Get out of my head. That is identical to the letter of what I did and what I thought about this game.J T wrote:It is a bit murky, but that is often the case with good art because it provides you with a unique and personal experience and encourages you to think about and interpret that experience. So I can only tell it as I experienced it without being sure of what the designer's intent is. Here's my experience of it.dsheinem wrote: I just played it for the first time. An interesting/memorable little title, but I agree that I'm not sure what the emotional resonance is supposed to be. Why did it make a big impact on you, why were you "teary eyed"? The last scene is something that you had to do earlier in the game anyway, so it's not like it was a big shock or anything...
Day 1. I did what you're "supposed" to do in life. I got up, turned off the alarm, and put on my clothes. I tried to talk to my wife, but she insisted I was late and there was no time, so I went to work and sat at my cubicle. This was a familiar routine from real world life and I just mimicked it in the game. It's boring. I assume that's the point.
Day 2. I repeated the same things, only this time I walked past my cubicle to find a ledge. I thought about returning to my cubicle, but I chose to jump rather than continue the mundane life cycle. It's interesting to me that I did this so early in the game. When faced with the choice of a mundane repetitive "game" of going to work every day, I chose death, you know, just to see what would happen.
Day 3. My suicide attempt only resulted in the dream repeating. I awoke again. Got dressed and didn't even bother trying to talk to my wife. I felt like I snubbed her and I was too apathetic to care. She only cares if I'm working anyway. Is that all I am to her? A living breathing paycheck? I just went straight to work, only this time, I noticed the leaf hanging from the tree branch that I hadn't paid much notice to before. It's funny how you can miss those little things. As it swirls in the wind, I think of the plastic bag in the movie American Beauty. I sat and watched it until it blew away, then I went to my cubicle.
Day 4. Every day is the same. Let's try something crazy. Death is no way out and the thought of repeating the get-up-go-to-work cycle ad infinitum is unbearable, so it's time to not give a fuck and play with the rules. I decide to go to work in my underwear. My wife tells me to get dressed. I ignore her. My boss tells me I'm fired. I laugh. Have I broken free of my chains?
Day 5. I awake again in this dream. I've made up my mind. I'm not going to work today. I try to talk to my wife about it, but she just wants me to work. As I walk out the door and turn in the opposite direction I would normally go. There's a homeless man. I feel a strange connection to him-- he is helpless without a job, and I feel helpless with a job. We talk and he offers to take me to a quiet place. I think he's going to offer me drugs, but instead we go to a cemetary and contemplate death. This experience manages to paradoxically be both peaceful and unsettling.
Day 6. Get up. Get dressed. Go to work. I'm stuck in traffic and I think I just don't care anymore. I get out of the car and walk away from the busy work world. There is a cow and I decide to pet it. It's an odd and akward moment between modern man and nature. I yearn for something real, yet I feel so unnatural. I suddenly decide I should go to work anyway, but as I'm walking past my office cubicle I'm still feeling crazy and I once again decide to keep walking and I jump off the ledge.
Day 7. I wake up. I don't bother to get dressed. Since I don't have any clothes on, I think maybe I can skip work and make love to my wife to liven things up. I walk into the kitchen, but she is not there. Has she left me? There is no note. I walk outside in my underwear. The homeless man is gone. When I get in my car there is no traffic. This is weird. Has the world ended? Am I being punished for thinking of killing myself? I arrive at work. There are no leaves on the tree. Everything is barren and empty. I feel alone. My boss is not there. The data charts show a plummeting red line. The cubicles are all empty. I would sit at my desk and work, but there is no point. I feel so alone. Those people may have all been cogs, but they were my only hope at some sort of understanding. I am a cog too, surely we can relate. My absent wife comes to mind. Why couldn't I connect with her? What about the weird lady in the elevator? She must have a story. I even miss my grumpy boss in this moment. Anyone is better than isolation. I didnt realize it until they were gone, but these people mattered. There is nowhere left to go but the ledge. I walk out and am happy to finally see another person, but I realize that the person is me and I am watching myself climb to top of the ledge. I want to stop myself from jumping, but I don't know how. The music turns ominous. I realize in that instant that I now have no choice, but before, I always did. It may have felt like I could only go to work on repeat forever, but there were always little things to appreciate. Every step I took had a seed for choice. Every step, but this last one. I watch myself jump...and the game is over.
I am brought back to my real life. I am sitting at my computer. I need to get to work. And I want to live.
I feel a bit scared now.
