What Made you Smile/What Ticked you off Today?

[samsonlonghair]

Regarding family obligation:
My maternal grandmother is ultra-catholic. She invites me to come stay with her every month when I telephone her. I politely decline. I know perfectly well that my grandmother does not approve of my "living in sin" lifestyle. As such, I do not for a moment imagine that I will be staying in her home. One phone call per month is just enough interaction for my taste. I call her often enough that she knows I am still alive. This is enough family obligation for me.

[Luke]

I do not understand why people feel so shackled to the associations they have due to accident of birth, a.k.a. your family. And I'll preface by saying I have a good relationship with my family. But the reason that's true is because there's a lot of mutual respect amongst us. What gets me is when people are like "my sister is a complete asshole to me, but I gotta stick with her because she's family". Behavior that would be unacceptable in any other context is apparently ok when it's a relative doing it.

Agreed. I have no issues of saying I think my Sister is nuts for giving her three year old an iPad and iPod, and to me it is silly to rent out a country club and have a catered birthday party for her one year old. Would I ever call her dumb for doing so? No way Jose.

That's her decision to make, and it doesn't matter if I find it a bit over the top. And that's not simply because she is my Sister, it's because I love 'er.



Edit* Holy cow. After I finished this post my wife and I went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, during the post church rush, and we got home around five minutes ago. That's probably our world record. Happened with luck though. The lines were backed up further than I have ever seen, and while "lane shopping" we got a "I can take you on 18". Bless that woman.

[AmishSamurai]

but he is still blood and I owe him a debt for all that he has done for me.

This is not targeted to your specific situation, but rather this general sentiment. I do not understand why people feel so shackled to the associations they have due to accident of birth, a.k.a. your family. And I'll preface by saying I have a good relationship with my family. But the reason that's true is because there's a lot of mutual respect amongst us. What gets me is when people are like "my sister is a complete asshole to me, but I gotta stick with her because she's family". Behavior that would be unacceptable in any other context is apparently ok when it's a relative doing it.

It took me over 20 years to learn this, and is still the most important thing I have learned.

[lisalover1]

but he is still blood and I owe him a debt for all that he has done for me.

This is not targeted to your specific situation, but rather this general sentiment. I do not understand why people feel so shackled to the associations they have due to accident of birth, a.k.a. your family. And I'll preface by saying I have a good relationship with my family. But the reason that's true is because there's a lot of mutual respect amongst us. What gets me is when people are like "my sister is a complete asshole to me, but I gotta stick with her because she's family". Behavior that would be unacceptable in any other context is apparently ok when it's a relative doing it.

Absolutely. Your main obligation is to yourself, and it shouldn't matter who it is that is treating you like this. For your own sake, you should not have to put up with that.

[mjmjr25]

Your main obligation is to yourself.

I'm on the wrong forum.

[lisalover1]

Your main obligation is to yourself.

I'm on the wrong forum.

Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words... I guess I just meant to say that you shouldn't sacrifice your own mental health for someone that treats you badly on a regular basis.

[Luke]

Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words... I guess I just meant to say that you shouldn't sacrifice your own mental health for someone that treats you badly on a regular basis.

Or sacrifice your happiness either.

[pepharytheworm]

Your main obligation is to yourself.

I'm on the wrong forum.

I took what she said as loving oneself. It's like do you love your family out of obligation or because you truly developed your love for them. Obligation causes toxic relationships in which I feel real selfish behavior comes from.

I want to do things because it makes me feel better about myself not what others will think of me. By the way I feel great helping those I love, and even those I don't

[Hobie-wan]

Your main obligation is to yourself.

I'm on the wrong forum.

It is good to help others, but sometimes you just reach the point where you have to realize that you aren't helping and both parties are simply being made more miserable. Hopefully someone else is found that can help, but sometimes you just have to cut yourself loose.

[lisalover1]

Your main obligation is to yourself.

I'm on the wrong forum.

I took what she said as loving oneself. It's like do you love your family out of obligation or because you truly developed your love for them. Obligation causes toxic relationships in which I feel real selfish behavior comes from.

I want to do things because it makes me feel better about myself not what others will think of me. By the way I feel great helping those I love, and even those I don't

Thank you; that's more what I meant to say. Sorry if it came off as selfish when I first said it!