What was the last movie you've seen?

[noiseredux]

Off to see 50 SHADES OF GREY. I hope it is as silly as I've heard.

yeah I brought my wife as well. It was about what I expected. I've sat thru worse movies though.

[jp1]

50 SHADES OF GREY

afro bush
"I'm fifty shades of fucked up".
If you have a nipple and hairy bush fetish, see this. If you love seeing people bite things, see this.
Nipple enthusiasts, you'll love it, so I'll give credit where it is due.

"This movie is the best!" Raves the "Nipple Enthusiast Monthly"!
"The most afro bush I've seen all year." - "African Garden Weekly".
"People bit things. A lot! It was great." Exclaims "The American Dental Association".
"There is no plot, no real character development, the acting is heinous at best!" - Michael Bay

Seriously though, I suffered through Twilight...so I vetoed this one.

[BoneSnapDeez]

I read about 20 pages of the book. The writing was shockingly bad. Middle school level at best.

[AppleQueso]

I mean it's based on a book that was originally written as a twilight fanfic so I mean

[jp1]

I mean it's based on a book that was originally written as a twilight fanfic so I mean

Really, twlight fanfic ripoff? I don't see how it could be bad then.

[Fragems]

Went and saw Taken 3 today and wasn't to impressed. I really hope this is the last film in the series because with each new entry the quality seems to go even farther down.

Forest Whitaker was also completely wasted by this film. He didn't really do much other then go around pointing out the obvious while playing with his rubber band bracelet and a chess piece .

[Ack]

Captain Blood

Before he was a supposed bisexual Nazi(probably not true) and a pedophile(probably true), Errol Flynn was an actor. And before he became the major action-adventure star of the late 1930s, he starred in this, the film that made his name. Flynn portrayed the titular captain, a fictitious character likely borne in part from the life of Henry Pitman, an English surgeon who treated a Monmouth rebel during the Revolution of 1688 and was sold into slavery as a result. Pitman's story was examined and retooled by Rafael Sabatini in 1922 to create Dr. Henry Blood, who would go on to become a dreaded pirate captain in the Caribbean, first in a novel and later in three collections of short stories covering his fictional exploits.

The film Captain Blood is actually a remake of a silent film version of the book that was released around 1923. Warner Bros. saw a resurgence in the pirate genre in the mid-1930s and decided to give it a go with the young Flynn as the lead. And it worked! Flynn made for a charismatic captain in a violent pirate drama from the early days of the Hays Code's enforcement. There are moments where it still manages to get in a bit of the racy pre-code mentality, though overall the movie has a light-hearted touch. Still, it made for a hell of a lot of fun seeing Blood finagle his way out of slavery after having the rudest political awakening imaginable. And the film features some excellent twists and turns as politics on an island thousands of miles away ends up completely changing the lives and minds of Blood and his crew. I had a blast watching this.



The Man in the Iron Mask

Alexandre Dumas is one of the greatest authors to have ever lived, and his works are infinitely memorable. He ended his series on the life of D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers on a final sad note, with D'Artagnan's death in the third part of The Vicomte of Bragelonne. The third portion is The Man in the Iron Mask, which Dumas adapted based on speculation concerning a strange prisoner in the Bastille from 1670 to 1703 whose face was kept concealed.

Film versions modified Dumas' work in various ways, but this one, the 1939 film version, basically set the template for all future revisions(including the 1998 version with Leonardo DiCaprio). In this film, the Musketeers have been ordered to protect and watch over the twin brother of the Prince of France, but the King dies, and the new Prince takes over...and then proves he's an evil little bastard. Eventually he learns of his brother and has him imprisoned and his face locked in a hideous helmet, and it is up to the aging Musketeers to rescue their charge but also save the kingdom and its alliance with Spain. And they go about doing just that, often at the tip of a sword.

There was violence and death, though often slightly obscured, and there was sex, though merely alluded to and never specifically mentioned. There was also a spectacular stunt with a carriage driver falling onto his horses and falling beneath them and under the carriage. I hope that guy got paid extra. At times this movie feels a little ridiculous due to the King's antics, but overall, I liked it. Also of note is Peter Cushing in his earliest film role.

Also funny enough, Louis Hayward played both King Louis and his brother Philippe. A decade later he also starred as Captain Blood in two films based on Sabatini's stories.

[Luke]

Haven't seen it but

"What Lifetime writers would consider S&M to be"

is exactly what I was expecting and that's the perfect quote to summarize it. I envisioned a lot of couples seeing it then going and buying a wal-mart brand leather whip, then having boring sex while sort of not knowing what to do with it.

I remember leaving the theater after watching the first FAST & THE FURIOUS and both gals guys and gals left driving their cars like lunatics. The viewers left with their engines revved and in the red.

I thought even if the movie was bad, my wife and I would leave this movie with our hormonal engines revving in the same way. Not even close. We left talking about flip phones and how dumb the script was. And when writing my summary I had to delete the phrase "Idiot Plot" as that would be an insult to idiot plots. Somehow the movie makes two very attractive people having simulated sex unattractive.

The only way I could imagine this movie being slightly enjoyable would to see it with Tyler Perry as Madea. "Oh girl, you know you fakin it". "How he just break into yo house? He woulda had four rounds in him before the lights came on". "Ain't no white man whippin me, hells to the no!", and so forth.

This could have worked if it wasn't the coattails of the book (which I've heard is pretty lousy as well). Ya know, like if Bruce Wayne had a kinky sex life that was actually kinky that involved actual sex. For me, this movie is what Mike D aid about other rappers, "You think you're chocolate milk but you're watered down yoo-hoo".

[MrPopo]

Forest Whitaker was also completely wasted by this film. He didn't really do much other then go around pointing out the obvious while playing with his rubber band bracelet and a chess piece .

You gotta give his character credit for not underestimating Liam Neeson through the movie. He just misses that final step of realizing he needs to get rid of his underlings who do. But we do have to have a movie, after all.

[Luke]

Taken 3

Forest Whitaker was also completely wasted by this film.

The entire film was a waste, so you gotta give him that.