Guilt and Gaming

[aaron]

this thread has 8 responses and is already totally derailed from the first two posts. thanks, dsh. you and your adorable child have ruined ANOTHER thread.

[BoringSupreez]

Just to add my input. I really don't like playing violent games around my step-niece and nephew. However, I remember when I was three or four I'd watch my dad play Doom 95 on a Pentium 100. I've been playing M games without supervision since I was 5 or 6.

That said, I don't condone showing young children violent and explicit material of any kind. However, I don't think your child will turn into a deranged freak if they see you killing an alien or two.

My little sister used to love playing Doom when she was 5. My parents have never been any kind of strict when it comes to kids and videogame violence. And she's not any worse off for it now that she's 10, so I don't think violent games are really a problem for kids, so long as they know it's not to be done for real. Well, and so long as you don't let them see really extreme stuff, like RE4 or Manhunt.

[wip3outguy7]

Now that I have found some games I am very much craving to play (PS3 fighters and some MVS stuffs) I have a new issue - guilt.

It used to be I would play along side my kids on the Wii, or just watch them, and then on the weekend or after they were down to bed, I would play a shmup for 30 minutes or something.

However now, I am very much into a few games i've recently acquired, and am wanting to play more often. The problem is the games I want to play (more violent fighters/shooters) that I don't want my kids exposed to, I have to play downstairs or in the bedroom - thus i'm not with them. So now I have this guilt going on...

Do any of the other parent/gamers experience this? Obvious suggestions I am missing?

You know, there isn't really an easy suggestion to this. The issue here isn't really violent video games, it's time. My wife and I decided not to have children early in our relationship. She doesn't care for children at all and I'm OK with kids as long as they aren't mine. We decided that we would rather dedicate that time to each other. We are very close and do lots of things together. I can and have driven across the country, her and myself, no radio and we never run out of things to talk about. We've been this way for 10 years - this isn't some kind of new love thing.

That said, I am addicted to video games. I love video games. I love playing them and buying them and experiencing things related to them. My wife just doesn't share that same passion (and I wouldn't expect her to). That's not to say that she doesn't like video games, she does. But she definitely does not like to play specific genres I favor and is not willing to dedicate the time and practice it takes to even enjoy certain games.

This means a lot of my video game playing could potentially take me away from her. Of course, she is an adult so playing a violent video game doesn't necessarily alienate her from the gaming area. She can chill next to me and watch or read a book. But a lot of my dedicated gaming time usually has to be scheduled during times when we are apart. This works well when our schedules don't align and completely changes when we work jobs that have similar hours and days off. I just have to give up the gaming bug. I buy fewer games and play even less of them. That's just how it has to be.

[Inazuma]

Bad parents really piss me off. Don't hide sex and violence from your kids. Teach them about it at a young age. Treat your kids like adults. Tell them the truth. Educate them about sex, violence, curse words, etc yourself. It may seem like a good idea to hide all of these things from your kids and raise them inside a fantasy world, but one day, reality will hit them in the face and they will be shocked and unprepared for it.

@OP
Play violent games in front of your kids. Teach them about the games. Tell them that video games are not real and you shouldn't be violent in real life. It's OK to do violent things in games because it's not real. If they can have the same understanding about violence as you do, there should be no problem. If your kids want to play a violent game, let them. Don't raise your kids to hide stuff from you. If you are open and honest with them, they will be the same way to you.

[mjmjr25]

Bad parents really piss me off. Don't hide sex and violence from your kids. Teach them about it at a young age. Treat your kids like adults. Tell them the truth. Educate them about sex, violence, curse words, etc yourself. It may seem like a good idea to hide all of these things from your kids and raise them inside a fantasy world, but one day, reality will hit them in the face and they will be shocked and unprepared for it.

@OP
Play violent games in front of your kids. Teach them about the games. Tell them that video games are not real and you shouldn't be violent in real life. It's OK to do violent things in games because it's not real. If they can have the same understanding about violence as you do, there should be no problem. If your kids want to play a violent game, let them. Don't raise your kids to hide stuff from you. If you are open and honest with them, they will be the same way to you.

Holy crap you don't have kids, do you. Explain what is real and what isn't real to a 3 year old? No one spends more time w/their children than my wife and I do. My wife has a degree in bio-psyche and child education and she hopes you will adjust your post or say you are joking - if it was meant as funny, it isn't. If it is meant as serious, your knowledge of a child's ability to differentiate things such as sex/drugs/violence at these ages is not only non-existent but also dangerous.

[brunoafh]

Bad parents really piss me off. Don't hide sex and violence from your kids. Teach them about it at a young age. Treat your kids like adults. Tell them the truth. Educate them about sex, violence, curse words, etc yourself. It may seem like a good idea to hide all of these things from your kids and raise them inside a fantasy world, but one day, reality will hit them in the face and they will be shocked and unprepared for it.

