Hilariously bad game reviews

[cha cha]

LOL, this SFZ2 review is like... So hilariously messed up. The guy says like some of the most incorrect things about SF you will ever hear, treats the movie like canon for the entire franchise and judges the game on completely inane aspects like endings.

I'd almost believe he has never played videogames before doing reviews. But yea, he has some priceless quotes.

[kidfresh]

LOL, this SFZ2 review is like... So hilariously messed up. The guy says like some of the most incorrect things about SF you will ever hear, treats the movie like canon for the entire franchise and judges the game on completely inane aspects like endings.

I'd almost believe he has never played videogames before doing reviews. But yea, he has some priceless quotes.

"Fighters with powerful legs are generally the best fighters in the game."

[BoneSnapDeez]

Here's an idiotic review of Ys I & II Chronicles on Destructoid. The author complains at length about some dated and obtuse game mechanics, as if the game was originally developed in 2009.

I don't like that review at all , but I don't think why a game should be judged differently just because it is old but for what it is and if it's clunky or ugly, I think a critic should just say that.

I agree. But it's incredibly lazy for someone to review a remake (or "enhanced port") without looking into the original game first - the source material, if you will. There should be some comparisons and stated reasons as to why I should/shouldn't check this one out if I already own the original.

(Something about this review is just off anyway... he's not familiar with the Ys series at all, with the exception of Ys Typing Tutor - which isn't even a standalone game but is a minigame contained within the Japan-only JRPG Zwei!! Really?)

This is all related to a greater issue I have: on nearly every major gaming site, retro remakes and compilations tend to be reviewed by people that don't even enjoy retro games in the first place. Look at any recent review of a Midway/Namco/whatever comp: "There are some gems here, but most of it is dated and doesn't hold up today. 5/10".

[cha cha]

LOL, this SFZ2 review is like... So hilariously messed up. The guy says like some of the most incorrect things about SF you will ever hear, treats the movie like canon for the entire franchise and judges the game on completely inane aspects like endings.

I'd almost believe he has never played videogames before doing reviews. But yea, he has some priceless quotes.

"Fighters with powerful legs are generally the best fighters in the game."

Yea the BEST part about that particular quote was that he was referring to and showing Dan, while he was fighting Sagat who HAS the longest legs in the game (not counting Dhalsim's stretch normals) and was not mentioned on his "list" of best legs in the game...lol.

This guy seriously sounded like a southern catholic school teacher speculating about what makes this game good without knowing one bit of what actually is, or what kids would want out of the game.

[Sload Soap]

LOL, this SFZ2 review is like... So hilariously messed up. The guy says like some of the most incorrect things about SF you will ever hear, treats the movie like canon for the entire franchise and judges the game on completely inane aspects like endings.

I'd almost believe he has never played videogames before doing reviews. But yea, he has some priceless quotes.

Haha, I knew that was going to be a "Gaming in the Clinton years" review. I love his advice on how to win: putting the game on easy.

EDIT: So obviously I had to seek out more of his reviews. They are amazing in their ignorance and shortsightedness.

Some gems include "no one plays a game for multi-player" from the Goldeneye review and that Symphony of the Night is just "more of the same". The FF8 review starts with "I hope one of the lovers dies".

[BoneSnapDeez]

Oh man, I actually wanted to see Bill Clinton play Street Fighter.

[CavZee]

I still can't believe someone writing about games has never played a JRPG. I mean, other genres? All right, even if I think it's awful I can understand. But a JRPG is as mainstream as it gets D:

They're really not mainstream anymore it seems.

=(

[isiolia]

They're really not mainstream anymore it seems.

=(

Few series ever had mass popularity, and the newer releases from those franchises still seem to sell fairly well.

Mainstream or not has little to do with it anyway. Sports games are very mainstream titles, yet there are probably millions of gamers who have never put much time into them.

[Erik_Twice]

This is all related to a greater issue I have: on nearly every major gaming site, retro remakes and compilations tend to be reviewed by people that don't even enjoy retro games in the first place.

It's true. I think part of this is that the best writers on most sites focus on columns or features, they do not write most reviews, much less reviews of something like game compilations.

I do find the lack of appreciation of half of the medium by certain critics to be a bit baffling. I think a critic shouldn't be that limited

[Valkyrie-Favor]

Nakamura's Ys I & II Chronicles review contains this gem:

For those interested in the music, it should be noted that the retail version comes packed with a soundtrack CD, while the downloadable version does not.

It's not fair to criticize him for that, but I actually burst out laughing when I read it. I just expected the sentence to end with "soundtrack CD."

Also:

If a game isn't fun, I'm supposed to look past that because people thought it was fun twenty years ago before they knew any better?