The latest Friday the 13th

[Ack]

Ok, so while I'm a fan of horror, I've never really been into slasher films. I understand the idea behind them, I get what it's all about, but in general the films have always seemed so...insulting to me. I don't mean that the idea of an unkillable entity showing up and slaughtering a bunch of teenagers is insulting, I mean it's more that we keep getting the same rehash over and over again, becoming more and more stereotypical as time goes by, with more bizarre plots and less purpose beyond making a few extra bucks.

But I went to go see Friday the 13th this weekend, because I was asked to go. I had heard this was Michael Bay attempting to "reinvent" the genre, and I was interested in seeing where he planned on going with it. I was tragically let down. The two hours I spent in that theater did nothing to reinvigorate a genre that has become extremely stale do to numerous sequels and repeats of plots of lesser and lesser quality. In fact, Bay seemed to make it a point to hit every one of those stereotypes that ruins this type of film. Let's just go through a few.

First, the teenagers are motivated by all of three things: sex, drugs, and alcohol, with the exception of one character. That's it. There is no character motivation beyond this. Look, I'm young, I don't spend my days hounding over joints and getting absolutely trashed on cheap beer, and I'm not trying to sleep with anything that has a vagina and moves. In other words I'M TIRED OF MY ENTIRE GENERATION BEING DEPICTED THIS WAY! Not only is it wrong, it kills any interest I have in the characters. You want to make an effective horror film? Then I've GOT TO GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON THE SCREEN! And to top it off, they're idiots! If you combined the collective IQ of every character in that movie, it still wouldn't equal the number of hours in the day. I'd find it more disturbing if the killer were able to take out somebody who thinks rationally and could put up a fight. Instead we get the guy who's dumb enough to run over the one bear trap in the woods.

Second, I'm tired of ethnic and class-based stereotypes as well. The black guy makes racial jokes, wants to start a rap label, and smokes weed. The Asian guy can't get a girl and is a whiz with mechanical stuff. The rich white kid is a douche. The rural guy is a redneck hick with bad teeth and a sexual attraction to inanimate objects who looks like he wandered off the set of Deliverance thirty years too late. The white girls all have fake breasts and hair. Everybody dresses like an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. Bay, you had a real opportunity here, yet you squandered it you piece of shit hack.

Third, it's ok with me the first time the killer is standing right behind someone. It's not so inventive the second. By the fifth, you obviously just have no idea what you're doing. Now I do have to give you credit for a couple of inventive kills. The sleeping bag thing was impressive. And the way Jason tilts his head up while he's impaling the guy's neck with the screwdriver, as if it's something that requires precision and technique, I liked that. But every other kill, impaling people through boards with the machete or popping up right behind somebody with a fire poker while they open the door...come on, I wanted to guess every now and again how Jason was going to kill these people. It's not a good scene if we see it coming.

Now I do have to give credit to the guy who played Jason. He was big and imposing, and little things like the way he'd pull out his machete or how quickly he'd be on his feet after falling were impressive. But then again, the guy's done this role before, and he's been a stuntman for a decade now. I'm just glad he didn't need character motivation, since there wasn't any. We get a vague mention about Jason drowning, there are a few hints about his room and all that, and then...what? Nothing. Just snippets and allusions to something that never gets explained. Look, Bay, it's a remake. We're not supposed to know the plot, you have to give us something.

Instead we get some locket that kinda makes him stop for a moment, and an old woman who talks about some guy in the woods. And that's another thing...if Jason were dumb enough to keep killing locals, they'd go after him. He's obviously smart enough not to stray out of his territory too often...but he does in the film. Considering all the stuff that's built up around the lake, such as the rich kid's house...how long has Jason been out there? Did he only just start killing folks, and if so, why does some old woman know he's there? Why hasn't he killed building contractors, or the rich hunters, or anybody out looking for his earlier victims? It's implied he's smart, yet he does some dumb things to give himself away, mainly because of the horrendous script.

Ok, so if you haven't figured it out yet...this movie sucked and I hated it. Then again, I don't know if I should have expected anything more, considering the source material, but don't tell me you're gonna fix something and then hit every pitfall that's killing the genre. Don't bother with this, just watch the original.

[jp1]

I thought it was great. My wife and I saw it on valentines day in a packed theater and everyone in there was laughing, screaming, and having a good time along with the movie. I didn't have any expectations for it to be anything more than another Friday the 13th and it wasn't. I did like how fast and agile Jason was, he wasn't just slowly walking after each victim. I think the stereotypes that you mentioned are part of the original series and were left in place out of respect for the source material/fans...

