Collecting Addiction

[alienjesus]

I definitely think I could stand to cut down on the time I spend researching games, buying games, talking about games etc and increase the time I spend playing them.

I don't know that I would say I have an addiction as such, although I guess people could perceive it that way. I don't spend money I don't have, I put money away into savings, get stuff for my family and pay all my bills each month just fine. I also don't put so much time into that stuff as to impact my day to day life either. I have plenty of space for my collection as it stands too. But where the problem lies for me is that I definitely buy more games than I can reasonably get to. My backlog has been growing bit by bit year on year, at a fairly consistent pace of about 30 games each year. And with more modern games on the list, the average length of them is getting longer too.

So I know the reality is I need to be way more disciplined and selective about the games I do buy. I also need to diversify my interests so I can suggest other ideas for presents to people because mostly I get a big stack of new games every Christmas and birthday from my family! As I've acquired more consoles, tried new series and generally expanded my tastes, it's definitely become harder to decide what games I don't want to miss out on. I'm also keen to not just buy the newest big games too, y'know? Some of my favourite games are from more niche series or one-time things that I'd never have played if I approached it like that!

Anyhow, I'm just trying to cut the total number of games down that I buy each year. This year I'm trying to beat 3 before I buy 1, which was my goal last year too but I didn't stick to it as well as I should! I'm always very impressed by Markies approach to buying games on here - he's very controlled about getting the most out of the games he has and being selective in the games he picks up!

[Ziggy]

It's only an addiction if you can't stop.

I am not sure I can though. There have been months when I have told myself "that's it, you're getting too low on money, no more this month" and I haven't been able to stop. I have dipped into savings or I have sold stuff to alleviate the need to dip into savings.

Not being able to stop isn't necessarily an issue if you can stay in budget, but I guess it's becoming more of an issue now because of the cost of living crisis and just existing now costing a fortune.

As for the rest your post, some great thoughts and a great quote. I do think wanting is often more pleasurable than having, there is definitely some truth to that.

I'l check out your thread too!

Not sure if you can? Or perhaps you just don't want to. If you told yourself, OK, no more game purchases this month but then you ended up buying games anyway... That might mean you couldn't help yourself or it might mean that you simply changed your mind.

Dipped into savings may be a problem. It depends what the savings are for. And that's your money (I'm assuming) so after all you can do whatever you'd like with it. You might be being shortsighted if it's for retirement, but that's still not necessarily an addiction.

Selling things to fund more game purchases also isn't necessarily a problem. Are you selling other games to fund new games? Or are you selling other hobby type stuff to further fund a hobby? Because that's absolutely fine! But if you're selling your furniture or microwave because you blew the rent money on games, then it may be time to seek help.

Ugh, cost of living, tell me about it! Part of me thinks I should slow down with hobby purchasing because of how messed up things are right now.

That Spock quote really resonated when I first saw that episode (I believe it's Amok Time). I was pretty young, and it just stuck with me.

It's been a while since I've read that collection thread I linked to. But if I recall, there's lots of great points in there. Not just from me, but everyone that posted in it. I actually should read through it myself, and remember things I have forgotten.

Which, maybe off topic, reminds me that I've thought about keeping a journal. As I'm getting older, I'm finding that I've come to realizations or thought through certain situations. But then time passes, or you never acted on something, and you forget things. Keeping a journal seems like something so outdated, but there may be some real benefits to it. It might even help with a situation like this. Often times I find that just writing about something helps me to think things through better. I've actually typed up a post for a new thread to ask for advice or input, only to end up never posting it. The act of writing makes your brain think about it differently, and that can often lead to working something out.

Anyways, if you have enough self awareness to question if something you're doing is good or bad, then I think you're loads ahead of the game.

[Markies]

Anyhow, I'm just trying to cut the total number of games down that I buy each year. This year I'm trying to beat 3 before I buy 1, which was my goal last year too but I didn't stick to it as well as I should! I'm always very impressed by Markies approach to buying games on here - he's very controlled about getting the most out of the games he has and being selective in the games he picks up!

I cannot emphasize how much the "Beat 3, Buy 1" system has changed me. Not only does it force you to play games that you already own, but when you do buy a game, its like an accomplishment. It's not another game on a shelf, it is a game you have earned. That makes the process of picking out what game to buy even more selective. You know it takes a while to buy another game, so each selection, you will pick out the game you want the most.

Also, splurges are not necessarily a bad thing. You don't go on a diet and never eat chocolate. Eat the chocolate, but make it count and do less of it. I have regional Retro Gaming Conventions that I go and I splurge on those days. I don't think anything else besides buying the games. But, the next day, I go back to playing and beating games.

Also, sites like the Backloggery really helped me in the early going. In your mind, you can distort how many games you have played/beaten in both ways. If you want to buy a game, your mind will tell you that can buy another one. When it arrives and you feel guilty, your mind tells you that you have too many games. Having a hard and cold number staring you in the face really helped me. After I uploaded my collection, I had 175 Unfinished Games and that was ridiculous to me. Once I saw that number, I knew I had to make a change.

