Best man speech

[dlmvii]

So I'm to be the best man for my friend's wedding this saturday....and I'm nervous as hell about the best man speech. I've been reading a lot on the internet about how to give the best one, but a lot of the ideas seem so corny. I don't know the bride that well either (my friend was deployed in another part of the country, where he met his bride. I've met her maybe 3-4 times).
Has anyone been a best man or a groom that can give me any pointers?

[AppleQueso]

idk my supposedly best friend got married and didn't even bother inviting me to the wedding at all so I wouldn't know what to do as a best man

he doesn't talk to me much these days

I wonder if his new wife has anything to do with that

whatever sorry don't mean to steal your thread

[l0whit07]

I was in a very similar situation last August. My fiend is in the military and met his wife. I barely knew her and only met her a couple times as well.

I hate talking in big groups of people, even when surrounded by my best friends. Anyway to try and help out. I too researched tips and hints online. What I did was write down my speech and keep in my tux the entire day. I looked at it every chance I got. If you know the speech inside and out it will take away a lot of the nerves since you can be confident in what you're saying.

Make sure you include to compliment the bride's beauty, and have at least 1 or 2 parts that will draw a laugh. People are in great moods at weddings and will laugh at anything. Also of course let your best friend know you'll miss him. Look at the bride and groom when you are talking to them too .

Basically just be yourself and say what you feel. The speech is for the groom, bride and yourself only.

Well that is my 2 cents worth. Hope it helps in anyway. Good luck!

[fastbilly1]

Speak from the heart, that is all I can say. If you dont believe what you are saying itll be alot harder.

Ive not been the Bestman but I have given a dozen Groomsmen speechs.

[sevin0seven]

i was a best man for my younger sister's wedding. i know it's not easy if your not used to speaking to large crowd of people (good thing i had experience speaking to an audience). making a "best man" speech has to come from an experience in knowing the relationship of your friend. tell them how you got to know your friend first, then how your friend changed (being more happy) when he met this particular lady, and ended with a salute to happiness to both couple in your own ways. you can be funny, corny as long as it's all positive for the couple. just be honest. oh, and don't drink any alcohol before you make the speech.

[dsheinem]

I teach Public Speaking and hear probably around 50 or so of these speeches a year. A few pointers:

-If the wedding is Saturday, prepare something NOW and start practicing. Practice multiple times a day working from an outline first, then just notes, and then with nothing (if you can). Nothing seems less sincere than reading your toast (even if it is well written). You should plan for 2-4 minutes. 1 minute is short, more than 5 can be a bit much (especially if guests are hungry!).

-Contrary to a suggestion below, consider that the audience is broader than just the people who know the bride/groom closely and create a speech that you think lots of people in the room can relate to. Don't include inside jokes, references, etc. Universal themes, stories about the bride/groom/couple and/or yourself that make people laugh or swoon - these are good to include.

-It is common to build the speech around a few main points or themes. A brief intro (an attention getter and explanation of what you plan to talk about) and conclusion (a brief summary and maybe a joke or quote to end) are also pretty standard and can work well.

That should get you started - I can offer more pointers if you want about speech writing or anxiety. Just let me know here or via PM.

[gtmtnbiker]

What I did was write down my speech and keep in my tux the entire day. I looked at it every chance I got. If you know the speech inside and out it will take away a lot of the nerves since you can be confident in what you're saying.

I did something similar. I wrote up a speech a few days before and practiced it for several days before the event in front of my girlfriend (now wife) at the time. This allowed me to tweak it. End result - it was a smashing success.

I advocate rehearsing/practicing any time you have to do a talk in front of the crowd. It really helps.

[Limewater]

I've also been a best man. Most of the advice above is good. Try for a laugh or two, but do not say anything that could possibly be construed as insulting about the bride. You can probably get away with a couple of jabs at the groom, but use common sense. Don't reveal anything embarrassing or that could get him in trouble.

Also, it might help you to find a good quote to start things off, or to express something that you think might be awkward to say yourself. Make sure to credit the source if you're quoting someone, though.

And you probably shouldn't use this quote:

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -- Socrates

It's a great one, and I actually used it in my best man speech, but I knew the bride very well and was really just using it as a lead-in to make a joke about the groom and to compliment the bride, so it worked out alright.

Also, keep it short. This probably won't be a problem, as you're nervous about it.

[Snickerd00dle]

I would just get real drunk and wing it!- not the best idea but you sure as hell won't be as nervous

[slowslow325]

I would just get real drunk and wing it!- not the best idea but you sure as hell won't be as nervous

Yea, I recommend that. Most best man speeches I hear include a lot of laughable parts. Just wing it!