How to Get over a Breakup?

[Luke]

So he ask for advice and we shouldn't give it?

If you have no understanding of the circumstances, yes.

It's as if someone posted "My Car doesn't work. Advice?" and everyone jumps in:

"I've been there man. It's got to be your starter. Trust me, you need a new starter. You'll be better after that."

"Car's just suck. Car's are like life. You need a tune-up and all will be well. Sparkplugs man, sparkplugs. You'll be okay".

"I know dude. Just move on and ride a bike. Cars just aren't worth it".

"My car also want start, and I don't care. I bought it pre-owned and found out one of my college buddies used to own it. Fuck. I don't care anymore".

And then eventually Inazuma comes in with:

"Owning a car goes against logic and basic rational reasoning. I lease. I lease a new car, run the shit out of it, then trade in for a newer model. Doing anything else goes against our basic desires. Get the best new car for a few months, tear it up, trade it in for a newer one. Why stick with just one car?"

[arion]

Enjoy the freedom

[Gamerforlife]

So he ask for advice and we shouldn't give it?

If you have no understanding of the circumstances, yes.

It's as if someone posted "My Car doesn't work. Advice?" and everyone jumps in:

"I've been there man. It's got to be your starter. Trust me, you need a new starter. You'll be better after that."

"Car's just suck. Car's are like life. You need a tune-up and all will be well. Sparkplugs man, sparkplugs. You'll be okay".

"I know dude. Just move on and ride a bike. Cars just aren't worth it".

"My car also want start, and I don't care. I bought it pre-owned and found out one of my college buddies used to own it. Fuck. I don't care anymore".

And then eventually Inazuma comes in with:

"Owning a car goes against logic and basic rational reasoning. I lease. I lease a new car, run the shit out of it, then trade in for a newer model. Doing anything else goes against our basic desires. Get the best new car for a few months, tear it up, trade it in for a newer one. Why stick with just one car?"

LOL

This man makes sense AND is funny

[pepharytheworm]

Cars are not a good analogy. Cars have specific ways of fixing specific problems I wish relationships were that easy. Relationships are not that way. What might work for one might not work for another, but if your battery is dead you get a new battery. While what you said was indeed funny.

If he told us the exact circumstance you still could give the wrong advice. The way I see it is we give advice from our own experiences and he can decide what would best help him in his given situation, your thinking to much that we are telling him what to do and that he might actually do everything we say.

All and all most people make threads like this to feel encouragement and to feel like they are not alone, so everyone's post helps.

[Inazuma]

Since my advice was discouraging serious relationships completely, I didn't need to know the details. I would have said the same thing either way.

[dedalusdedalus]

All and all most people make threads like this to feel encouragement and to feel like they are not alone, so everyone's post helps.

Yes, this.

My strong suspicion is that we all have our own ways of dealing with breakups, and no one who solicits breakup advice actually intends to follow through on the advice given to them. The real purpose of soliciting "breakup advice" is to get empathy; it's not prescriptive in function like seeking "broken car" or "broken console" advice.

[Luke]

Cars are not a good analogy. <snip>

If he told us the exact circumstance you still could give the wrong advice. The way I see it is we give advice from our own experiences and he can decide what would best help him in his given situation, your thinking to much that we are telling him what to do and that he might actually do everything we say.

Um, that's exactly like getting car repair advice.

I'll try and put it in a non-snarky, very sincere way: Be careful to give any, any advice, especially personal advice, if you don't know the circumstances. Beak could be twelve for all we know, and people are telling him to hit the bottle and to do drugs (some jokingly, but probably not all). Stupid. Common advice is just that. Common.

All we know is that some guy (we think) broke up with a girl. That is it.

Had he posted:

"I think I've fallen out of love with my girlfriend of three years. There is too much tension. We avoid each other, and just don't seem to still enjoy the same things we used to. It's almost as if we go out of our way to not talk, as we always end up arguing, even if it is about laundry. We don't go out together anymore. My friends don't like her, and she doesn't like my friends. I'm just not sure what to do. We're both in college, about to graduate, and I don't know if we should end our relationship or not. I still have feelings for her, but I think that feeling of love is gone. Anyone go through this before?",

I'd spend hours trying to give that post a decent response. But, "I dumped a girl that I had some type of anniversary with" shouldn't warrant a response.

[Gamerforlife]

All and all most people make threads like this to feel encouragement and to feel like they are not alone, so everyone's post helps.

Yes, this.

My strong suspicion is that we all have our own ways of dealing with breakups, and no one who solicits breakup advice actually intends to follow through on the advice given to them. The real purpose of soliciting "breakup advice" is to get empathy; it's not prescriptive in function like seeking "broken car" or "broken console" advice.

I get what Luke is saying but personally, I love topics like this just to hear everyone's stories, as well as seeing the different ways people deal with stuff like this.

It's interesting, and having had my fair share of heartbreaks I like seeing how other people deal with it

[Luke]

Since my advice was discouraging serious relationships completely, I didn't need to know the details. I would have said the same thing either way.

Wouldn't expect anything different. Yeah, we disagree, but at least we know where we are both coming from.

My strong suspicion is that we all have our own ways of dealing with breakups, and no one who solicits breakup advice actually intends to follow through on the advice given to them. The real purpose of soliciting "breakup advice" is to get empathy; it's not prescriptive in function like seeking "broken car" or "broken console" advice.

No suspicion, you're right.

We all have our own ways of dealing with breakups. But, he's not necessarily getting empathy. To empathize with someone you have to go through what the other one has. We don't know what "Beak" has been through besides he dumped a girl. We can only sympathize, since we don't know his circumstances. I've never grown personally through others sympathy. Empathy, on the other hand, can teach you how to grow.

And to stress my point we know nothing about the guy, 5 pages. no response.

[Luke]

I get what Luke is saying but personally, I love topics like this just to hear everyone's stories, as well as seeing the different ways people deal with stuff like this.

It's interesting, and having had my fair share of heartbreaks I like seeing how other people deal with it

And I love to hear people's stories too, and I've definitely been in break-ups, as I'm sure we all have. Shit, even Weasels met a girl once. I'm not trying to insult anyone, but before you give advice, you need to know the situation. That's my only point. You wouldn't give a 10 year old the same advice you'd give a grown man. Unless that man is Gary Coleman (Don't worry. He'll tune you out anyway).

People who ask for personal advice are obviously the people to most likely put your advice into action. Christ. Especially if people are pouring out their souls to complete strangers whose only common bond is liking retro games.