[Reprise]

Not sure if you can? Or perhaps you just don't want to. If you told yourself, OK, no more game purchases this month but then you ended up buying games anyway... That might mean you couldn't help yourself or it might mean that you simply changed your mind.

Dipped into savings may be a problem. It depends what the savings are for. And that's your money (I'm assuming) so after all you can do whatever you'd like with it. You might be being shortsighted if it's for retirement, but that's still not necessarily an addiction.

Selling things to fund more game purchases also isn't necessarily a problem. Are you selling other games to fund new games? Or are you selling other hobby type stuff to further fund a hobby? Because that's absolutely fine! But if you're selling your furniture or microwave because you blew the rent money on games, then it may be time to seek help.

Ugh, cost of living, tell me about it! Part of me thinks I should slow down with hobby purchasing because of how messed up things are right now.

That Spock quote really resonated when I first saw that episode (I believe it's Amok Time). I was pretty young, and it just stuck with me.

It's been a while since I've read that collection thread I linked to. But if I recall, there's lots of great points in there. Not just from me, but everyone that posted in it. I actually should read through it myself, and remember things I have forgotten.

Which, maybe off topic, reminds me that I've thought about keeping a journal. As I'm getting older, I'm finding that I've come to realizations or thought through certain situations. But then time passes, or you never acted on something, and you forget things. Keeping a journal seems like something so outdated, but there may be some real benefits to it. It might even help with a situation like this. Often times I find that just writing about something helps me to think things through better. I've actually typed up a post for a new thread to ask for advice or input, only to end up never posting it. The act of writing makes your brain think about it differently, and that can often lead to working something out.

Anyways, if you have enough self awareness to question if something you're doing is good or bad, then I think you're loads ahead of the game.

Yeah, that's the thing I guess. I don't know. Maybe I change my mind or maybe I can't control the urge to buy things. Sometimes I think I want things, but then after I get them I just have no excitement or urge to play or use whatever it is I bought. It's not always like that, but it does make me think I need to be smarter about my purchases, but I just can't seem to work out how, because it's like I don't know my own mind. I don't know, it's weird. Take shmups, I think I want one, but then I can get one and feel nothing. It just leaves me cold. Yet, Mars Matrix I picked up last Christmas in 2023 and it's legitimately been one of my favourite games I have been playing over the last year and I keep going back to it. Yet I also picked up Border Down and Gradius V in the last year or two and I have probably played both of them once or twice and felt nothing, and so never returned to them.

As for savings and selling stuff, I don't mean anything dreadful (at least yet). The savings are there for retirement, to help the kids in the future, but also for things like when the house needs work (just had to have a new window fitted and a new bathroom done for example) or if something major happens like the boiler breaks down. But a lot of it is also my own money I have set aside and built up, so it's not like I am blowing the family savings. I also try to replace what I take out, but the rate of replacing the spent money has definitely declined. I just worry that this isn't sustainable, which means I need to now change my behaviour. This is where I start questioning my mental health, because I feel like I am trying to control an urge to just buy something anything. Right now I don't even really know what I want, there's a couple games and things (an arcade stick for the Dreamcast) that I want, but I am not too sure how much I really want them right now or what my priority is. That in theory should mean I can just cool it off this month and re-assess in a month or two, but my mind keeps scattering around going "you need to buy something!", "buy something!" and I don't understand why. We have literally just had Christmas and I just received new games.

And speaking of just receiving games, I am trying to get myself to play through them and concentrate on beating them instead of worrying about buying something new. It's going quite well as I am playing Ghost Trick and Final Fantasy XVI each evening, altering between both, and then once I have beaten one of them I will move onto Rain Code and continue until they are all completed. But despite that, the feeling of needing more games and stuff doesn't go away.

Regarding me selling stuff, yeah, it's not like I am selling the home appliances, the kids' toys or special jewellery, don't worry. I do just mean stuff I have built up over the years, like games and DVDs/Blu-Rays I no longer want.

I think the issues are that I have realised that these habits are not sustainable and so I need to reduce my spending each month, but when I try to, I feel like 1. I cannot and 2. It makes me miserable. Neither of those seem like indicators that I am particularly healthy.

The weird thing is I did it a few years ago I and managed fine.

Maybe it's harder now because of the cost of living and I just seem to have way less disposable income. Also my wife was on maternity leave a couple of years ago and that has had a knock on effect. I don't know. I have increased how much money I am allocating to bills each month by nearly £500 in just 3 years. It's crazy.

[ZRofel]

I think the issues are that I have realised that these habits are not sustainable and so I need to reduce my spending each month, but when I try to, I feel like 1. I cannot and 2. It makes me miserable. Neither of those seem like indicators that I am particularly healthy.

Yeah, I would say this right here indicates that there's something else going on in your subconscious. And, I mean, it makes sense. There's a lot happening in the world right now that's going to make people stressed, anxious, and miserable. I suspect, based off of what you're saying here, that you're using the satisfaction of building your collection to fill an emotional hole. Obviously you'd be the one best qualified to say what that might be, but it sounds to me like this "addiction" is probably symptomatic of some deeper dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment.