Might as well make one; Cloverfield Thread.

Post by **Mozgus** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:21 am

Spoilers, most likely.

What did you all think of it? I went in expecting massive suck like other viral marketing movies have provided, but I was surprised. The action and suspense was some of the finest I've experienced in a long time. The CGI may be the new benchmark in film. I can usually tell the difference between CGI animation and real motions, but I've never seen the two blended together so perfectly like this. The set designs are freaking amazing. The pacing and direction were flawless. The acting did not disappoint at all. I felt some legitimate terror from the characters, as well as noticed the psychological effects events like this would impart on a person.

The bad? Well, there's a good bit. For one, these people weren't really likable at all. In fact, after 15 minutes into the movie, I told my friend that if 80% or more of these characters did not die, I would not be pleased. Fortunately, I was pleased.

The ending will surely give you blue balls. One could argue that the other routes they could have taken would have been much more cliche, but sometimes you just want to see a big monster get blown all to shit and stay dead.

What the fuck brand of camera was that? Whatever it was, I want one. That thing survived the full-scale bombing of Manhattan somehow, as well as all the prior chaos, just to be later confiscated by the government.

The monster seemed god damn hell bent on taking out the camera. It always seemed to be coming for the lead characters, even putting itself in the way of additional firepower, and then ignoring it. What the hell? Is it camera shy? It got the smack-down layed on it by the stealth bombers, but rushes through the smoke just to whack their chopper out of the sky. At the end, we even get the money shot when it leans down just to eat Jokey McJokester. The thing probably burned more calories leaning down than he collected from the guy's lower torso, assuming that's what was bitten off.

I would have liked a little reasoning on what exactly happened to the gothy girl behind that curtain with the explosion of blood soon after. She got bit by one of the spider crabs, began complaining about feeling dizzy of course, and then blood was coming out her eyes. Immediately medics tackle her, drag her away and then her head seems to explode. It sort of looked like the medic jabbed something in her, it was hard to see. What the hell happened? Judging from the reaction from the personnel, she posed a threat to people around her. Now unless her blood was toxic, I fail to see how an exploding head would be cause for THAT much force. Did she have a spider crab baby in her or something?

Literally no explanation as to the source of the monster, other than one character's own speculation that matched my own; it being from the ocean. It just seemed to have a lot of oceanic features. There's a lot of 14 year old Matlocks on IMDB claiming that there was a scene where it showed the thing crashing to earth, but I must have missed it. I'll wait until I see the clip posted as proof.

The kids mentioned above also claim there was something after the credits that you HAVE to see, but we stayed and saw nothing. If it was that stupid faint garbled radio message before the end logos, then that's not worth all the attention, especially since no one can agree on what it actually said. Some people even say you have to play it backgrounds. Oh boy, like we haven't heard that shit before.

When it took out the bridge and killed the main character's brother, it must have taken the damn thing at least 60 seconds to walk up next to it and strike it down with it's tail. Why did none of the thousands of people notice the thing coming to greet them until 1 second before action?

Still, good movie.

Post by **lordofduct** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:45 am

I lol'd

Post by **Mozgus** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:50 am

lordofduct wrote:I lol'd

Prepare for more lulz. I have to share this post I found

gsibble wrote:So Cloverfield SUCKED. And I was REALLY excited to see it. Where should I start? I have started to compile a list of reasons why it sucked.

