When Does Collecting Become a Problem?

[cookie monster]

Collecting has become a issue at my home already. Foxhound has bought games and hid them in the car thinking i would never find them. He constantly ignores me for games and online stuff it makes me feel worthless sometimes. But no amount of fighting and game hoarding is gonna change how i feel about him. I know that collecting is what makes him happy so i just deal with it.

I don't want to be too nosy, but I don't think just dealing with it is the best thing to do. In 10 or 20 years you might have built up a lot of resentment after being made to feel worthless repeatedly. It may seem like a little thing to put up with, but little things add up. If you value the relationship the best thing to do is find a workable compromise now so you're both getting what you want out of it. Just dealing with it is how people grow apart.

I have repeatedly tried discussing it with him to no avail so i gave up trying.
The only compromise i can come to is go places with him for games.

[Nintendork666]

This thread really makes me wanna sell off a good chunk of my collection.

... maybe.

[prfsnl_gmr]

This thread really makes me wanna sell off a good chunk of my collection.

... maybe.

I hope that in inspires a similar reaction from other members...because I'm always buying!

[BoneSnapDeez]

If I ever "get over" video gaming selling this collection is going to be tons of fun.

[WrathOskvro]

I have repeatedly tried discussing it with him to no avail so i gave up trying.
The only compromise i can come to is go places with him for games.

Not to get too far off subject, but if you simply 'settle' with someone when you're not happy, you are doing nothing other than wasting your life. I hope I'm not coming off as rude or arrogant when I say that but it is the truth no matter how you look at it. Do not settle. You will regret it.


On another note.. o_o Yeah I'm actually going to probably be downsizing my collection just a bit. I'm running out of space, and it sucks. My teeny tiny room is just starting to look like an antique electronics shop or something XD Not necessarily a bad thing, but seeing things just stacked up on top of each other due to lack of space.. o_o It's getting irritating.

[Blu]

I've started slimming down anything that I don't have an interest in playing, or that I've enjoyed from my childhood. If there's stuff that I've played through recently/will play and it really struck me and it's considered a "classic," I'll keep it around. Either it's on my backlog and I know the mood will strike me, or I've played it before and I'll get the urge to play it again. If not, then I consider the nostalgia factor. I certainly won't sell any game that I had as a kid, or if I've received as a gift (unless it's absolutely rubbish, then maybe).

I've got some extra stuff that, well, it just isn't my thing. It's probably better in the hands of someone that appreciates it more than I will. I'm fairly limited on space, too. Maybe smarter storage solutions would be worthwhile, but I enjoy having my favorite stuff on display.

Still, there's nothing harmful with collecting or any other hobby as long as you don't let it take over your life. Find some balance in coordination with every other part of your life, and you'll narrow the chance of having conflicts due to your hobbies and interests. It takes practice and self-control, that's all.

[Lodestar]

I have repeatedly tried discussing it with him to no avail so i gave up trying.
The only compromise i can come to is go places with him for games.

Not to get too far off subject, but if you simply 'settle' with someone when you're not happy, you are doing nothing other than wasting your life. I hope I'm not coming off as rude or arrogant when I say that but it is the truth no matter how you look at it. Do not settle. You will regret it.

The problem with this mentality is that it encourages people to leave at the drop of the hat because their mate is not the beacon of perfection they expected. It goes without saying: everyone has their "vice" or hobby that's going to compete for attention in a relationship, obviously this guy just wants to enjoy some time alone and he feels guilty, thanks to the nagging from his mate.

Compromise and acceptance are better bits of advice to give than just telling someone to leave because they don't like one facet of someone's personality. Everyone settles in the end, it's just a matter of when--if you spend your life looking for that perfect person, you will probably end up alone. I had an ex that would always get on my case about buying any kind of game (which was not even often) just because I didn't share her frugal spending habits--in the end, what's more damaging? Preventing someone from enjoying something they love and not accepting that they're different.

[alexis524]

I had a loong reply ready, but can just sum it up with this - balance.

I've been married 11 years now, have been playing/collecting for 20+ years and I always am conscious of not becoming unbalanced with keeping
things in their proper place. I am a strong advocate in feeling that everyone needs an outlet (healthy one) to deal with life in general. Stuff is hard and
full of anxiety no matter our lot in life, and a hobby helps us keep sane in an insane world. I know how passionate most are here with their collections, but they're
just things, but people are people and if we neglect them, then there will be consequences.

To the TC, i'm sorry to hear about your fiance, and hope that the both of you can work it out. Dunno if it's been suggested yet, but maybe just box up and store your collection and give it some time, a few months, and see how you feel, but selling off a large portion of your collection as a reactionary move since it was partly the cause of your fiances decision to leave, I think you would severely regret. Give it some time and it'll all work itself out. Keep your head up

[soul_hacker]

To me, any hobby, or anything for that matter becomes a problem when it completely consume one's life. It doesn't matter if the person isn't having financial issues with it. To me, it's when it starts effecting one's personal life.

For me, I have bad spending habits at times. I will buy stuff at random when I get stressed. It's not always games, but it usually is. I dl keep myself in check and make sure that I am in good financial standing though. Hell, I even went to digital press this weekend, and I didn't pick anything up. Half because they didn't really have what I was looking for, half because the stuff that I would have been okay picking up just to have, the prices didn't seem worth it to me. Maybe this means I'm growing up? I think it's mostly that I am getting REALLY cheap since going to flea markets so often...

[ChimairaGT]

There was a point when I had hundreds of games for many systems, shelved like a library with crates of systems and controllers. My wife (then girlfriend) never had any major issues with it since I at least kept it all in my office area of the house. It never bled out into the rest of the house. I had a couple of major revelations which made me completely change my collecting habits. First, I got addicted to watching "Clean House" on Style. Basically, they deal with families who are not crazy enough to be on "Hoarders," but on their way there. I realized that I was surrounded by many games that I would never play, or had played once and will likely never play again. Basically, their function had gone from being something fun to play to being something to sit on a shelf. Second, my dad died a few years ago. He had a MASSIVE library of CDs (tens of thousands), books (thousands if not tens of thousands), and LPs (hundreds). When he died, I was left to deal with inheriting piles and piles of things that I had neither the interest nor space to keep. I didn't want to develop the sorts of habits that create that kind of burden for my prospective family.

I started by selling off the games and systems that I knew I would never play. Then I got rid of the ones that I had played but won't play again. Then I trimmed it down to my absolute favorite games. Then, I came to the realization that most of my favorite games could be replaced with digital copies from the Virtual Console, PSN, or Steam, so the physical copies went out the window. Next, I got rid of anything for a system that couldn't be emulated, such that if I REALLY wanted to play those games I would have an outlet for them. By the time I was done, I had my Wii and PS3, for digital library access and modern games, and my Saturn.

The only console I collect for is my Saturn. Being focused on a particular system allows me to explore the depth of the available library as opposed to the breadth over many systems. Also, it seriously restricts how much space it takes up. For anything else, I can go digital should I get the urge to play it, either through legitimate or illegitimate means.

These were all preemptive strikes against collecting becoming a problem, and I am happy about it. If your collecting starts to become a strain on your relationships, you may have a problem (though it might not be the collection).