Help me sabotage my paper

[Flake]

The first half of the course was kinda rough. It begins with the establishment of the Rurik Dynasty and the Kieven Rus period.

About the time of the early-Muscovy / arrival of the Golden Horde the course picked up a lot. Mostly because the documentation of the events became a lot better. Ivan the Terrible was a pretty fun couple of classes.

The professor handles humor very well - he's one of those rare ones you hope to get for a course like this: He both enjoys the material AND teaching.

[slowslow325]

Reminds me of this:

[Jrecee]

I'll just post a paper I wrote about Cry the Beloved Country (I saw the movie) my senior year after I had given up.

Cry, The Beloved Country
The candle of beloved, country, cry, is but a shadowing glimmer of hope on the sad, depressed, continent, of Australia. Racial Segregation, Reflux anonomation, repeated degredation, musal fallopiation, and enterprisal consipation are all themes that are repeated throughout the book without as much as an ovial slapontatomamous. Cry, the Beloved Country, is nothing more than a shananigandery of moccasin dialysis, that has be concocted by a deranged, egocentrical mind. It’s voluptuous interrogative properties are all but ethical. The industrious aptitude of the entire 4th chapter, is an insidious attempt at allocating the previous chapter’s shortcomings. In all relevatude, its allocationry can not bring any more qualm like text onto the pages, through religious symbolism, nor the author’s attempt at a story of pain and suffering. If cry the beloved country is a masterpiece, than Goosebumps #7, Night of the Living Dummy, is a glimmering beam of light, sent from heaven, forcing its raging fire of reflective properties into the eyes of its readers, taking them to a level of being of which many can not comprehend. The story is that of the tale of the little duck that could walk no further. He attempted several times to get over the hill but the wind kept blowing. The wind is the story’s main character, Mufasa, and the author’s strenuous attempts at ineptitude is the duck that can not get past the wind, where D=Duck and W=Wind then D=W2 + V + X = D(M + V2 )S3 + 17½R. This equals failure on the part of Paton. Deductions for donated vehicles lowered taxpayers’ liability by $654 Million in 2000. However, the resistance of duck changed a production value by –15% +/-10%.

The first task that the author had when writing the book was of a great beast. Which is similar to the ancient story of the great beast. The beast wandered the plains endlessly, eating food from every tree he came across on his voyage. On the last day of Lent, the great beast found but one tree left. He tries to take a bite but the tree set on fire and burned the great beast’s eyes. The beast collapsed in pain and several little animals came and bit at his throat until he died. They ate his body. The little animals went on to find more food, but when they had found it, it set on fire and blinded them all. Like the beast, Payton devours all the food, and on lent, his book starts on fire and blinds him. No longer able to see, he can’t see the phosphorescents that is emitted from the deepest divulgence of his unapt apperception. His inefficacy toward the Jewish people in Cry, The Beloved Country, is that of someone of equal mindset as Adolph Hitler’s dog, Rocko. He rarely expresses the feeling of the Africans’ yearning for extrication, and when he does it is done with such stoicism that one can not bring themselves to relate to the paroxysm and torment.

