When Does Collecting Become a Problem?

[flojocabron]

Intervention!



I find it funny that we as sharks (gamers) are trying to console each other over our habits.

I won't lie, I have the same problem too.

We can control our hoarding tendencies for a while, but some of us fall right back in.

Dammit.

[johnblade]

Or you can be this guy.

[disorderlyvision]

A bit over a decade ago, Just out of HS I got a credit card. "I'll only use it for emergencies." Had it maxed out in a few months.... I cut it up and have not had a credit card since. I just within the last couple years got a debit card, and that was because my paycheck gets deposited to it. On payday I go to the bank atm and withdraw my paycheck. If I do not have cash then I don't get it. Pretty damn easy to stay out of debt that way.

I also don't buy anything current gen. That seems like a waste of money to me. my biggest gaming purchases ever have been like $60 for a wii at a pawn shop. I find most of my games in the wild and generally pay very little ($3-4). If I spend $10 on a game I feel like I am splurging. I don't just do this with games. I have never purchased a new vehicle. I have drove my current car for almost a decade. I buy almost all of my clothes at thrift stores (aside from sock and underwear of course, and I will splurge every now and then and pick up some t-shirt I've decided I can't live without.) I can't bring myself to pay $50+ for a pair of pants when I can get a like new pair for under $5 at a thrift store. I even bargain shopped for my new house. I ended up getting a foreclosure for $13,500 (2 bedroom, detached garage, decent sized fenced in yard, newer vinyl siding etc) it needed a bit of work inside, but by the time I'm done with everything I will have less than 20k in it. My house payment is like $55 a month.

Even if you live in "poverty" level you can live pretty extravagantly, if you do it right. There is absolutely no need to go in debt or wreck your lives. I own my house, own my car, have a metric shit ton of games, systems, etc tv's, furniture,... a whole house full of shit. Not to mention I have 2 daughters that I have 50% custody of... and they have a room piled full of stuff.... and groceries...I don't receive welfare or get handouts. I make like 12K a year working at a gas station right now.

[Hazerd]

The lack of good stuff out in the wild controls my collecting, also i tend to not buy modern console games unless they are under $30

[BoneSnapDeez]

Or you can be this guy.

Before even clicking the link I knew exactly where it was leading...

[mjmjr25]

Collecting games and playing games are completely separate hobbies that revolve around the same item.

Do people crack nuts with nutcrackers, build pyramids out of their baseball cards, or have hunts with their faberge eggs? My mother in law has 4 sets of china, on display year round, and one set gets used at Christmas, so each plate and bowl gets used once every 4 years. It isn't a problem, because she buys china to collect, not to eat.

If you are bothered that you aren't playing - then ask yourself why you're collecting. Do you collect because you want to play, but can't because you are overwhelmed with too many selections and lack of time? Or do you collect because you like to build libraries and look at the artwork? If the former, then recognize it and slow down, if the latter, then simply stay in your means (your means being both monetary, time, and in relation to other commitments).

[J T]

One of the big things about having a gigantic game collection is the overwhelming physicality of it. When someone is interested in something that you are not, doesn't it just seem almost creepy when their walls are plastered with it everywhere? Like if you walk into someone's space who is into something different than you, maybe like collecting Beanie Babies or something, and they have endless shelves crammed together on the walls and display cases and off-branching merchandise like pillowcases and t-shirts and posters. When you walk into their place for the first time it's overwhelming and you just kind of make this assumption that the person is waaay to pre-occupied with whatever they are collecting. You assume the collecting is unhealthy. Where I used to live, there was a house down the street that collected carousel horses and it was acutely terrifying to walk by there at night and see all the carousel creatures in the yard, through the windows, and on the walls, even though the owner was actually just nostalgic for their childhood rather than nightmarishly creepy.

Now you may know yourself to have diverse interests beyond collecting, but others won't if it consumes your living space. I'm a big fan of digital games for this reason. If I had to find space for all of my downloaded games, I would need a house 8 times the size of the one I have now and I would look like an absolute gaming freak (which I kind of am, but others don't know that unless I tell them). There are people I work with, people that come by the house, and others that have no idea what a gamer I am. Even people close to me don't understand the full extent of it. I keep a lot of it hidden in digital folders, and even if they were to get into those folders, a list of 1000 files never seems as freakish as a dozen stacked shelves. This is just image management though, and doesn't actually address issues of your priorities in terms of how you spend your time and money.

Where your fiance is probably right though is in the amount of time you spend with others. I spend most of my time with my wife or my work. Gaming and music come after that, then outdoors stuff, then movies and TV, then books. And a lot of those activities (except gaming) overlap with spending time with my wife. You have to prioritize your time, and if you find yourself avoiding your significant other by playing games, then you need to take a step back and figure out what has gone wrong, address it, and try to solve it. Using games as a way of not dealing with life is where they tend to become unhealthy.

Sorry to hear about your fiance calling things off. I hope what I and others have said here has been helpful.

[Hatta]

My fiancé decided it was too much to deal with and felt I spent more time and money on buying games than I did on her so she left earlier this week without even wanting to discuss it.

That's terrible. Sucks to have such a rude awakening. Guys, make sure your women know you love them more than you love your games. Buy them some flowers instead of buying yourself games sometimes. Make sure they have their own space to pursue their own interests. And communicate. If you don't know whether your gaming is a potential problem, then your lack of communication is a bigger problem than gaming is.

[Jmustang1968]

Of course without really knowing the situation, with the limited info given it seems that your fiance found a convenient excuse to leave or that it was bound to happen anyway. If she didnt even talk about it and left out of nowhere, there might be deeper issues at heart.

I disagree with the image thing on collecting. I could care less if others think negatively about my gameroom display. I think most are impressed by it or at the least appreciative of it. And if not, oh well? My house and my gameroom represent my passions and enjoyment. As long as you don't spiral out of control and create a hazard in your home or spend more than your means, then why not?

For the people who do go out of control, I think it is a personal issue that they need to come to terms with. Because more than likely if not games than it would be something else i.e. substance abuse, gamblind addiction, collecting some other sort of item etc...

[cookie monster]

Collecting has become a issue at my home already. Foxhound has bought games and hid them in the car thinking i would never find them. He constantly ignores me for games and online stuff it makes me feel worthless sometimes. But no amount of fighting and game hoarding is gonna change how i feel about him. I know that collecting is what makes him happy so i just deal with it.