advice is to get over whatever is holding you back from exploring the game communities around you and stop expecting people to magically find you (which is a trap many gamers fall into). They'll never know you exist until you help them notice you.

$0.04

yep, that is 4 cents worth of advice.

[Retrogamer0001]

Solo gamer here, though I prefer it that way. I like escaping into a game's world and just immersing myself in it without any real-life interruptions. I don't really play any multi-player games anyway, mostly action/adventure and RPGs, so everything fits together just fine.

[Fragems]

What Cha Cha said about stores is a good idea to. I have met alot of interesting people at gamestops, pawns, and flea markets in the area. Gamestops can be a great place to meet people in general to clerks are usually bored out of their minds and most enjoy having a nice chat especially if you have similar gaming interests.

[hashiriya1]

None of the friends I hang out with regularly are gamers. I hang out with some Racketboy members maybe once or twice a year, but other than that nobody I know really knows about or talks about games. We are all car guys and that's just as good.

[kelsoanim]

I am super not shy or introverted in person, so I strike up convos with just about anyone with similar interests that attends gaming events I am at. This goes a long way to making friends and getting invited to play with new groups of people.

Cha cha, I appreciate all your advice and it seems like you are very outgoing and friendly. But you should understand that it's not so easy for some of us. Meeting new people makes me pretty uncomfortable sometimes and can lead to some awkward conversations, and people can definitely sense when you are feeling awkward and can be put off by it. I get what you are saying though, definitely going to make an effort.

Sounds like finding meetups and stuff like that is definitely a good place to start. I will openly admit that I am a bit of a misanthrope and a cynic and that definitely gets in the way. I'm not very good at/don't enjoy small talk so I am probably missing some opportunities to get to know people I meet when I go out. But I guess the key is just forcing myself to do it anyway in the hopes of meeting cool people that share my interests.

[cha cha]

I am super not shy or introverted in person, so I strike up convos with just about anyone with similar interests that attends gaming events I am at. This goes a long way to making friends and getting invited to play with new groups of people.

Cha cha, I appreciate all your advice and it seems like you are very outgoing and friendly. But you should understand that it's not so easy for some of us. Meeting new people makes me pretty uncomfortable sometimes and can lead to some awkward conversations, and people can definitely sense when you are feeling awkward and can be put off by it. I get what you are saying though, definitely going to make an effort.

Sounds like finding meetups and stuff like that is definitely a good place to start. I will openly admit that I am a bit of a misanthrope and a cynic and that definitely gets in the way. I'm not very good at/don't enjoy small talk so I am probably missing some opportunities to get to know people I meet when I go out. But I guess the key is just forcing myself to do it anyway in the hopes of meeting cool people that share my interests.

Hey man, I didn't mean for it to come off like "I have an easy time talking to people, and you should too!". I meant more for it to come off like "Hey man, you never know until you try, so try more often!". So my bad on that front

Putting yourself "out there" also isn't just about finding gamers and walking up to them and talking to them randomly about a random game. It's about just drawing attention to your interests 'statically' and sometimes 'forcibly' all under the umbrella of casual conversation.

Forcibly- you can do things like find a local gaming club or anime club that has a videogame night and ask if you can provide/set up one of your multiplayer games you are looking for people to join in on. Stuff like that can be a tremendous ice breaker that already takes care of finding people that like what you do when they sit down for that game... You can also do things like sign up for mailing lists or forums for local game groups or reddit groups into certain types of games, and through that you can maybe latch onto a convo being had about games you like or that are related to what you like and use that as a segue etc.

Statically- you can wear apparel that reps the type of gamer you are, like tshirts, hats and the like bearing logos or characters you can easily talk to a stranger about of they come up and say "yo dawg I love that shirt!", this can also work in reverse if you catch someone rocking a shirt of a game or franchise you love; leading on to...
It's also about being more observant. Check what people are doing in your surroundings. (example:) Maybe while on campus in the commons you run across a dude playing Dragon's Crown on his Vita, and while you don't have that game you may like a similar games such as- AD&D Shadows over Mystara, which you just got on XBL... Maybe strike up a convo with that dude about beat em ups and find out of he likes SoM also and grab that gamertag from him to set up for some online play at a later time.

Just speaking from experience there, and letting you know this- For every gamer I have successfully recruited for one of my gaming efforts or found and became friends with... there have been hundreds of complete whiffs and people who just weren't interested in pursuing extracurricular gaming activities outside their tiny bubble. The most important point being: that's just how any social endeavors are; win some and lose some.... and yet again you just never know until you try, just keep on trying.

Good luck my friend.

[Hazerd]

Thing i have about making new gaming friends or bringing over strangers, is if i can trust them around my gaming collection if i leave the room or something.

[Retrogamer0001]

Thing i have about making new gaming friends or bringing over strangers, is if i can trust them around my gaming collection if i leave the room or something.

download.jpg (10.08 KiB) Viewed 322 times