In all I think it was recreated to be more action oriented than to reinvent the genre and make it more suited for an intellectual viewer. It was just a good time movie (like the old ones) and I think it was good for that.

Of course I respect your opinion as well and I'm not saying that you are "wrong". In fact I think you made some clear well thought out points. I just happen to disagree that they are relevant to this movie and it's target audience. Sorry that you didn't enjoy the movie.

As a side note: I am not a Michael Bay fan. I am not familiar with anything he has done besides "Transformers" and I haven't even seen that.

[DCsegaDH]

I seen it yesterday,I was kind of liked it in certain areas.I know what you mean by the stupid stereotypes,the whole movie was a stereotype.The kills are the main reason that the movie wasn't that bad,the best part was the beginning.It was a typical Jason move with sex,kills,and drugs,I wish it was as good as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake,that movie was awesome.

[Niode]

I hate the entire slasher genre. It's boring, dumb and worst of all, completely predictable. The only thing I hate more than the slasher genre is that awful gore porn genre. I liked Saw, I liked the twist and I liked the premise but it should have stayed at Saw. That leads me onto another reason why I generally don't like the horror genre as a whole are the endless sequels. They all get progressively worse, some of the originals aren't even worth watching anyway so I have no idea why they got drawn out for so long.

Zombie films are different. I can gladly watch anything with zombies in, I have no idea why. I really enjoy the zombie sub-genre.

Besides, the fact that it is a remake should have set the alarm bells ringing. Has there ever been a decent remake of a film? Ever?

[ubelaffe]

so first off - I'm a film studies major and I love slashers. I've seen quite a few.

My big question is how anyone could go into a Michael Bay film and expect anything but the feeling of depression, anguish and buyer's remorse. Michael Bay SUCKS!

That being said, I still want to see this, but I'm mad that we're remaking classics. Remember that this is a 1980 film. Everyone in the original was puffin' the green leaf and getting drunk. That's the series for you, the cool kids get wasted and the kid they picked on comes back from the dead to brutally mutilate them. It's not speaking on "your generation," but rather the youthful age of camp counselors who get sloshed and high at camp crystal lake.

[Limewater]

My big question is how anyone could go into a Michael Bay film and expect anything but the feeling of depression, anguish and buyer's remorse. Michael Bay SUCKS!

After reading Ack's opening post, I was going to post this, but then I saw ubelaffe had already done so. Michael Bay hit the peak of his career with the original "Got Milk?" commercial (Aawommmn Buww!).

Regarding decent film remakes:

Sure, there are decent remakes. John Carpenter's "The Thing", Peter Jackson's "King Kong", and Martin Scorsese's "The Departed" are all decent examples. Heck, I even thought that the new "Death Race" was actually more effective in a lot of ways than the original "Death Race 2000". "Ocean's Eleven" is also generally held to be superior to the original film.

[jonathang]

it look like crap i wouldn't never see it. i like original ones

[Ack]

Yeah, I've come to that conclusion about Bay as well.

I'm just saddened because I figured there might be a chance to do something different, and he squandered it. Perhaps if he had, people wouldn't have liked it because it wasn't like the last Friday the 13th related movies...you know, Freddy vs. Jason, Jason X, Jason Goes to Hell, Jason Takes Manhattan, and The New Blood.

I just wanted to see a change in the genre. We've gotten little ones, like Nightmare on Elm Street using dreams, or Scream, which did an excellent job parodying the genre while staying true to it. It just felt like this was going in the wrong direction.

And when I say my generation, I don't mean hearkening all the way back to the 1980s for this series, I'm more talking about films like Freddy vs. Jason, House of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave...you get the idea.

As for remakes...I do have to agree with Limewater, there are some good remakes. I feel John Carpenter nailed it with The Thing, as did Scorsese with The Departed. I also liked Savini's remake of Romero's Night of the Living Dead, and while the more recent Dawn of the Dead was different from the original, I enjoyed it for different reasons. While in general I'd say the original version of The Blob was better, the remake has its moments. I'd argue though that the rate at which Hollywood is putting them out is what's really bugging me these days. Only of a couple of the American films I saw last year weren't remakes or adapted from a comic book/television show/video game/book/etc., and I watch a lot of movies too.

[ubelaffe]

in response to that, I'd just like to remind everyone that Spielberg and Will Smith bought the rights to the oldboy manga...

[Niode]

in response to that, I'd just like to remind everyone that Spielberg and Will Smith bought the rights to the oldboy manga...

Epic Fail


As far as the decent remakes goes. You've listed 5 movies so far out of hundreds and hundreds of awful remakes your country keeps on constantly shitting out.

I'm not far off the mark when I say remakes suck.