@OP
Play violent games in front of your kids. Teach them about the games. Tell them that video games are not real and you shouldn't be violent in real life. It's OK to do violent things in games because it's not real. If they can have the same understanding about violence as you do, there should be no problem. If your kids want to play a violent game, let them. Don't raise your kids to hide stuff from you. If you are open and honest with them, they will be the same way to you.

[AmishSamurai]

Bad parents really piss me off. Don't hide sex and violence from your kids. Teach them about it at a young age. Treat your kids like adults. Tell them the truth. Educate them about sex, violence, curse words, etc yourself. It may seem like a good idea to hide all of these things from your kids and raise them inside a fantasy world, but one day, reality will hit them in the face and they will be shocked and unprepared for it.

@OP
Play violent games in front of your kids. Teach them about the games. Tell them that video games are not real and you shouldn't be violent in real life. It's OK to do violent things in games because it's not real. If they can have the same understanding about violence as you do, there should be no problem. If your kids want to play a violent game, let them. Don't raise your kids to hide stuff from you. If you are open and honest with them, they will be the same way to you.

Holy crap you don't have kids, do you. Explain what is real and what isn't real to a 3 year old? No one spends more time w/their children than my wife and I do. My wife has a degree in bio-psyche and child education and she hopes you will adjust your post or say you are joking - if it was meant as funny, it isn't. If it is meant as serious, your knowledge of a child's ability to differentiate things such as sex/drugs/violence at these ages is not only non-existent but also dangerous.

Exactly. Making sure my kid doesn't see a screaming zombie on fire spewing blood or wanting them to know how to properly use the f-word at age 7 does not make me a bad parent.

[dunpeal2064]

Bad parents really piss me off. Don't hide sex and violence from your kids. Teach them about it at a young age. Treat your kids like adults. Tell them the truth. Educate them about sex, violence, curse words, etc yourself. It may seem like a good idea to hide all of these things from your kids and raise them inside a fantasy world, but one day, reality will hit them in the face and they will be shocked and unprepared for it.

@OP
Play violent games in front of your kids. Teach them about the games. Tell them that video games are not real and you shouldn't be violent in real life. It's OK to do violent things in games because it's not real. If they can have the same understanding about violence as you do, there should be no problem. If your kids want to play a violent game, let them. Don't raise your kids to hide stuff from you. If you are open and honest with them, they will be the same way to you.

Very rare to see such ignorance, even online. I do not even see why someone with any kind of brain power would try to tell a parent how to interact with and raise their children.

If you really think you universally understand all kids and can tell people that are actually parents how to raise their kids, then you have a serious complex ignorance issue

[Inazuma]

Very rare to see such ignorance, even online. I do not even see why someone with any kind of brain power would try to tell a parent how to interact with and raise their children.

If you really think you universally understand all kids and can tell people that are actually parents how to raise their kids, then you have a serious complex ignorance issue

I don't see what's so horrible about just being honest with your kids and teaching them the truth.

My parents raised me to be religious. They also taught me that sex is bad, cursing is bad, being gay is bad, etc. I was watching hardcore porn when I was around 11 years old but I always felt bad about it because I thought I was doing something wrong. One time my parents found out that I was looking at porn on the internet and scolded me. And despite being bisexual my whole life, thanks to my parents, I ended up suppressing my gay side until much later in life.

If my parents had cut the bullshit and raised me better, everything would have been better. Instead I had to hide shit from them. Parents and children need to be open and honest with each other.

You may think you are doing good by hiding sex and violence from kids, but you are actually doing harm. Kids are not stupid. If you do a good job explaining things to them, they can handle sex and violence.

[AmishSamurai]

Very rare to see such ignorance, even online. I do not even see why someone with any kind of brain power would try to tell a parent how to interact with and raise their children.

If you really think you universally understand all kids and can tell people that are actually parents how to raise their kids, then you have a serious complex ignorance issue

I don't see what's so horrible about just being honest with your kids and teaching them the truth.

My parents raised me to be religious. They also taught me that sex is bad, cursing is bad, being gay is bad, etc. I was watching hardcore porn when I was around 11 years old but I always felt bad about it because I thought I was doing something wrong. One time my parents found out that I was looking at porn on the internet and scolded me. And despite being bisexual my whole life, thanks to my parents, I ended up suppressing my gay side until much later in life.

If my parents had cut the bullshit and raised me better, everything would have been better. Instead I had to hide shit from them. Parents and children need to be open and honest with each other.

You may think you are doing good by hiding sex and violence from kids, but you are actually doing harm. Kids are not stupid. If you do a good job explaining things to them, they can handle sex and violence.

No. You don't get it. The kids are fucking 3 years old. This is different. Leave your parent issues and leftover teenage angst out of this.