Random Thoughts Thread

[TSTR]

Forlorn, you are not your father, or your grandfather, or anyone else but YOU in YOUR particular situation. I, like many others here, put off getting professional help for WAY TOO LONG, until it got to the point where I would wake up crying almost every day and want to go lie on the train tracks outside of the shitty place I was working and wait for a steel behemoth to come crush me to death. And like you, I had no clue really why I felt like this. Still haven't got it figured out. And I've got ten years on you, so age ain't a factor either.

Yeah, I still feel like a piece of shit loser a lot of the time, but now that I'm on meds and seeing a doc, I can at least feel like I'm trying something. Stewing in your own shit only makes you stinkier, and that's one of the hardest things to realize. Sometimes you just need someone to help hose you down.

[Forlorn Drifter]

I really don't think I'm depressed, I think I'm just a sad sack of shit with an inferiority complex. I do apply that view to myself because it makes sense. If I came from them, I should be able to be like them, shouldn't I? I've also never understood how they always managed to be considered good looking, as was my father, yet I'm ugly as hell, but I'm not one to try and figure out why when it comes to something like that.

I've had a million and one advantages over the rest of the men in my family, and so far I've done nothing but worse than them. Its shit, and I'm shit for it.

[TSTR]

I really don't think I'm depressed, I think I'm just a sad sack of shit with an inferiority complex. I do apply that view to myself because it makes sense.

No, your brain is just telling you that it makes sense. That's what things like depression and anxiety do—they make you think that all the horrible stuff your brain cooks up is probably true.

[Forlorn Drifter]

Well, I've never had anyone say anything (IRL, not on here) to give me any idea that these things aren't true. Especially when I put down my looks, I've never really been told I'm good looking by anybody.

[o.pwuaioc]

If I came from them, I should be able to be like them, shouldn't I?

You forget you had a mother, two grandmothers, another grandfather, and great grandparents, etc.

You are not qualified to evaluate yourself properly. Do the right thing, Forlorn. Talk to an expert. Then you can call yourself a sack of shit if you want to.

I see you ignored the military advice.

[Forlorn Drifter]

If I came from them, I should be able to be like them, shouldn't I?

You forget you had a mother, two grandmothers, another grandfather, and great grandparents, etc.

You are not qualified to evaluate yourself properly. Do the right thing, Forlorn. Talk to an expert. Then you can call yourself a sack of shit if you want to.

I see you ignored the military advice.

Neither of my grandfathers wanted to or would have joined the military if not drafted. And I don't have the physical abilities to be military. I don't even know if they'll consider me due to my asthma.

And not qualified to evaluate myself? As true as that probably is, I don't feel as though anyone else is all that qualified either, schooling for it or not.

[Ack]

If I came from them, I should be able to be like them, shouldn't I?

You forget you had a mother, two grandmothers, another grandfather, and great grandparents, etc.

You are not qualified to evaluate yourself properly. Do the right thing, Forlorn. Talk to an expert. Then you can call yourself a sack of shit if you want to.

I see you ignored the military advice.

Neither of my grandfathers wanted to or would have joined the military if not drafted. And I don't have the physical abilities to be military. I don't even know if they'll consider me due to my asthma.

And not qualified to evaluate myself? As true as that probably is, I don't feel as though anyone else is all that qualified either, schooling for it or not.

You'd be surprised. Unless it is you don't trust anyone with an education to understand their field.

The truth is, you really aren't qualified to evaluate yourself because you're a biased source and you're not knowledgeable of psychological problems that can occur, or what symptoms manifest. You may not even be aware of the vast differences between sociopathic and neurotic personality types, or understand that Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder are entirely different diseases, or that Depression is different from an anxiety disorder. And what you find to be "normal reality" may not be at all.

And as for the military, I'm the first male in four generations on my father's side not to join in some capacity. At my age, my father had two kids and had done tours in Grenada and Panama. My grandfather had at least three kids and done a tour in Vietnam. My great-grandfather had emigrated from Ireland and done a tour in WWII. My younger cousin has a Purple Heart, has been in both Iraq and Afghanistan, and has been medically discharged from the Army due to permanent injury resulting from a paratrooper accident. One of my stepbrothers graduates in a few months from West Point and has already been to the Ukraine, Kazakhstan, and Poland for the US Army. He's also on the US Army skydiving team. And me, I'm a librarian. Yet my father respects me, my cousin thinks I'm a good guy, and my stepbrother looks up to me. So what if they're all military and I'm not?

[Forlorn Drifter]

Them being in the military wasn't the point when I mentioned it, the point is that at my age they had been places and done things I probably couldn't do if I worked at. I should be at that level, but I'm not. I'm in the same shape my grandfather was after being married 20 years and having kids. At my age, I should have a flat stomach and be able to lift the back end of a truck by myself, not be roly poly and only able to carry two feed bags at once.

In my family, avoidance of military service is the norm. The only family who went got drafted or went to get less time than if they had been drafted, excluding the ones in the civil war.

[Hobie-wan]

I should be at that level, but I'm not.

Maybe you "should", and maybe it doesn't matter and you should do your own thing. Sitting around isn't going to get you anywhere though.

[oxymoron]

Anyone know the quality of Gamestop shirts? I won a Diablo 3 GS for dirt cheap on ebay and was wondering. They usually sell them for $15 so I expect some quality.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/251436084417?ss ... 1497.l2649