*Many Spoilers Below*

1. People LAUGHED when the credits ran. My friends (who I siked up for the movie) are considering asking for their money back. The ending was not "artistic" or anything like that, it was JJ Abrams being a douchebag and not willing to come up with a real ending.
2. They walked 40+ blocks in that *beep* tunnel. That would take HOURS.
3. Nothing makes sound apparently!!
-The soldiers in the department store were 10 feet away before you heard them.
-They stumbled onto a major field medical post without hearing it, but there was a bright light!
-The monster basically just APPEARED over them at the end, no sound of it approaching
4. Regular bombs don't work (see B2 carpet bombing.....and they wouldn't use a B2 anyways, they'd use B-52s) so the only thing that the "hammer" could have been was a nuclear weapon which somehow managed to not destroy the camera
5. His cell phone dies but the camera battery lasts forever?!?!?!
6. Batteries for cell phones are already charged when you buy them?!!?
7. The monster constantly changes in size!! First, it's tail is longer than the width of the bridge. Then, it's about 40 stories tall (when they were on top of the building). Then, it's small enough to get a good look at it and creep up on them in central park. And I don't believe there was more than one....characters in the movie would have talked about that.
8. Those spider things are pussies!!! Like 8 of them couldn't take down 4 humans?? One of them lost on a 1v1 in the stairwell!! I mean, they aren't very terrifying if all their good for is looking ugly! A tiger is literally more dangerous than a spider from outer space!
9. I have a great idea! These people look banged up and are bleeding all over. Let's NOT ask them if any of them have been bitten. Let's just totally forget about that until we all decide to freak out randomly when we see she has been bitten.
10. Yah, the nice solder who lets them out the back door. I'll totally believe that one
11. How the *beep* do you get an M1 abrams into midtown New York City in approximately 2 hours? Do you have any idea what every inlet to the city would be like? Bumper to bumper traffic!
12. Speaking of which, where were the cars to begin with!!! People wouldn't flee on foot, they'd try driving first! Hell, we saw them all on the bridge but other than that, the streets were entirely clear! There would be abandoned cars blocking everything!
13. Where are all of the *beep* bodies?! If this thing is going around crushing everything in its path, there would be bodies and body parts and blood everywhere. Nothing! (this could have been intentional which is scary for sure....but there would still be body parts around)
14. If this monster takes like 45 seconds to look over every person that it eats, it's going to spend a lot of time in New York. Oh, and let's only eat 1 of the tasty humans, not all 3 of them. Because two of them love each other.
15. STOP SHAKING THE GOD DAMNED CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All 3 of us almost got sick! I had to look away to stop spinning like a dozen times! It was pointless! It didn't help with the reality and just made the movie seem cheap and halfassed.
16. HUD or whatever his name is has a serious problem with his wrist. 75% of the movie, the shot was taken as if the camera was tilted to the right, including many "stationary" shots. As above, this does NOT add to the belief that this might be real. No one *beep* holds a camera like that. They hold it straight! I don't want to sit for over an hour with my head tilted to the side!
17. The monster would definitely leap about 700 feet into the air to bite at a single helicopter, especially after being just hit with about 30,000lbs of explosives.
18. That guy's apartment would have cost about $2m. From the roof it looked like he was near a park which means it would cost even more. I don't care what it seems like he does for a living. They joke early in the movie, "At least now he can afford to call us" like he's poor. They're trying to connect the character with the audience. The guy is LOADED if he lives in a place that big with extremely high ceilings. People in their mid twenties do NOT make enough money to live in a place like that. And they don't get VP positions at some random company in Japan.
19. Beth's Dad's apartment would have been about $5m. Time Warner center is a big time address.
20. Did I mention the spiders were pussies? Oh, they can take out a soldier with a gun, but not a man in love with an axe!! Love conquers all *beep*
21. I knew the ENTIRE plot before I went in!!!! I had seen so many trailers that I could have told you EXACTLY what was going to happen! There were NO surprises, NO answers, and we only see one person explode?? Where are all of the other exploding people!?
22. Male friends do not all console their emo friend during a party, especially one with a lot of hot chicks. They make fun of him, punch him in the balls, and get him laid. Especially if he has that kickin apartment and pulls down major dough.
23. So the girl that got bitten happens to have the highest pain tolerance of all womankind? No crying, screaming, writhing in pain, complaining. Nothing? Most women scream monthly from about two tablespoons of blood.
24. Let's not break down and believe this isn't happening or anything like that. This isn't like the apocalypse or a nightmare or anything. No, let's just calmly walk 40 blocks through a pitch black subway tunnel and pretend your brother didn't just die a horrible death. *beep*, a Marine broke down crying from NOT being able to kill someone in Jarhead!! But no, these people have incredible resolve and ability to deal with horrendous situations. And they happen to have a camera. And they care more about filming than their own survival.
25. So the giant monster is invulnerable but the pussy spiders can be killed by a GIRL with a random piece of steel??? Wow.
26. Pilot: Our flight path out of hell will take us directly over Manhattan and the monster. Passenger: Really? Why don't we just fly over the water since that's where we boarded the chopper? Wouldn't that be safer? Pilot: You wanted to evacuate? This is a tour helicopter!
27. My wrists hurt too much to keep typing. I have many more though.

*beep* movie. I was bigtime excited to see this. I am a big sci-fi/horror fan and was extremely disappointed.

Things I liked about the movie:

1. The people of a certain race celebrating when they unlocked the electronics store. That was the most believable scene in the entire movie.

CLIFFS: Cloverfield SUCKED

Post by **lordofduct** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:28 am

had a feeling of all that... that' why I refused to go see when everyone and their brother called me release night to go. Come on, 11 dollars to sit in a packed theatre of idiots who don't know how to shut up (remembers "I am Legend" and the whore with her 2 kids next to me teaching her kids how to say Will Smith is sexy and to smoke pot). No thank you, I went out for drinks and sex over an A/C vent instead.

Post by **mason** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:35 am

your a pretty angry and negative person lordofduct. anyways in the movie I am legend, those things are vampires. and the kicker is that they consider will smith to be a monster. get it? They live their own little lives, own civizliation just like human beings. And during the only time they are vurnerable aka sleeping during the day the monster comes out and steals their blood.

Post by **lordofduct** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:09 am

mason wrote:your a pretty angry and negative person lordofduct. anyways in the movie I am legend, those things are vampires. and the kicker is that they consider will smith to be a monster. get it? They live their own little lives, own civizliation just like human beings. And during the only time they are vurnerable aka sleeping during the day the monster comes out and steals their blood.

??

ok...

Post by **Droid party** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:23 am

I went to see Juno the other night and a few of my friends came out as I was going in. I asked them what they watched and they said Cloverfield, I thought great, I'll ask what they thought. Thier reply was a little disheartening, they told me it was ok but they were laghing at most of it.

To anyone who is interested, Juno was good.

Post by **mason** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:40 am

i was being honest just like you. but anyways man juno was good but it wasn't funny.

Post by **Adderall** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 8:29 am

Well, I saw cloverfield last night. I had not seen any trailers beforehand and I enjoyed it.

I did notice some scaling issues with the big monster (he's as tall as skyscrapers in the city, yet when they're in the park he seems only about 20 stories high). But I really don't care about all the other stuff they pointed out in that list earlier. I mean, come on, not everything has to be straight up perfect.. that's why it's a movie. If whoever wrote that is wondering how they got tanks into NYC so fast, they should first wonder about the believability of a GIANT MONSTER in NYC. At some point you have to stop splitting hairs and just enjoy what is being presented to you (or not enjoy it, but based on preference and not how factual it is).

Post by **aaron** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:34 am

lordofduct wrote:
mason wrote:your a pretty angry and negative person lordofduct. anyways in the movie I am legend, those things are vampires. and the kicker is that they consider will smith to be a monster. get it? They live their own little lives, own civizliation just like human beings. And during the only time they are vurnerable aka sleeping during the day the monster comes out and steals their blood.
??

ok...

haha i lol'd pretty hard at this