Payton is missing several key ingredients. The book shouldn’t be read unless the author had made sure all these things had been included that they were in working order, much like the building of a dual-rotarizing ecto-cooling symmetrical reactor machine: You can have the auto-repeating mesmer flange, but without the internal bias locator in the OS/7 isolator channel, you have nothing. Other things that were missing from this book included a 4x7 Reflux Compass (vers. 7.0 not 8 ) and a captain planet action figure leg. The book also relates similarly to the art of alien anal probing. In that I would rather be probed by aliens than read it. The rectum has a unique physiological role as a sensory organ and differs in its afferent innervation from other gut organs that do not normally mediate conscious sensation. We compared the central processing of human esophageal, duodenal, and rectal sensation using cortical evoked potentials (CEP) in 10 healthy volunteers (age range 21-34 yr). Esophageal and duodenal CEP had similar morphology in all subjects, whereas rectal CEP had two different but reproducible morphologies. The rectal CEP latency to the first component P1 (69 ms) was shorter than both duodenal (123 ms; P = 0.008) and esophageal CEP latencies (106 ms; P = 0.004). The duodenal CEP amplitude of the P1-N1 component (5.0 µV) was smaller than that of the corresponding esophageal component (5.7 µV; P = 0.04) but similar to that of the corresponding rectal component (6.5 µV; P = 0.25). This suggests that rectal sensation is either mediated by faster-conducting afferent pathways or that there is a difference in the orientation or volume of cortical neurons representing the different gut organs. In conclusion, the physiological and anatomic differences between gut organs are reflected in differences in the characteristics of their afferent pathways and cortical processing.
The aptious integritude that is viagralously interned on flagrant afflictions of norwayitude is combusted internally toward the positive divulgence of serafliciousness. Coments by Paton that attempt to be witty hardly reach the level of the greats like witful Alex Trebark and Pat Sajak. The entire story comes off as developed as a rushed episode of Bucky O’hare. Only absent of any memorable characters such as Professor Mertenbock. The only thing missing is a guest appearance by Carrot Top himself who can’t help but teach Mufasa the money saving strategies of 1-800-Collect before he is shot by white supremacists. Paton’s ineptitude at projecting real life situations fall short of extravation while his delaying of evident snowpea excursions are involved in the manifestual relaying of his agricultural paleantology. The Garfield movie will suck.
The End

He faxed it to my dad and then told me if I ever needed to talk about anything he was available.

[nielse16]

My friend in college used a G.I. Joe reference.

"And knowing is half the battle."

[YoshiEgg25]

~snip~

I honestly want to know how you did this, and if I ever do a paper on that movie, if I can use this.

[Mendoza]

How does this professor handle humor? Most professors I know wouldn't handle these things well.

On another note, how has this class been? The course sounds interesting.

I know how i would react if one of my students did that.

That's quite impressive. Its totally unprofessional and I'm going to dock you for it pretty badly, but impressive all the same.

but I also had a student call me Ming the Merciless. I was just surprised he knew who that was.

[flojocabron]

add something about the 'tunguska explosion' it happened in siberia around that time too I think. it would be off topic and it would seem to fit in but not.

[hashiriya1]

[lisalover1]

I have the "Our Dumb World" atlas from The Onion; let's see what it says about Russia...

"Russia: Where Russians are sent to die."
"The last remaining beet in this city was split 2,143 ways."
"Russia is struggling to figure out how it fits into a post-soviet world, and where exactly half its nuclear arsenal went."
"Russia's most popular TV program: Wake Him With Stick"
"The Kremlin, a longtime symbol of Soviet power, has fallen apart twice in the past three years, and is now overrun by feral cats."
"While pessimism is rampant, Russians still have hope that the duct tape will hold on their many unmanned nuclear reactors."
"Stalin rose to power through the same means as any dictator: Overwhelming ruthlessness, a fanatic cult of personality, and a stupendous mustache."
"History, 1950: Stalin carves his 60 millionth notch on the ol' bedpost."
"History, 1725: By increasing the power of the Russian navy, introducing education reform, and modernizing the economy, 6'8" Peter the Great becomes Russia's most influential shaved bear."
"History, 1904: Russia loses the Russo-Japanese war after travelling all the way to Manchuria, only to realize they left their ammo on the counter at home."
"History, 862: In his most epic blunder, the legendary warrior Rurik founds Russia."
"History, 1544: Known for his tendancy to throw kittens out of the Kremlin windows, melt the elderly, and dance in the skin of flayed torture victims, Ivan the Terrible prompts many to worry about his upcoming teen years."
"Mother Russia needs a drink."

Yeah, most of it isn't for that time frame, but it's still funny.

[saturnfan]

I don't understand what you are trying to do... incorporate a funny sentence into your paper?

If you use "In Soviet Russia, vodka waste you!", it is going to be impossible to hide since the subject you are writing about, Russia and Napoleon, has nothing to do with Soviet Russia. It will stick out like a sore thumb.